we're referring to her skills as a gardener (beating out their usual choice, the dentist)

Jasmine Crockett claimed her Hot Wheels remark about Texas Governor Greg Abbott wasn't about his wheelchair. Yeah, and when we call her a lousy hoe we're referring to her skills as a gardener. —Greg Gutfeld

The British media are claiming that JD Vance is the most dangerous man in the world, beating out their usual choice, the dentist. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And really, who loves foreigners more than Dick Cheney? (You know what that means?)

"Mitt Romney said that the 47 percent of people who don't pay taxes are going to vote for Obama. You know what that means? He's going to vote for Obama." –Jay Leno

"You know, they used to say a recession was when your neighbor lost his job, and a depression was when you lost your job. You probably heard this, right? See, now, a recession is when Wall Street guys get bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it." --Jay Leno

"Oh, hey, and the University of Wyoming will open the new Dick Cheney Center for International Students. And really, who loves foreigners more than Dick Cheney?" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's that guy you went to high school with who desperately wanted to be prom king but didn’t have any charisma (Dummy Mini-Mes)

September 2022

“One of the worst things about Donald Trump are all his dummy mini-me’s. All these elastic pants governors who are pulling their own little stunts to excite the stupid, such as DeSantis sending two planes of migrant families to Martha’s Vineyard. This is a thing they’re doing now. Guys like Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott from Texas are using taxpayer money to ship these poor people looking for a better life to places around the United States and then they laugh about it. They think it’s funny.

Abbott sent a bus full of immigrants to Kamala Harris’s house in Washington, while DeSantis tried to get a rise out of residents in Massachusetts. Which is interesting, because you know what the people of Martha’s Vineyard did when a plane full of people showed up? They fed them, they gave them clothes, they bought them pizza, they took them in.

I guess Ron DeSantis doesn’t know about the Statue of Liberty. Ron DeSantis is that guy you went to high school with who desperately wanted to be prom king but didn’t have any charisma, so instead he pulled the fire alarm and ruined the dance for everybody.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When the people lead, the leaders will follow (which is not true, I also drink)

November 2021

A new report shows that the fastest growing form of electronic vehicles is the E-bike, which is particularly popular in cities. At this point experts believe the only thing that could slow these bikes down are car doors. —Michael Che

Environmentalists are warning visitors to the Canary Islands that having sex on the sand dunes is causing them to erode faster. In addition, they’re also making them super clumpy. —Michael Che

An 83 year old man has become the oldest person ever to hike the Appalachian Trail. The man dedicated this walk to his wife, who died a few miles back. —Michael Che

Senator Josh Hawley said in a speech after years of being told their manhood is a problem, men are turning to pornography and video games, which is not true. I also drink. —Michael Che

A judge rules that Texas governor Greg Abbott’s executive order, banning mask mandates in school violated the Americans with Disabilities Act. Because in Texas, you have to treat the disabled with care and respect, until the day you execute them. —Michael Che

It was announced that New York City Santacon which was canceled last year, will return this December. So the answer is nothing. The pandemic taught us nothing. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show (Do Florida next!)

June 2021

“Juneteenth became a national holiday with President Biden’s signature on Thursday. And long overdue. Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day the last group of enslaved people in America learned about the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation that had taken place two and a half years earlier. Then, it only took 156 more years until the idea finally reached Washington that maybe we should celebrate this. My understanding is that they’re giving it the full holiday treatment — a day off, community gatherings, and, one assumes, 50 percent off all Tempur-Pedic California Kings.” —Stephen Colbert

“There was a big announcement from Texas-governor-and-man-breathing-easier-thanks-to-Allegra Greg Abbott. Abbott says he’s going to solicit donations from the public to fund the construction of Texas’ border wall. Hear me out — it’s about time. Somebody’s got to keep those Texans out of the U.S. Do Florida next!” —Stephen Colbert

“Abbott was clear on wanting money and wanting wall, but the other details were pretty fuzzy. As one reporter put it, ‘He says Texans can donate their private land and money to the project, but he can’t say what the project will look like, how many miles will be built or where it will be built.’ So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s right, Texas is building a wall, and New Mexico’s going to pay for it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Maybe the wall is to keep Ted Cruz from fleeing to Mexico the next time there’s an emergency.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“OK, so, one state can do its own foreign policy? It reminds me of that famous headline after Pearl Harbor: ‘Delaware Declares Dela-war.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”