I guess those brain surgeons weren't exactly rocket scientists (the new kidney that you wanted)

This is already making a little bit of controversy. Jason Chaffetz says poor people need to choose between healthcare or a new iPhone. And just like a Samsung Galaxy 7, that comment blew up in his face. Did I hear him correctly? Is he saying health insurance costs the same as a phone? Hey Jason, a phone isn’t supposed to literally cost you an arm and a leg. His comment was cold. Even Siri was like, “Are you not a human being?” But the real problem is he’s talking to the American people like he’s talking to his own kids. “Well, maybe if you mowed lawns over the summer like I told you, you could afford that new kidney that you wanted.” –James Corden

Some hospital workers in Kenya have been suspended after doctors performed brain surgery on the wrong patient. I guess those brain surgeons weren't exactly rocket scientists. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

today she is denying that she used human growth hormone (I don't want to play with you anymore)

 

"How about this? Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary last night, huh? It was a surprising victory and today she is denying that she used human growth hormone." –David Letterman

"Rod Blagojevich is going away for 14 Years in prison. His barber got the death penalty." –David Letterman

 

"Condoleezza Rice was in Rome and she visited the Vatican and all the priests were very happy to see her. And everybody kept asking her 'What's it like to be celibate?'" –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like buying Jurassic Park after the power went down and the cages are open (the key to the deodorant shelf)

April 2022

“After initially being denied, Elon Musk reached a deal to buy Twitter on Monday for roughly $44 billion. That’s right, people. Twitter said it would never sell to Elon Musk, and then he produced the cash and they’re like, ‘All right, we’ll sell.’ Yeah, I guess they found that edit button after all.” —Trevor Noah

“I honestly don’t know why Elon would want to own Twitter, all right? It just doesn’t feel like a fun place to supervise. It’s like buying Jurassic Park after the power went down and the cages are open.” —Trevor Noah

“So you see, by buying Twitter, Elon Music gets to own one of the most culturally influential publishing platforms in the world. I mean, remember this; think about it: Twitter is how the Arab Spring took off, all right? Black Lives Matter blew up on Twitter, the Me Too movement started on Twitter, Trump used Twitter to turn himself from a reality show joke into the 45th president of the United States and a joke. So owning Twitter gives you more power than the drugstore employee with the key to the deodorant shelf.” —Trevor Noah

“Yeah, everything that happens on Twitter from now on is up to him — and also whatever strain his weed guy gives him that day. I’m just saying: He gets the wrong Sativa, there could be a race war, people; prepare yourselves.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

appropriate snack for the #MeToo era (they seat me next to a crying baby)

President Trump today criticized the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, tweeting, quote, "Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington." Meanwhile, eighth-grader Jessica tweeted, "It is time to come together on bipartisan immigration reform." --Seth Meyers

President Trump and Melania traveled to Cincinnati today. Said Melania, "Of COURSE, they seat me next to a crying baby." --Seth Meyers

Doritos is reportedly looking into launching a so-called lady-friendly chip that doesn’t crunch as loudly. Because there’s no more appropriate snack for the #MeToo era than a chip that tells women to be quiet. --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

NASA didn’t even start looking for new planets until after Donald Trump was elected president? (Me Too)

Astronomers have discovered a previously unknown planet only 11 light years from Earth that could possibly support human life. They call it Ross 128-b. Which sounds like a “Friends” spinoff where David Schwimmer is divorced from Rachel and forced to live alone in a sad apartment. –Jimmy Kimmel

But it’s not, it’s a planet. It might have water, which would make it possible to sustain life. As far as they know, Donald Trump is not president there. Do you know NASA didn’t even start looking for new planets until after Donald Trump was elected president? –Jimmy Kimmel

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

A Girl's Garden of Verses for 2017 (demoted him to “Eric”)

Trump said that he asked Putin if he meddled in our election, and Putin denied it. Is Trump the guy who should be leading that investigation? That’s like telling Kevin Spacey to keep an eye on Roy Moore. –Jimmy Fallon

It came out that Donald Trump Jr. was in direct contact with WikiLeaks during last year’s election. You can tell Don Jr.’s in trouble, cuz his dad just demoted him to “Eric.” –Jimmy Fallon

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Bush is looking forward to breaking the record and getting that congratulatory call from himself (vacation days)

Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee, on Bush being on the verge of breaking Ronald Reagan's record number of vacation days: 

"People said that Reagan's 436 would stand forever, but right now this president stands on 423, meaning his record should fall less than two weeks from today. And they said it shouldn't be done. 

And keep in mind, Reagan had a ranch in beautiful Santa Barbara. Bush has spent his time chasing the record in Crawford, Texas, which, by all objective accounts, is a genuine scorched s---thole. 

And don't forget Bush is a war president. The '80s? If Bush had been president then, he might not have even come in at all. When the waters from Katrina began to rise, it would have been easy to rush back to Washington. This president stuck it out for two more vacation days. What do you call that? Dedication. 

Obviously, I wouldn't say Bush is 'actively' pursuing it, but he's aware of it and looking forward to breaking the record and getting that congratulatory call from himself."

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The ABC's of Respecting Women (Baby's First Pepper Spray)

     

"So obviously, the president has a better idea [on screen: Bush saying, 'I believe the best approach is to put more power in the hands of individuals. By empowering people and their doctors...']. Okay, I'm just going to stop him right there. I think I figured out the disconnect here. I think I figured out the problem. 'Empowering people and their doctors.' See, he thinks the uninsured have doctors." --Jon Stewart

    

"For the past month, everyone's been talking about the feud between Kanye West and 50 Cent. Who would win their album sales war? Well, nation, after releasing their albums on the same day, the numbers are in. Kanye's album 'Graduation' sold 957,000 copies, while 50's 'Curtis' only sold 691,000. Now I have disagreed with Kanye in the past, but he sold more albums, so the market has spoken -- George Bush doesn't care about black people." --Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

If I Cut Your Taxes, Will You Forget About My Treason Act (Me Too)

According to reports, President Trump wanted to call the upcoming Republican tax bill the “Cut Cut Cut Act.” Which is a terrible name, but it is a lot shorter than calling it the “If I Cut Your Taxes, Will You Forget About My Treason Act.” –Seth Meyers

Trump wanted to call the upcoming Republican tax bill the “Cut Cut Cut Act.” Terrible name, but I will say every time he’s on TV, I have this fantasy that a director will walk in and go “cut, cut, cut… OK, that’s a wrap on this presidency.” –Seth Meyers

The Senate heard testimony today from President Trump’s pick to be the new head of NASA, who does not have a significant background in science. Great, that’s what you wanna hear. “That guy’s head of NASA, but he’s no rocket scientist.” –Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Bush was going to step on a rake but he was saving that for the French (Me Too)

"President Bush has embarrassed himself and the nation in Australia today. I don't know if you know this, he was at the APEC convention ... he said it was OPEC. Then he referred to the Australians as the Austrians, and then he almost walked off the edge of the stage and killed himself. He was going to step on a rake and have it hit him on the head, but he was saving that for the French, he said." --Bill Maher

"Yesterday in Australia, a TV comedian dressed himself up over there as Osama Bin Laden and got within feet of Bush's hotel. They got him, and the Bush spokesman said it was obviously not the real Bin Laden because they caught him." --Bill Maher

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans