"Screw you! I've been sick!" (Frozen)

A lion walks up to a zebra and says,

"Hey zebra! You are a ridiculous looking animal!

You're black, you're white, you're half mule

and half donkey.

Look at me. I'm lean and I'm mean.

I'm King of the Jungle!"

The zebra shrugs off the insult and walks on...

The lion then comes upon a giraffe and says,

"Hey, giraffe! You are a ridiculous looking animal!

You gotta long neck and tiny antlers on the top

of your head!

Look at me. I'm lean and I'm mean.

I'm King of the Jungle!"

Finally, the lion comes upon a frog and says,

"Hey, frog! You are a ridiculous looking animal!

You're green and you're slimy.."

Before the lion could finish his next sentence

the frog says,

"Screw you! I've been sick!"

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The problem with capitalism is... (slang for charisma)

First Lady Jill Biden unveiled a new ice rink near the White House setting the stage for next week’s headline, ‘President Shatters Pelvis On Ice Rink.’ —Colin Jost

Disney announced that they’ll be making two more sequels to Frozen, but by the time they come out, the only thing frozen will be Elsa’s eggs. —Colin Jost

Miriam-Webster announced that one of the site’s most looked up words of 2023 was rizz, which is slang for charisma. But if you have to look it up, well b*tch you ain’t got it. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I guess if I had a combover like that, I wouldn’t like windmills either? (Nobel prize for volleyball)

January 2023

“Donald Trump is out there campaigning for president, with stops for his 2024 bid in New Hampshire and South Carolina over the weekend. Trump ranted about the threat of windmills, and mimed knocking one over. He’s literally Don Quixote. It’s not even a metaphor any more. He’s battling windmills. I mean, I guess if I had a combover like that, I wouldn’t like windmills either? But it’s too much.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Here on The Late Show we openly refuse to heed the advice of a Huff Post headline that read ‘it’s time to stop talking about George Santos.’ Wrong, because the hits just keep on coming, as a new report found that several of Santos’s campaign donors appear to not exist. Victoria and Jonathan Regor, for example, could not be located anywhere in the US, and their listed address in New Jersey doesn’t exist. So bad news, he might have committed fraud. The good news, one less place that exists in New Jersey.” —Stephen Colbert

“George Santos’s spotlight-courting in DC, where he was spotted at a karaoke bar last week. Santos declined to sing but reportedly said his preferred karaoke song was I Will Survive. That is of course the disco classic, recorded in 1978 by George Santos. But if you do want to hear George Santos sing his lying heart out, you are in luck, as reporters have found what appears to be Santos’s old account on the singing app Smule, which includes his renditions of Hallelujah, the Pitch Perfect song Cups and Frozen’s Let It Go. According to Santos, those recordings earned him a Tony, a Grammy, a Purple Heart and the Nobel prize for volleyball.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They said it's all part of their plan to sell zero magazines (And I don't own a cape)

"Yesterday at a campaign fundraiser, Hillary Clinton criticized Vice President Cheney and called him 'Darth Vader.' Cheney denied it and said, 'Darth Vader is evil, half-machine and always wears a cape. And I don't own a cape.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Radar magazine is causing a big controversy because the cover of their November issue features a doctored photo of a partially dressed Rudy Giuliani and a totally nude Hillary Clinton. Radar says it's all part of their plan to sell zero magazines." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview. He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France say their president acted rudely, and they've never been prouder." --Conan O'Brien

"Among the top Google searches of 2014 were Ebola and the movie 'Frozen.' One leaves you with something highly infectious that's impossible to get out of your system. The other is Ebola." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

There hasn't been so much security at The Gap since the time Lindsey Lohan showed up (Couldn’t get any douchier?)

March 2014

"Today President Obama went shopping at The Gap. There hasn't been so much security at The Gap since the time Lindsey Lohan showed up." –David Letterman

"Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are back together. Finally, Obama makes good on a campaign promise." –David Letterman

"A right wing pastor is saying that the movie "Frozen" will turn kids gay. He also warned that the movie '300' will turn right wing pastors gay." –Conan O’Brien

"President Obama recently sent the Prime Minister of Canada two cases of White House-brewed beer after losing a bet. Obama bet him that Justin Bieber couldn’t get any douchier." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Let me help you with your co-pay (Kids hate this movie)

December 2013

"One of the biggest movies to come out this weekend was the Disney movie, 'Frozen,' which is an animated film about the Obamacare website. Kids hate this movie. An hour and a half of characters trying to fix the website." –Conan O'Brien

"In Nevada, where prostitution is legal – true story – prostitutes are signing up for Obamacare. Which explains why the most popular pick-up line in Nevada is, 'Let me help you with your co-pay.'" –Conan O'Brien

"This week, fast-food workers in 100 American cities are going on strike, a true story. The workers behind the counter want higher wages and better conditions. The drive-thru workers? No one can understand what they want. What? What did you say?" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m just sad to see another black man being brought down (It’s not us this time! Suck it, Canada!)

At least three images of Canada’s prime minister, Justin Trudeau, wearing blackface at parties 20 years ago have been found.

“Trudeau came out to apologize for one blackface and ended up admitting to more. He’s like: ‘I did brown face for “Aladdin” and I did blackface when I sang the song “Day-O.” And now if you’ll excuse me, daylight’s coming and me wan’ go home.’” —Trevor Noah

“With the Canadian election just one month away, many are wondering if this blackface scandal is going to hurt Trudeau’s chances of being re-elected. And to be honest, I’m just sad to see another black man being brought down.” —Trevor Noah

“This is pretty bad and I just want to say: It’s not us this time! Suck it, Canada!” —Stephen Colbert

“I’m not going to show you the picture because it’s really bad. It’s so bad that Canadians traveling in Europe are going to start telling people they’re American.” —Seth Meyers

“As a result, Trudeau has been dropped from the cast of ‘Saturday Night Live.’” —Conan O’Brien

"He didn’t need the brown face to make the costume work — he’s in a full Aladdin outfit at an Arabian Nights-themed party. Nobody was gonna see him and be like ‘Huh, white skin — are you the snowman from ‘Frozen?’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the news left them shaken but not stirred

"During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.' Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Among the top Google searches of 2014 were Ebola and the movie 'Frozen.' One leaves you with something highly infectious that's impossible to get out of your system. The other is Ebola." –Conan O'Brien



"The hackers who hacked into Sony have leaked the upcoming script for the new James Bond movie. Some of the executives said the news left them shaken but not stirred." –Conan O'Brien