A lot of people say, ‘I’ll pay taxes over my dead body,’ but Trump means it. (Lick It Or Ticket)

August 2022

“You have to marvel at the pettiness of Donald Trump, who last month had his ex-wife Ivana Trump buried near the first hole of Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey, probably for a tax break. The strange burial site would exempt the golf course from New Jersey’s tax code, which does not tax land used as a cemetery. Wow. A lot of people say, ‘I’ll pay taxes over my dead body,’ but Trump means it. Over someone else’s body.” —Trevor Noah

“Even for him, this feels like a step too far. I don’t care what anyone says. I wouldn’t even laugh at that as a joke. If someone said to me, ‘Donald Trump’s ex-wife died, he’s probably going to bury her on his golf course to save on taxes,’ I’d be like, ‘yo, that’s not cool, man.’ But it turns out Trump was like, ‘wait wait, say more. I’m going to send this to my accountant, keep going.’” —Trevor Noah

“What this really shows you is how strange the tax system can be. All this tax break does is incentivize you to be a weirdo. Who came up with this? It almost feels like the law was written by a serial killer – ‘there should be a law, that if you bury a body in your yard, you don’t have to pay taxes any more.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We’re going to elect this can of beans to Congress! (this is pretty embarrassing)

July 2020

“The Trump administration’s ‘beanpocalypse’, was kicked off by Ivanka Trump after she posted a highly meme-able photo of herself holding a can of Goya beans with the caption ‘if it’s Goya, it has to be good’ in English and Spanish. The tweet declaring loyalty to Goya follows online uproar after the company’s CEO praised the president during a White House conference, and potentially broke ethics laws on the president’s daughter promoting any product, business or enterprise. OK, that news is shocking – there are still ethics laws?” Even worse, Trump followed up with a Goya photo of his own at his desk in the White House. I mean, I’m glad the president is using his desk for probably the first time in months, but come on guys – you’ve got to admit, this is pretty embarrassing. The dude doesn’t look like a president, he looks like a local athlete who retired 15 years ago and is desperate for money. Seriously, this shit looks like the end of The Shining if the movie was sponsored by bodegas.” —Trevor Noah

“And it’s crazy how everything has become politicized these days, even beans! Liberals are out there saying, ‘Boycott the beans,’ and the Trump fans are like, ‘We’re going to elect this can of beans to Congress!’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump Granddaughter and Casino (math, science, and penalty kicks)

July 2011

"Donald Trump has a new grandchild. Today, he demanded to see its birth certificate." –David Letterman

"Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka gave birth to a baby girl. The baby's name is 'Trump Granddaughter and Casino.'" –Conan O'Brien

"It was so hot in Washington that Congress had to install a fan on the debt ceiling." –Craig Ferguson

"The United States' soccer team lost to Japan, which means we're now losing to Japan in math, science, and penalty kicks." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She says she'll go to the Super Bowl if actual bears are playing in it (No, really, your money is no good)

"New Speaker of the House John Boehner chose not to attend the dinner for Chinese President Hu. In China, they're calling him an orange chicken." –Jimmy Fallon

"Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'" –Jay Leno

"The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello." –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama says he'll go to the Super Bowl if the Chicago Bears are playing in it. Sarah Palin says she'll go to the Super Bowl if actual bears are playing in it." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Now I'm really embarrassed to be a republican (You leave Melania out of this)

According to The Daily Beast, since they started dating, friends of Donald Trump Jr. and former Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle have started referring to the couple as “Donberly,” which is a shortened version of "When I look at those two, I can keep my food down barely." --Seth Meyers

In response to President Trump's all-caps post threatening Iran, the Iranian foreign minister tweeted, "We've been around for millennia and seen fall of empires, including our own, which lasted more than the life of some countries." Replied Trump, "You leave Melania out of this." --Seth Meyers

Ivanka Trump announced today that she is closing her fashion brand, and look, I know it's tempting to make jokes, but please, thousands of kids are out of a job. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the space where her heart should be is a hollow plastic shell (Science Barbie)

Now, people are blaming Facebook for this because they handed over all your data willingly. It's less like they're a bank that got robbed at gunpoint and more like a bank that just gave bank robbers your money because that's their business model. But now you can't quit the bank because your whole family is at the bank and, also, the bank is where you get to see if your high school friends got fat. --Stephen Colbert

First daughter Ivanka visited Iowa yesterday, where she visited a science facility to promote the president's infrastructure proposal. Ivanka has been getting some heat for tweeting a picture of herself dressed like Science Barbie. Just like a real Barbie, she has no scientific credentials, and the space where her heart should be is a hollow plastic shell. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

To the 19th century, and step on it (water hazards)

According to Ivana Trump’s new book, President Trump once left his son Donald Trump Jr. stranded on a tarmac after he was five minutes late for a flight. Even worse, Eric’s been in an overhead bin for the last two years. –Seth Meyers

This weekend five former [presidents] teamed up at a benefit to raise money for hurricane relief. President Trump couldn’t be there to help the victims of flooding because — and this is true — he was working on his own water hazards. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans