Wow, that must mean large amounts are good for you (because she was always in the way)

A new study shows that consuming small amounts of alcohol were linked to dementia. “Wow, that must mean large amounts are good for you," said Kamala Harris. —Greg Gutfeld

A new report says Joe Biden's Secret Service had an obese female agent who failed fitness tests and moonlighted as a plus-size model. But staffers say she was the best at protecting Joe from a bullet because she was always in the way. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden likes his chances in 2028 (maybe you should try some lubricant)

Scientists say being more optimistic as we age could be an early sign of dementia. In a related story, Biden likes his chances in 2028. —Greg Gutfeld

Using your smartphone on the toilet is linked to a 46% higher risk of hemorrhoids. Jeez. If using your cell phone causes hemorrhoids, maybe you should try some lubricant.  —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's an auction, not an election (he was quieter than a Milli Vanilli reunion)

Tim Walz is charging taxpayers $430,000 in legal fees that went to help him prepare to testify before Congress. Yeah, he may not be able to define a woman, but he can sure spend like one. —Greg Gutfeld

So, Joe Biden's former doctor appeared before Congress this week, but when asked if he lied about the ex-president's decline, he was quieter than a Milli Vanilli reunion. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he doesn't think it'll make a difference in the election (the scent of confidence, beauty, and unstoppable determination)

Well, it's been about a year since Joe Biden's catastrophic debate performance, but he's in good spirits, saying he doesn't think it'll make a difference in the election. —Greg Gutfeld

President Trump announced he's selling a fragrance that has the scent of confidence, beauty, and unstoppable determination. It's a big change from the last administration's scent of choice, Fabreze. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he’s been diagnosed with stage 4 menstrual cramps (I'm not going anywhere)

As you know Joe Biden shared the news this week that he's been diagnosed with having stage 4 cancer. Not to be outdone, Tim Walz has announced he’s been diagnosed with stage 4 menstrual cramps. —Greg Gutfeld

Kamala Harris recently told a crowd in Orange County that, “I'm not going anywhere." That's because she was too drunk to drive. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Next you're going to tell us that Kamala likes a night cap before breakfast (Think I'll take two)

So yet another tale from the new book Original Sin. Apparently Joe Biden's campaign staff staged a fake town hall closed to the press with an audience of loyal supporters and a comfy chair for Joe that repelled stains. But apparently Biden was so incoherent the footage was as unusable as an ejector's seat on a helicopter. 

And so like Joe Biden's soul, the town hall never saw the light of day. It's the latest story from the tell all on Joe’s decline written by people who helped bury it like a cat turd in a litter box. But of course the media is acting like they're the dupes. 

This week the Washington Post editorial board actually published this headline quote "If Biden was too frail for his job voters should have been informed." Wow, if only there were a publication of some type that could execute that function. 

I mean they act like during the entire Biden presidency they were working at Papa John’s.  I don't know who's on that board but they should be grateful their families didn't pull the plug during their five-year coma. 

Talk about lazy journalists. They must rotate their editors to prevent bed sores. Here's a quote from the article. “It now seems Biden might have lacked the stamina and cognitive capacity the job demands and that his family and closest aids concealed this from the public. 

Their decision to put personal loyalties ahead of their duty to the country must be reckoned with.” Well thanks a lot Columbo. Next you're going to tell us that Kamala likes a night cap before breakfast. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior here at Kamala Harris Elementary School (the lowest political bar in history)

Administrators in Pennsylvania are investigating how a kindergartner was able to hand out Jello-shots to his classmates. The outraged principal saying, we don’t tolerate that kind of behavior here at Kamala Harris Elementary School. —Greg Gutfeld

The former FBI Director denied calling for the assassination of President Trump and claims he’s quote, just a grandfather who likes wearing sweaters, jeans and going for nice walks on the beach. Well somebody is auditioning for The Golden Bachelor! —Greg Gutfeld

So the Biden book ‘Original Sin’ is finally out and so are the reviews. According to Politico, it describes Biden as an “ailing, geriatric leader surrounded by mendacious aides”. While the Washington Post details an “elderly, egotistical president shielded from reality by a slavish coterie of loyalists.” So ‘ailing, mendacious, egotistical’ and that’s from media outlets that spent four years smooching Biden’s wrinkly ass. They were so far up his butt I’m surprised they didn’t diagnose the cancer. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was either that or listen to his music (debate prep)

So according to a new book during his debate prep Joe Biden's handlers had to remind him to close his mouth when he wasn't speaking. They also urged him to close it when it was. —Greg Gutfeld

During his trial we learned Shawn Diddy Combs allegedly had a prostitute pee on his girlfriend. She was given a choice. It was either that or listen to his music. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well that makes two of us (so they waved her through)

So on a recent podcast former White House press secretary Jen Psaki claims she didn't see any signs that Joe Biden was in mental decline and then said "But I'm not a doctor." "Well that makes two of us,” said Jill Biden. —Greg Gutfeld

