Bush is finally going to finish up that National Guard duty

"Yesterday, Bush had lunch with the new Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. I believe the main course was Rumsfeld's head on a platter." --Jay Leno

"I don't want to say that George Bush is a lame duck, but this morning, Cheney shot him." --Bill Maher

"On Thursday, the Army launched its new recruitment slogan, 'Army Strong,' which replaces their previous slogan, 'Army of One.' Meanwhile, the Navy is sticking with their recruiting slogan, 'Iraq: It's Almost Entirely Landlocked.'." --Seth Meyers

"Next week, President Bush is going to Vietnam. So it looks like he's finally going to finish up that National Guard duty." --Jay Leno