today she is denying that she used human growth hormone (I don't want to play with you anymore)

 

"How about this? Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary last night, huh? It was a surprising victory and today she is denying that she used human growth hormone." –David Letterman

"Rod Blagojevich is going away for 14 Years in prison. His barber got the death penalty." –David Letterman

 

"Condoleezza Rice was in Rome and she visited the Vatican and all the priests were very happy to see her. And everybody kept asking her 'What's it like to be celibate?'" –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: Bush said the leader he's most looking forward to meeting - the Lion King

"And President Bush is now in Africa, where he's meeting with several of Africa's top leaders. See, again, I don't think President Bush is that familiar with Africa. Like, today, he said the leader he's most looking forward to meeting - the Lion King." --Jay Leno

"And the Pentagon is now planning to shoot down a broken satellite that's falling to Earth. The satellite is the size of a school bus, and they want to blow it up before it hits us. Yeah. In fact the actual plan, they're going to have Roger Clemens throw a second school bus at it." --Jay Leno

"As you know, HGH is not illegal, but Congress is deeply opposed to human growth hormones because they remember what it did to Janet Reno." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Romney has already gone back to playing Trevor St. John on One Life To Live

"Congress is holding hearings on baseball and steroids. Congress is committed to removing performance-enhancing drugs from baseball. You know, I got a better idea. Why don't we get performance-enhancing drugs out of baseball and give them to Congress? What is their approval rate? 13%? Maybe it would help." --Jay Leno

"President Bush says if John McCain is the Republican nominee, he will campaign for him. Well, you can't do better than that." --David Letterman

"How about Mitt Romney, you know, he resigned. He dropped out of the campaign. He put it on hold. He suspended his campaign, that is the word, he suspended his campaign. A lot of you folks are worried about Mitt. Don't worry about Mitt. He has already gone back to playing Trevor St. John on 'One Life To Live.'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: U.S. Constitution? I'm sure I saw that in here somewhere

"Roger Clemens denied before Congress that he was ever injected with steroids or human growth hormones. Then he gave himself away when he asked for a pillow to sit on during the rest of his testimony." --Jay Leno

"How about the presidential race? Hillary Clinton is trailing Barack Obama. Indications are she getting a little nervous, maybe a little desperate. Earlier today, she showed up wearing a painted-on pantsuit." --David Letterman

"Have you been watching the Roger Clemens congressional hearings? He denies being injected by his trainer. But what I thought was interesting was every time they mentioned 'buttocks,' Sen. Larry Craig swooned." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: when it comes to providing smart politicians, Texas is the place you want to be

"Actually they say the race between Barack and Hillary could be decided by the voters of Texas. Texas! Which is a comfort -- when it comes to providing smart politicians, Texas is the place you want to be." --Jay Leno

"Senator John McCain did very well. He swept as well. He won all his primaries. Of course the big question with McCain is his age. I don't want to say he's old, but I understand his new campaign slogan is, 'Why did I come in here for again?'" --Jay Leno

"It went from bad to worse today for Roger Clemens. Did you see the hearings? Did you see what happened today? Today before Congress, Amy Winehouse testified that she shot up with him." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag

"This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Roger Clemens testified before Congress about his alleged use of steroids and human growth hormone. There was an awkward moment when Clemens leaned on the table and it shattered." --Conan O'Brien

"Not a good night for Hillary Clinton. She got the pantsuit beaten off of her." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama is now considered the front-runner. You know what they say, behind every successful man is a woman. Hillary was surprised to find out that it was her." --Jay Leno

"As you know, Barack has won the last eight primaries. I haven't seen Hillary this worried since they opened a Hooters in Chappaqua." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Bush showed up today wearing a 10-gallon yarmulke (taking $20 million from Ron Perelman)

"President George Bush is in Israel right now. But he doesn't really fit there. He showed up today wearing a 10-gallon yarmulke." --David Letterman

"When you take George Bush out of his own environment, when you take him out of his own culture, like in Israel for example, he makes mistakes. Earlier today, he was speaking at a group of people in Jerusalem and he finished up by saying, 'I am Jewish guy.' There's no getting around it, George Bush is confused. He thinks a Jewish settlement is Ellen Barkin taking $20 million from Ron Perelman." --David Letterman

"How about this? Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary last night, huh? It was a surprising victory and today she is denying that she used human growth hormone." --David Letterman

Hillary Clinton is denying that she used HGH (10-gallon yarmulke)

"President George Bush is in Israel right now. But he doesn't really fit there. He showed up today wearing a 10-gallon yarmulke." --David Letterman

"When you take George Bush out of his own environment, when you take him out of his own culture, like in Israel for example, he makes mistakes. Earlier today, he was speaking at a group of people in Jerusalem and he finished up by saying, 'I am Jewish guy.' There's no getting around it, George Bush is confused. He thinks a Jewish settlement is Ellen Barkin taking $20 million from Ron Perelman." --David Letterman

"How about this? Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary last night, huh? It was a surprising victory and today she is denying that she used human growth hormone." --David Letterman