Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? (Oh no, that’s right — it doesn’t exist)

I’m surprised Donald Trump could even see Marshawn Lynch sitting down in Mexico, through that big border wall he built. Oh no, that’s right — it doesn’t exist. –James Corden

Infighting continues within the Republican Party. On Saturday, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake was caught on mic when he made a remark, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” If? If you become the party of Donald Trump? He’s the president of the United States! That’s like the Catholic Church going, “Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? –James Corden

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Adolf, Osama, and the Time Warner customer service reps (his new roommates)

Last night Charles Manson died at the age of 83. Which means today he met his new roommates, Adolf, Osama, and the Time Warner customer service reps. –Jimmy Fallon

This weekend President Trump lashed out at NFL running back Marshawn Lynch after photos showed Lynch at a game in Mexico where he was standing during the Mexican national anthem, but sitting during the U.S. national anthem. By the way, “Marshawn Lynch stood for the Mexican anthem” is also the sentence that will start 70 percent of your Thanksgiving fights this year. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It's a Smallpox World

"Hillary Clinton is weighing in on the measles outbreak. She tweeted: 'The Earth is round, the sky is blue, and vaccines work.' She didn't stop there. She also tweeted, 'Fire is hot, ice is cold, and the Seahawks should have handed the ball off to Marshawn Lynch.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"The CDC announced that there are currently 102 measles cases in the U.S. Some say it's because people aren't vaccinating their children. You can tell things are getting bad. Today Disneyland opened a new ride called 'It's a Smallpox World.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Remember that dancing shark from Katy Perry's Super Bowl halftime show? A guy in Colorado actually got a tattoo of the shark. That story again: Weed is still legal in Colorado." –Jimmy Fallon



Brady says the truck handles great..

"An amazing Super Bowl last evening. The New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks both defeated the Seattle Seahawks." –Seth Meyers



"It really was an incredible game. And even though the Patriots won, you really have to hand it to Marshawn Lynch. Don't think about it. Just hand it to Marshawn Lynch." –Seth Meyers



"Tom Brady was named Super Bowl MVP and was given a new Chevy truck. Brady says the truck handles great, especially after he let some air out of the tires." –Seth Meyers