You think politicians would admire that (Has Four Letters)

"George W. Bush is the right man to lead us in the era post whatever horrible calamity he leads us into next." –Daily Show correspondent John Oliver

"The folks at ABC ran into some trouble with their 9/11 mini-series. Lots of politicians are upset with the show because they say it cleverly mixes facts with lies to mislead the American public. You think politicians would admire that." --Jay Leno

"You've heard about red states and blue states, but there are also red words and blue words. 'Shall' is red. It's strong and authoritarian, like the Republicans. 'I shall return' [on screen: To Gay-Bashing in Election Years]. 'Shall' embodies traditional Republican values like stick-to-it-iveness and telling other people how to live [on screen: In Fear]. 'Shall' is godly, as in 'I shall not kill' [on screen: Except By Lethal Injection]. If God were a Democrat, which he is not [on screen: Though He Is Pro-Lieberman] God would have said, 'Thou will not kill,' meaning you shouldn't kill, but you had a bad childhood, so it's society's fault [on screen: Here's Some Counseling On Us]. 'Will' is a blue word [on screen: Has Four Letters]. It's weak. It's vacillating like the Democrats, as in, 'I will cut and run' [on screen: 60% 'Will' Agree]. Think of all those times you hear 'will' and 'Democrats' in the same sentence. The Democrats will tax. The Democrats will spend [on screen: Democrats Will Win The Mid-Term Elections]." --Stephen Colbert