"Scientists
announced today they have been able to grow rat hearts in a lab. Finally, some
good news for Dick
Cheney." --Jay Leno
"Because
it's a long, horrifying process to run for the nomination, candidates often
like to have fun on the campaign trail. And a couple of days ago -- this is
great -- Hillary Clinton, while she was flying on her campaign
airplane, pretended to be a flight attendant. But that's not all. She was so convincing that
Bill actually hit on her" --David Letterman
"The
American Civil Liberties Union is defending America's favorite restroom
enthusiast, Senator
Larry Craig. 'Mr.
Urinal,' they call him. Remember, he's the senator who got caught soliciting
sex in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport. Well, now the ACLU said that
sex in a public restroom is considered private if the door is closed. That's
something to think about the next time you're putting that tissue liner around
the toilet bowl" --Jay Leno
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