"Senator Hillary
Clinton was asked about President Bush and she said, 'I'm not going to believe
this president again.' Yeah, Hillary said, to be fair, I stopped believing
presidents ten years ago. Apparently she had a bad experience." --Conan
O'Brien
"Robert Gates, the
new Secretary of Defense, was sworn in today. During his speech, he thanked his
93-year-old mother. After the speech, Gates's 93-year-old mother told her boy
to go out there, and kick the Kaiser's ass." --Conan O'Brien
"Evidently, America
doesn't value balls anymore because last month they put the Democrats in
Congress. Look at the leadership. Nancy Pelosi. Not that women can't have
balls. They can have lady balls. I call them thatchers." --Stephen Colbert
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