That money will now be used to make sure the cameras outside his jail cell aren’t working (Which is perfect because they already have the flags)

December 2022

Sam Bankman-Fried was arrested on fraud charges in the Bahamas. Prosecutors allege that Bankman-Fried took funds from FTX customers to make large political donations. That money will now be used to make sure the cameras outside his jail cell aren’t working. —Michael Che

Georgia representative, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who let’s face it, is absolutely my type, complained that people can by butt plugs at Target and that they melt and are shaped like Santa. —Michael Che

Republican insiders are concerned that a rivalry between Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis could lead to a civil war within the party. Which is perfect because they already have the flags. —Michael Che

A man who made aviation history by parachuting out of a hot air ballon 20 miles above the earth has died at the age of 94 when he finally hit the ground. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He looks like he was thrown naked into a Goodwill and given 90 seconds to get dressed (Y’all killed your own voters!)

“The billion-dollar collapse of the crypto exchange FTX on Wednesday evening, followed the arrest of founder and CEO Sam Bankman-Fried in the Bahamas on Monday. Bankman-Fried, also known as SBF, a guy who looks the way Cheeto dust smells, is charged with defrauding customers out of billions of dollars in a massive years-long fraud. Oh, are billions of dollars missing? Have you checked the fanny pack where his weed dealer keeps all his tips? I can’t believe this guy thought he could hide out in the Bahamas. Usually when you think of international fugitive, you imagine a stylish jewel thief, not a guy in a T-shirt that clearly came out of a cannon at a basketball game. Dude was supposed to be a billionaire but he looks like he was thrown naked into a Goodwill and given 90 seconds to get dressed.” —Seth Meyers

“In a recent poll Ron DeSantis is leading over Donald Trump. So to take full command of the GOP, all Ron DeSantis has to do is reel in the coveted conservative demographic of angry conspiracy QAnon all-meat diet tan your testicle boys. And the Florida governor’s opening offer to that crowd was calling for a grand jury investigation of Covid vaccines. You stupid mother-Pfizer. You want an investigation? Let me save you some time and money: in the US alone, the Covid vaccines have saved more than 3 million lives and helped prevent 18.5 million hospitalizations. And because idiots in your party politicized the vaccine, almost twice as many Republicans died from Covid before the midterms than the Democrats. Y’all killed your own voters!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Proud Parent of an Honor Student and I’m an Arsonist (Don’t get your annual checkup from Dr. Guy Death-Kauser?)

December 2022

“Speaking of criminals, Sam Bankman-Fried, the former CEO of crypto exchange FTX, who was arrested on Monday in the Bahamas on several fraud charges following FTX’s stunning collapse. What has this world come to, where you can’t trust the guy selling imaginary computer coins whose name is almost exactly Bankman-Fraud. What’s next? Don’t get your annual checkup from Dr. Guy Death-Kauser?” —Stephen Colbert

“Prosecutors revealed an eight-charge indictment ranging from wire fraud to money laundering to conspiracy to commit fraud on the US. Bankman-Fried faces up to 115 years in prison, because this allegedly guilty guy is allegedly very guilty, allegedly. How allegedly guilty is he, allegedly? For one, FTX’s inner circle had a secret chat group chat called ‘Wirefraud’. That’s a weirdly bald confession. That’s like getting a bumper sticker that says ‘Proud Parent of an Honor Student and I’m an Arsonist’.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Things we Can/Can't afford (What's Ann Coulter done now?)

October 2013

"Because of the government shutdown, the White House is under attack – by squirrels. They've invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time federal employees." –Craig Ferguson

'A lot of people got mad when Michelle Obama expanded the White House garden. That just shows you some people don't know their history. When Eleanor Roosevelt grew a garden, it was a 'victory garden.' But when Michelle Obama does it, it's a 'communist plot.'" –Craig Ferguson

"When I first heard the White House was under attack by freaky rodents, I thought, 'What's Ann Coulter done now?'" –Craig Ferguson

"This kind of thing would never have happened under George W. Bush because Dick Cheney would have been on the White House lawn blasting the squirrels with a shotgun." –Craig Ferguson

"There was a Columbus Day parade here in New York City. Columbus thought he landed in India. Instead he landed in the Bahamas. If he were alive today he'd be running an Italian cruise ship." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he can cure your carpal tunnel and turn your thumb into a bong (Oh, karma, you old rascal, you)

April 2021

“Investigators are examining a trip representative Matt Gaetz, Republican of Florida, took to the Bahamas with Jason Pirozzolo, a marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon. Yes, marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon, which means he can cure your carpal tunnel and turn your thumb into a bong.” —Stephen Colbert

“By the way, if your hand surgeon is also a marijuana entrepreneur, probably a good idea to learn to write with your feet.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I know Gaetz is from Florida, but ‘Bahamas sex trafficking with weed-peddling hand surgeon’ is almost too Florida, even for him.” —Stephen Colbert

“So good luck, Matt Gaetz. Maybe he just loves Trump so much he wants to go to jail with him, is that possible?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Now might be a fun time to remind people of this tweet Matt Gaetz posted just before Michael Cohen testified in Congress about his former boss, Donald Trump: ‘Hey @michaelcohen212 do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful while you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot.’ Oh, karma, you old rascal, you.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

To learn who rules over you simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize (We prefer the term good swimmer)

"James Cameron, film director, claims he has discovered the tomb of Christ. I just hope this doesn't lead to a court battle in Florida. Who would have guessed they found Jesus before bin Laden?" --David Letterman

"A filmmaker is claiming that the remains of Jesus have been discovered in a tomb in Jerusalem. Which is crazy, because Jesus made it perfectly clear he wanted to be buried in the Bahamas next to Anna Nicole." --Conan O'Brien

"A new poll finds that President Bush's father, George H.W. Bush, is the most popular living ex-president. Apparently, voters were just excited to hear the words 'George Bush' next to the phrase 'ex-president.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Some politicians in Florida are trying to ban the use of the term 'illegal alien' because they think it is offensive. The Florida officials say, 'We prefer the term good swimmer.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I mean, seriously, it only could have happened in America (he'd now like to be buried in the Bahamas)

"According to the Taliban, Osama bin Laden is alive. But they said if he dies, he'd now like to be buried in the Bahamas." --Jay Leno

"It's March 1st. Black History Month is officially over. But did you know that black history continues ... almost all the time. Take the story of one Reverend Al Sharpton -- Democrat, one-time presidential candidate and outspoken leader on civil rights. Funny story. Some genealogist is looking into his background and ... you're not going to believe this. It turns out his great grandfather had been enslaved by a relative of late South Carolina Senator and famed segregationist Strom Thurmond. Only in America. I mean, seriously, it only could have happened in America." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”