they did not expect them to be the Katy Perry kind (the molly Trump took right before the meeting kicked in)

President Trump and Zohran Mamdani, the democratic socialist who was elected mayor of New York this month, have had harsh words for each other, but they surprised almost everyone by hitting it off in a White House meeting on Friday. Most people were expecting fireworks, but they did not expect them to be the Katy Perry kind. — Jimmy Kimmel

“Seriously, though, like, what the [expletive] is happening? Either Zohran charmed Trump into embracing democratic socialism and undercutting every scare tactic the right has weaponized against him for the past six months, or the molly Trump took right before the meeting kicked in.” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They’re not just taking our women, they’re taking our astronauts (Now, maybe you can not invade Portland)

“All 20 Israeli hostages are home after 738 days in captivity. Almost 2,000 Palestinian prisoners and detainees have been released. And while we are only in the first phase of what will undoubtedly be a long and tricky process, the fact is the bombing has stopped, the hostages have been released, and Trump deserves some of the praise for that. And so, I know it sounds crazy to say, but good work on that one, President Trump. Now, maybe you can not invade Portland. Just an idea. I mean, while you’re on a roll. ” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Photos emerged of Katy Perry making out with Justin Trudeau on a yacht. I’ve been wondering how Canada was going to exact their revenge for the tariffs, and this is it. They’re taking our women. They’re not just taking our women, they’re taking our astronauts.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Screw It, Have the Fudge (Be content with nothing less)

In Boston, experts believe they have found Paul Revere's outhouse

and they say they are excited to examine his fecal matter. These

experts have been described as "single." –Conan O’Brien

Weight Watchers announced it's changing its name. They've

changed their name to "Screw It, Have the Fudge." --Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's

national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that

crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, it's Epstein Files Not Released Day...Again (b*** plug night)

Geese have reportedly caused a popular beach in Finland to be covered in a shocking amount of poop. Define a shocking amount of poop said Biden’s night nurse. —Greg Gutfeld

Some pervert threw a green dildo on the court during a WNBA game. Fans were shocked because it was butt plug night. —Greg Gutfeld

American Eagle stock has gone way up since airing the Sydney Sweeney jeans commercial. Also up. Boners. —Greg Gutfeld

Singer Katy Perry was spotted on a date with Canada’s former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Who knew she was a lesbian? —Greg Gutfeld

In a recent poll, men struggled to name a masculine leader in the democratic party except Obama. Causing pollsters to ask, which one? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s why I love being single said Joe Biden (Luckily no one had to parallel park)

Today Blue Origins New Shepard rocket successfully completed its mission with an all female crew including Katy Perry, Lauren Sanchez and Gayle King. I think they took it literally when their husbands told them they needed space. But the crew and capsule returned safely via parachute. Luckily no one had to parallel park. — Tom Shillue

According to a new study marriage can actually increase your odds of getting dementia. That’s why I love being single said Joe Biden. — Tom Shillue

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." (Just in time for Lakers season)

California governor Jerry Brown signed a controversial new bill allowing assisted suicide. Yeah. Just in time for Lakers season. –Conan O’Brien

I'm a big fan of scientific advances in the field of medicine. Scientists announced they just developed a robotic caterpillar that can crawl inside you for medical procedures. And for an extra $50, for nonmedical procedures. --Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Silent protests have no place anywhere outside my marriage (I just hope the president of China likes leftover Pope food)

The president of China is going to be at the White House. I just hope the president of China likes leftover Pope food. –Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien

Now it is President Trump vs. the NFL. He took on the entire National Football League this weekend with his tweets. President Trump is angry at NFL players for their silent protests during the national anthem. Trump said, “Silent protests have no place anywhere outside my marriage.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's being hailed as a "breakthrough" for people who like to scare small children (Church Sign Supernova)

Scientists developed a robotic skin that can make stuffed animals appear to come to life. It's being hailed as a "breakthrough" for people who like to scare small children. --Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien

I'm a big fan of scientific advances in the field of medicine. Scientists announced they just developed a robotic caterpillar that can crawl inside you for medical procedures. And for an extra $50, for non-medical procedures. --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was like watching Schoolhouse Rock have a stroke (Cheeze-It, so good, you’ll murder your family)

Watching Trump try to explain the legal troubles of his declaring a National Emergency was like watching Schoolhouse Rock have a stroke. --Colin Jost, SNL

Katy Perry’s fashion line has discontinued a shoe after criticism that it resembled black face. I don’t know? It doesn’t even resemble a shoe. If anyone should be mad about this it’s Mrs. Potatohead. --Colin Jost, SNL

A man was arrested after he locked his mother and brother in a house then set fire to it after getting in an argument over a box of Cheez-Its. Which I blame on their slogan: “Cheeze-It, so good, you’ll murder your family.” --Colin Jost, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Singer Katy Perry got naked and told people to vote (our only available options)

But the good news is, while Trumps net worth may be down, his self-worth is at an all-time high. –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday was National Register to Vote Day. Singer Katy Perry got naked and told people to vote. The video got like 6 million views already. Hopefully it encouraged people to sign up. But here’s the thing: Anyone who needs Katy Perry to take her shirt off in order to register to vote should not be allowed to register to vote. –Jimmy Kimmel

It’s our responsibility as Americans to register to vote, to go to our local polling places, and make a choice between two people nobody can believe are our only available options. –Jimmy Kimmel

Jeb Bush's new Secret Service code name is “Geico.”

Things haven't been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he's not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don't want to say Jeb's run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is “Geico.” –Jimmy Fallon

Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, "Oh, I'm getting a new house soon." –Jimmy Fallon

Hillary went on an Instagram binge and followed a bunch of celebrities like Beyonce, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. When asked if Bill Clinton follows any women on Instagram, he was like, "All of them." –Jimmy Fallon

The Vatican has a national anthem

It's Yom Kippur today. Jews all over the country honored the day by staying home and watching the Pope on television. –Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien

It's a Smallpox World

"Hillary Clinton is weighing in on the measles outbreak. She tweeted: 'The Earth is round, the sky is blue, and vaccines work.' She didn't stop there. She also tweeted, 'Fire is hot, ice is cold, and the Seahawks should have handed the ball off to Marshawn Lynch.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"The CDC announced that there are currently 102 measles cases in the U.S. Some say it's because people aren't vaccinating their children. You can tell things are getting bad. Today Disneyland opened a new ride called 'It's a Smallpox World.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Remember that dancing shark from Katy Perry's Super Bowl halftime show? A guy in Colorado actually got a tattoo of the shark. That story again: Weed is still legal in Colorado." –Jimmy Fallon