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Showing posts with label Lawrence Welk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lawrence Welk. Show all posts

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk (hanging out with Michael Jackson)


"Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk." –Jay Leno


"More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'" –Jay Leno


"This week in his inaugural address, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spoke of wanting to bring the people of New Jersey together. He wanted to bring them together by having them all try to merge into one lane." –Jay Leno

 

"Have you seen New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson? He supported Barack. He's now got a mustache and a goatee. Analysts say he's trying to look more Hispanic, more ethnic. They say that's one of the reasons that Obama joined the Trinity Church with the radical minister, tried to appear more black. See, white politicians can't do that. You can't try to be more white, you know. You don't see white politicians listening to Lawrence Welk, square dancing, eating Wonder Bread sandwiches, you know, hanging out with Michael Jackson, trying to be more white." --Jay Leno


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Wonder Bread sandwiches/hanging out with Michael Jackson/Can you call in horny?



"Have you seen New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson? He supported Barack. He's now got a mustache and a goatee. Analysts say he's trying to look more Hispanic, more ethnic. They say that's one of the reasons that Obama joined the Trinity Church with the radical minister, tried to appear more black. See, white politicians can't do that. You can't try to be more white, you know. You don't see white politicians listening to Lawrence Welk, square dancing, eating Wonder Bread sandwiches, you know, hanging out with Michael Jackson, trying to be more white." --Jay Leno 

"I love this story. I saw it in the paper today. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer will explore whether he has an addiction to sex. Oh, shut up. Is sex really an addiction? Is it a disease? Do you think it's a disease? Huh? I mean, I've heard people call into work sick. Can you call in horny?" --Jay Leno