Goddammit, It’s My Turn! (three years of war with Mexico)

Donald Trump tweeted that a Hillary Clinton presidency would be "four more years of stupidity." As opposed to a Trump presidency, which would be one year of stupidity followed by three years of war with Mexico. –Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton’s new campaign slogan is "Stronger Together." Which replaces her old slogan, "Goddammit, It’s My Turn!" –Conan O’Brien

A new study has found that beautiful people have totally different life experiences from the rest of you. I’m sorry, I meant the rest of us. –Conan O’Brien