Multiply that by 1.8 million (Boy, is he going to regret that tomorrow)

A killer executed in Florida requested an unpleasant last meal of peanut butter, oatmeal, and two sports drinks. Boy, is he going to regret that tomorrow. —Greg Gutfeld 

Pete Hegseth replaced some of the soldiers in the Texas National Guard because they were too fat. He says it's been years since some of these troops have seen their privates. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is the kind of thing that could damage their 10 percent approval rating (Fixed this for you)

"People are saying now that before the government shutdown congressmen went out and got drunk – celebrating that they had shut down the government. This is the kind of thing that could damage their 10 percent approval rating." –David Letterman

"A few weeks ago President Obama was riding in an elevator, and it turns out a guy on the elevator had a gun. This is pretty scary stuff. Not as scary as riding in an elevator with Ray Rice, but still scary." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

OK, I'll do it! I talked myself into it! (the lamest use of a magic wand)

In an interview this week, Jeb Bush said that if he had a magic wand, there are at least ten things that he would like to change about the Constitution. Then Jeb Bush was given the prize for "lamest use of a magic wand." --Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump just gave a big interview to the Hollywood Reporter. And when he was asked what actor he’d want to play him in a movie, he said, “Somebody really, really handsome.” Then he said, “OK, I'll do it! I talked myself into it!" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

we're referring to her skills as a gardener (beating out their usual choice, the dentist)

Jasmine Crockett claimed her Hot Wheels remark about Texas Governor Greg Abbott wasn't about his wheelchair. Yeah, and when we call her a lousy hoe we're referring to her skills as a gardener. —Greg Gutfeld

The British media are claiming that JD Vance is the most dangerous man in the world, beating out their usual choice, the dentist. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s the first brawl that began with everyone in critical condition (Dammit, why did I get this)

A brawl broke out in a Canadian nursing home when a 79 year old woman took the seat of an 86 year old during a Bingo game. It’s the first brawl that began with everyone in critical condition. --Michael Che, SNL

A new study shows that the Covid vaccine does not cause infertility in men or women. ‘Dammit, why did I get this.’ —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

There was a hurricane in New Orleans? (they know there's nothing you won't allow them to do)

"In a speech in Canada, former President George W. Bush said he was proud that when he was in office he didn't sell his soul, which is true. He rented it to Dick Cheney, who then sublet it to Halliburton, but it's totally different." –Jay Leno

"President Obama went to New Orleans today to check up on the rebuilding efforts after Hurricane Katrina. When President Bush heard about it, he said, 'There was a hurricane in New Orleans?'"–Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I'm Speaking - The Grayzone live (August 9, 2024)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's been upgraded from hated to unpopular (and $9 million for what they found in the medicine cabinet)

"Here's fascinating news. Dick Cheney, do you remember Dick Cheney? Dick 'Boom Boom' Cheney. His approval rating is up to 26%, up to 26%. Yeah, crazy, isn't it? He's been upgraded from hated to unpopular." --David Letterman

"Rush Limbaugh had an apartment here in New York City. He sold the apartment for $11.5 million. That is $2.5 million for the apartment and $9 million for what they found in the medicine cabinet." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump technically slept with her again (Bankruptcy Aficionado)

With Stormy Daniels on the witness stand and Donald Trump’s penchant for dozing off in court, Trump technically slept with her again. —Seth Meyers

As for the rolled Forbes magazine that reportedly had Trump’s face on it – I think it’s weird that the hotel even had a copy of Bankruptcy Aficionado. —Seth Meyers 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m just happy that he’s not sending military aid somewhere (stop knocking on my dressing room door)

President Biden said that the National Guard should not be called in to deal with campus protests. I’m just happy that he’s not sending military aid somewhere. —Michael Che

May is National Masturbation Month, so stop knocking on my dressing room door. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Dalai Lama just doesn't want to get shot by Cheney (stern message to the Ottoman Empire)

"The people who are really getting tough with the Middle East is the House Foreign Relations Committee. Those motherf------ are not kidding around. They voted yesterday to condemn, as an act of genocide, the killings of Armenians in Turkey in 1915. See, this is exactly why the voters gave control to the Democrats. They send a stern message to the Ottoman Empire." --Bill Maher

"On the peaceful side of the equation, the Dalai Lama is coming to the United States next week. He's going to get the Congressional Medal of Honor, meet with President Bush. He is going to, of course, be wearing his famous flowing orange robes. Nothing religious about that, he just doesn't want to get shot by Cheney." --Bill Maher

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

JOKES: It was the first time people playing a Trump drinking game ended up sober

President Trump gave his big address to Congress last night. But it was surprising — he didn’t trash the media or brag about winning the election. It was the first time people playing a Trump drinking game ended up sober. –Jimmy Fallon

Trump’s speech is actually getting pretty good reviews. In fact, a CNN poll found that 69 percent of viewers approved of Trump’s speech. Yeah, 69. Trump called the number impressive, while Mike Pence called it inappropriate. –Jimmy Fallon

But not everyone was impressed. In fact, many Democrats actually rushed out at the end of Trump’s address. Most were annoyed by Trump’s speech, while Bernie Sanders said, “Drinking a Big Gulp right before was NOT a good idea.” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

and if the next 9 billion things go their way, we can finally call it even (hippies with guitars)

The Dakota Access oil pipeline, which the Sioux tribe has been protesting for months, will no longer be routed through their land. It’s a big win for Native Americans — and if the next 9 billion things go their way, we can finally call it even. –James Corden

Protesters from all over the country have gathered there. I would like to imagine the guy who was late and just got there today, like, “I’m here, how can I help? We did it? Yeah!” –James Corden

The Native American people who have been protesting announced that their fight is far from over, but for now, hippies with guitars can stop coming to help them. –James Corden