Sunday, July 29, 2018

Top Ten Signs Your Kid is in Al Qaeda (Pooja Fallujah)

David Letterman's Top Ten Signs Your Kid is in Al Qaeda

10. His name, Mike Jenkins, now goes by Mike Bin Jenkins.
9. Runs inside for cover whenever a satellite flies overhead.
8. His chemistry tutor? Chemical Ali.
7. If he doesn't like what's for dinner, he throws a shoe at you.
6. On invitation to his birthday party, he wrote "No Kurds."
5. Hides in his room and communicates through randomly-released audiotaped messages.
4. Yearbook declares him "Most likely to defeat the American jackals in the name of Allah."
3. Asks to go to sleepaway camp in Peshawar, Pakistan.
2. Happiest day of his life: when Ayman Al Zawahiri showed up at his Bar Mitzvah.
1. Instead of Hannah Montana, he has a crush on Pooja Fallujah. “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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