No thanks commie! That belongs to my boss (They put extra duct tape on the doors just to be safe)

“The first-ever manned flight of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft launched today after multiple delays, with a pair of NASA astronauts onboard. Boeing seems to have trouble getting to Cincinnati. I don’t know, should they be going — should they be heading into space? I don’t know. They put extra duct tape on the doors just to be safe.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Imagine being surrounded by bags of urine and then hearing ‘Don’t worry, there’s a Boeing on the way to help.’” — Jimmy Fallon, on the Starliner delivering a new urine processing pump to the space station to replace a broken one

“Seriously, you thought it was rough when you forgot to change the filter on your Brita.” — Jimmy Fallon

“I’ll tell you, that definitely isn’t on the list of activities at space camp.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“I had no idea being an astronaut was so glamorous.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What do you say everybody, should we try it again? (your big brag is that you share a skill with a muppet)

January 2003

“The GOP chaos in the House of Representatives was pretty fun to watch. Kevin McCarthy and the GOP were full of bravado about how they would seize the gavel as a show of Republican power and confront Joe Biden and the Democrats. Instead, we got this split screen: feuding Republicans in utter chaos on the House floor while Joe Biden was eating peach cobbler at a barbecue joint in Cincinnati. While Biden’s chowing down on cobbler, Republicans are melting down before our eyes and proving to our nation they just can’t be trusted to govern. McCarthy ultimately lost 11 straight votes as of Thursday evening. And the crazy thing is, because nothing else can happen until a speaker is elected, McCarthy just has to sit there losing votes over and over. It’s like getting all the way up to the altar and then your fiance says ‘I don’t’, and instead of going home the priest says ‘what do you say everybody, should we try it again?’” —Seth Meyers

“After four days of drama, a far-right inter-Republican rebellion and 15 votes, Kevin McCarthy was finally elected speaker of the House at 12.29am on Saturday morning. Generally speaking, that is not the sign of a healthy democracy. Nothing good happens after midnight on a Friday. If you’re that old and you’re up after midnight, you’re probably drunk and buying something real dumb off QVC.” —Seth Meyers

“Oh? Can you? Because the only person in that chamber that I trust to count is this lady, the House clerk, Cheryl Johnson, who presided over all 15 votes. It’s not exactly confidence-inspiring when you’re trying to become second in line to the presidency and your big brag is that you share a skill with a muppet.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

appropriate snack for the #MeToo era (they seat me next to a crying baby)

President Trump today criticized the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, tweeting, quote, "Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington." Meanwhile, eighth-grader Jessica tweeted, "It is time to come together on bipartisan immigration reform." --Seth Meyers

President Trump and Melania traveled to Cincinnati today. Said Melania, "Of COURSE, they seat me next to a crying baby." --Seth Meyers

Doritos is reportedly looking into launching a so-called lady-friendly chip that doesn’t crunch as loudly. Because there’s no more appropriate snack for the #MeToo era than a chip that tells women to be quiet. --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

which is how I got hooked on tainted beef (Warm Welcome)

"Big news out of Cincinnati. And for the first time in modern memory it is not about Nick Lachey. No, this time it's about John McCain. Oh, I hate him so much! I've always hated him going all the way back to when Rush Limbaugh told me to hate him. Now McCain briefly won me over when he was attacked in the New York Times last week. I am irresistibly drawn to anything the New York Times attacks, which is how I got hooked on tainted beef." --Stephen Colbert

"But the lovefest between me and McCain was short lived because of something that happened at his rally yesterday. Conservative Cincinnati radio host Bill Cunningham warmed up the crowd with a couple of tasteful zingers about Barack Obama. But the Bill Cunningham wit-nado was just touching down [on screen: Cunningham saying, 'Barack Hussein Obama' three times]. Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein. Obama was teed up for McCain like a golf ball with a turban. 

And then what does McCain come out and do? [on screen: McCain saying, 'Whatever suggestion was made that was in any way disparaging to the integrity, character, honesty of either Senator Obama or Senator Clinton was wrong, and I condemn it']. Senator, at long last, have you no balls? I don't know what to say here. Cunningham pointed out that your opponent's middle name was Hussein. Your next logical political move is to point out that his daughter's names are Uday and Qusay. Isn't that correct?" --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html