shellacked like a hard word floor on This Old House (like Hunter Biden dodging child support)

Kamala Harris got shellacked like a hard word floor on This Old House. —Greg Gutfeld

Instead of giving a concession speech she avoided her supporters like Hunter Biden dodging child support. —Greg Gutfeld

Excuse me, but Al Sharpton complaining about racial bias is like the Menendez brothers complaining about being orphans. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

two things right there that Trump absolutely hates (they should have asked him to identify his second daughter)

July 2020

“Chris Wallace did two things right there that Trump absolutely hates: He proved him wrong, and he made him do homework.” —Trevor Noah

“Wow, guys, this is sort of making me sad right now, because Trump is trying so hard to claim he’s a genius because he passed a test where you have to identify an elephant. Which, let’s be honest, even for Trump, is too easy. I mean, if they wanted to test Trump, they shouldn’t have asked him to identify an elephant — they should have asked him to identify his second daughter.” —Trevor Noah

“There’s a giant middle ground between naming bases after Confederate generals and naming them after Al Sharpton. I mean, America has had lots of non-Confederate generals. And Trump should know that — he’s fired a lot of them.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

What are the odds of a city having two reverends named Al Sharpton? (Michael Jordan's fantasy camp)

"New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg praised Reverend Al Sharpton, calling him a calming influence on the city. Wow! What are the odds of a city having two reverends named Al Sharpton?" --Seth Meyers

"This week, President Obama attended what was either the G-20 summit or his high school reunion. I haven't seen old white dudes this excited about meeting a black guy since Michael Jordan's fantasy camp." --Seth Meyers

"Michelle Obama was photographed in London wearing clothes from J-Crew, the store is selling out of the clothes she's been wearing. Now if someone could just get her to drive a Chrysler." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bush will hide his Iraq strategy in one of 26 suitcases (one hell of a debate)

"President Bush will address the nation tomorrow night and his speech is going to pre-empt the television show 'Deal or No Deal.' To appease fans of the show, the president will hide his Iraq strategy in one of 26 suitcases." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday in New York there was a horrible gas-like odor. Today officials think they've traced the source of the smell to a rotting swamp in New Jersey. The name of the rotting swamp? New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday Al Sharpton was asked about running for president, and he said, 'I'm not hearing a lot of meat. When the meats hit the fire, we'll find out if there's some real meat there.' Personally, I think it's a shame President Bush can't run again, because that would be one hell of a debate." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hillary Clinton called it a bad omen (Good luck trying to find another campaign manager)

"Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. He has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida does not vote on this one." --Jay Leno

"Congratulations to Tony Dungy, the first African American coach to win the Super Bowl. As the first African American, Jesse Jackson called it a ground breaking moment. Al Sharpton called it a positive step. And Hillary Clinton called it a bad omen." --Jay Leno

"The Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom, has apologized for having an affair with the wife of his campaign manager. To be fair, he's not the first guy in San Francisco to have sex behind someone's back. He also stated this will not stop him from seeking re-election. Good luck trying to find another campaign manager." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

that's when the investors realized that if anything happened to him, President Bush would be in charge (in retaliation for that lawyer he shot in the face)

"How many of you have money in the stock market? Not anymore. At one point today, the market was down over 500 points. The drop started after the attempted assassination on Vice President Dick Cheney. See that's when the investors realized that if anything happened to him, President Bush would be in charge." --Jay Leno

"Today in Afghanistan, a suicide bomber blew himself up outside the main gate of the Army base where Vice President Cheney was staying. Cheney says he's fine. He's says the guy was either sent by the Taliban or by the American Bar Association in retaliation for that lawyer he shot in the face." --Jay Leno

"According to a report by this genealogist, Al Sharpton's ancestors were slaves once owned by Strom Thurmond's relatives. Now Al Sharpton wants a DNA test to see if they are related. And you know, somehow, this is going to end up that Strom Thurmond is the the father of Anna Nicole's baby." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I mean, seriously, it only could have happened in America (he'd now like to be buried in the Bahamas)

"According to the Taliban, Osama bin Laden is alive. But they said if he dies, he'd now like to be buried in the Bahamas." --Jay Leno

"It's March 1st. Black History Month is officially over. But did you know that black history continues ... almost all the time. Take the story of one Reverend Al Sharpton -- Democrat, one-time presidential candidate and outspoken leader on civil rights. Funny story. Some genealogist is looking into his background and ... you're not going to believe this. It turns out his great grandfather had been enslaved by a relative of late South Carolina Senator and famed segregationist Strom Thurmond. Only in America. I mean, seriously, it only could have happened in America." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

they sold him because his medallion kept getting caught in the cotton gin (I meant to say he was sacrificing brain cells)

"In other slave-owning news this week ... one of Al Sharpton's ancestors was owned by one of Strom Thurmond's ancestors. But they sold him because his medallion kept getting caught in the cotton gin." --Bill Maher

"You heard about the big John McCain gaffe. He was on the David Letterman show announcing his presidential campaign, and he pulled a Joe Biden. ... He used the word 'wasted' to describe the lives lost in Iraq. Next day, he said he should have used the word 'sacrifice'. But to put it into perspective, when McCain was a prisoner in Vietnam, George Bush was wasted. Sorry, I meant to say he was sacrificing brain cells." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

what sane person would try to pass themselves off as Dick Cheney? (In a related story, nobody asked)

"During a press conference today, President Bush was asked if he knew the current price of a gallon of gasoline. And Bush's answer was within a few pennies. He did well, which isn't surprising, because Bush spends most of the day watching the 'Price is Right.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Police in Connecticut arrested a man for speeding who identified himself as Vice President Dick Cheney. They took the guy to the hospital. Obviously, this guy has mental problems. I mean, these days, what sane person would try to pass themselves off as Dick Cheney?" --Jay Leno

"Reverend Al Sharpton announced yesterday he is not running for president. In a related story, nobody asked." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

every time you take a buck away from a politician, you're fighting crime right there (Fullofshititcus)

"Radio personality Don Imus is in trouble after making racially insulting remarks about the Rutgers University's basketball team. Today he went on Al Sharpton's radio show to beg for forgiveness. Of course, no one can believe this -- Al Sharpton has a radio show?" -Jay Leno

"The Republicans issued a statement today demanding that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi get back to work. President Bush would have made the statement himself, but he's still on vacation." -Jay Leno

"A consumer watchdog group says there should be a box to check on your ballot if you want a dollar of your taxes to fight crime instead of going to presidential candidates. Which I think is a great idea. I mean, every time you take a buck away from a politician, you're fighting crime right there." -Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bill Clinton never travels without protection (A can of a mace and a pen knife)

"Barack Obama has been placed under Secret Service protection. Of course, now comes the tough part -- picking a Secret Service codename that Al Sharpton will not find racist." --Bill Maher

"Hillary Clinton, as a former first lady, already has a Secret Service detail. And, of course, Bill Clinton never travels without protection." --Bill Maher

"Because of Barack Obama's immense popularity, he has already been given Secret Service protection. Poor Joe Biden. Did you see what he got? A can of a mace and a pen knife." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

GOP's obscene message to children (pick up some milk at the 9-Eleven)

"You know  Bill O'Reilly is in a little bit of trouble with the black folks. He had dinner in Harlem with Al Sharpton -- he must have lost a bet -- and he discovered that black people use utensils when they eat. He said he was shocked and delighted to see there was no difference between a black-owned restaurant and a white-owned restaurant. Which is true, because apparently, they both serve crackers." --Bill Maher

"Last week during a speech to the NRA, Rudy Giuliani was interrupted by a cell phone call, which he stopped his speech to answer. Giuliani then told the audience, 'That was my wife reminding me to pick up some milk at the 9-Eleven.'" --Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It is unlikely someone could run a country with a severe loss of brain activity (I beg to differ)

"Today is the day we celebrate Dr. King's birthday. I'm not quite sure President Bush understands this. When he was told it's Dr. King's birthday, he said, 'Larry's a doctor?' And did you hear what happened in Sacramento?  Arnold Schwarzenegger celebrated by crashing his motorcycle into Al Sharpton." --Jay Leno

"Doctors in Israel are now slowly drawing Prime Minister Ariel Sharon out of his coma to see what his remaining brain function is. Political experts say it is unlikely someone could run a country with a severe loss of brain activity. I beg to differ." --Jay Leno

"Have you watched any of these confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito? Senators are given thirty minutes to question the guy: thirty minutes exactly. Senator Joe Biden’s question took 23 1/2 minutes. His question took 24 minutes. And Alito is smart. He’s brilliant. Do you know what he said? 'I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?'" --Jay Leno

How is Al Sharpton going to fly? (Ryan Seacrest is grounded)

"Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?"  --Jay Leno

"They're not letting people on planes anymore with liquids or beverages of any kind. That's why there are these huge delays. The pilots are hanging around the gate chugging their beers. In fact‚ in London you can't even bring toothpaste on the plane, which I guess for the English is not that big a problem. You can't bring hair gel. How is Al Sharpton going to fly?" --Jay Leno

"Security is going to be much tighter at the airports now. Because of the terrorist plot, airport officials are confiscating all shampoos and hair gels. In other words, Ryan Seacrest is grounded." --Conan O'Brien

I’m sorry, I meant the orange Don King

After winning in South Carolina, Donald Trump boasted that he got the votes of "tall people, short people, fat people and skinny people." Then Trump said he "got some votes in a box" and "some votes from a fox." –Conan O’Brien 

Analysts say that Donald Trump’s GOP rivals are running out of time to defeat him. This is not according to the electoral schedule — it’s according to the Book of Revelations. –Conan O’Brien

Reverend Al Sharpton called Donald Trump the "white Don King." Today, Sharpton apologized and said, "I’m sorry, I meant the orange Don King." –Conan O’Brien