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report came out last week that members of ISIS are trying to fake doctor's
notes to get themselves out of front line duty. Imagine a member of ISIS
calling in like, "Hey guys, I have actually got a bit of a cough and don't
think I can go to the suicide bombing today." –James Corden
Indiana
is holding its primary tomorrow, and Donald Trump is currently leading Ted Cruz
by 15 points. While John Kasich still holds a narrow lead over "Not
Sure." –Seth Meyers
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100-year-old Brooklyn woman has become the oldest runner to ever cross the
finish line in the 100-meter dash. On the down side, she started the race in
2009. –Seth Meyers
Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson put out a new alarm clock app today which includes
a feature that will sync with The Rock's calendar so fans can wake up at the
same time as him. After that, your day and his day start to diverge pretty
wildly. –Seth Meyers
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