"When the president
gave an interview with the Washington Post earlier this week, this audio
exchange came as a bit of surprise. [On screen: Bush: We're not winning and
we're not losing]. Technically, the president is correct. We're not winning
or losing because Iraq is in a Civil War. We can't win or lose that. It has
nothing to do with us!" --Jon Stewart
"This sounds like a
tabloid story “but according to the Washington Post, former President Bill
Clinton has received counseling for sex addiction. I don't think it went too
well. Halfway through the first session he talked to his therapist out of a bra
and panties. Actually, you know what would cure Bill of his sex addiction?
Hillary!" --Jay Leno
"Big changes in
Washington. Earlier today, new Secretary of Defense Robert Gates flew to Iraq
to get a first-hand look of the situation over there. After surveying the
situation, Gates was quoted as saying, 'Uh oh.'" --Conan O'Brien
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