Jasmine Crockett was accused of cutting in line to board a flight ahead of disabled people. But once they heard her speak it became clear she qualified so they waved her through. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s why I love being single said Joe Biden (Luckily no one had to parallel park)

Today Blue Origins New Shepard rocket successfully completed its mission with an all female crew including Katy Perry, Lauren Sanchez and Gayle King. I think they took it literally when their husbands told them they needed space. But the crew and capsule returned safely via parachute. Luckily no one had to parallel park. — Tom Shillue

According to a new study marriage can actually increase your odds of getting dementia. That’s why I love being single said Joe Biden. — Tom Shillue

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It could be on a network people watch (Speak and Spell)

Toward the end of his presidency Joe Biden was so demented he couldn’t debate a Speak and Spell, which is why they told him the Speak and Spell was the nuclear football. —Greg Gutfeld

Joe Scarboro covered up for Biden’s decline so badly that if he got within 200 feet of a polygraph machine it would burst into flames. But Scarboro couldn't afford to be honest with his audience because the Dems had a big bad orange man breathing down their necks, so he had to deny Biden's physical and mental decline which the whole world saw every day. He had to blurt out hostile fidgety bull**** or they wouldn't give him the pills that keep him from turning into a werewolf. Scarboro’s entire grift was so that he could be the last person MSNBC lays off. I mean it's not like his night job as a Beavis and Butthead impersonator would cover his monthly nut, but now in 2025 when he thinks it’s safe Scarboro has seen the light. The funny thing is if you had just told the truth when it mattered maybe the Dems would have had time to find a candidate who could actually win an election. But Scarboro didn’t tell the truth so now you have to lie about your lies. But hey, it could always be worse. Morning Joe could be on a network people watch. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This guy's skull is emptier than a theater showing Snow White (At least she had a pulse)

So who killed the legacy media? Well it turns out it was a mass suicide and Joe Biden was their Jim Jones. According to excerpts from an upcoming book obtained by The Guardian, Democratic officials were drawing up plans to replace Biden as early as January of 2023, in the event he no longer had the ability to run, and by that they mean dead.

In Fight: Inside the Wildest Battle for the White House, authors Jonathan Allen and Amie Parnes claim that aids to Kamala Harris quote, “strategized around the possibility that Biden might die in office” and apparently Kamala’s  Comm's director went so far as to write a death pool roster of federal judges who might swear her in if Biden indeed kicked the bucket. They also had a team of coroners standing by who could list Joe's time of death as something besides, who the F knows? It could have been anywhere from 2017 to 2011. Who's counting?

The authors also detail other instances of Joe falling apart. During the campaign at a donor's reception just days after the disastrous presidential debate, Biden aids put fluorescent tape on the carpet to show the president where to walk. It's similar to how Bill Clinton's team laid out a path using copies of Hustler magazine.

Biden was often tailed by staffers since he did have a tendency to you know wander off. I bet they likely had another team nearby ready to make a chalk outline. According to one veteran operative nobody was crazy about running Kamala for president either, but quote "At least she had a pulse." I know, talk about a low bar, where judging by her own behavior she pulled up a stool and started doing shots.

So at the same time that the White House and their mouthpieces like Joe Scarboro were telling the world Biden was more vigorous than ever, they were planning for his imminent demise. But you can't blame Scarboro for getting it wrong. He's had years of Mika saying he's the best she ever had. 

Of course the media seems shocked by this news, but shocking to whom? None of this is surprising to anyone who unlike Joe, had a brain. Not to pat our own backs but we've been telling you this all along. This guy's skull is emptier than a theater showing Snow White. 

And we were all smeared for speaking the truth that was clearly on display for years, and now these same jackasses are telling us that the Signal app story is a grave concern when they hid the fact that Biden was literally a concern for the grave. 

There has to be a penalty for this cover up. The scandal isn't that they elected a vegetable, it's that journalists knew it and refused to act like journalists even as the facts got worse, and that penalty should be a complete loss of credibility, not just now but forever. —Greg Gutfeld

 

If it's green smoke, Willie Nelson has somehow gotten into the Sistine Chapel (And here's the twist)




"Actually, when the voting is done to elect a new Pope, the cardinals burn their ballots. People wait outside the Sistine Chapel to see what color the smoke is. If it's white smoke, they've agreed on a Pope. If it's black smoke, no decision's been made. If it's green smoke, Willie Nelson has somehow gotten into the Sistine Chapel." –Craig Ferguson

"People sometimes forget that George Washington was very rich, had a pony tail, and grew hemp on his farm. He was America's original Willie Nelson." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Too Little, Too Late Act (You know what you did)

"That's right, 104 female lawmakers. In other words, there's going to be a lot of filibusters that go like this: ''You know what you did." –Jimmy Fallon

A Democratic congressman is introducing a bill that would force presidential candidates to take a mental health exam. It is called the "Too Little, Too Late Act."  --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if you’re spending that much time looking at old naked guys, there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget (a monopoly on truth)

Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children’s charities. The queen said, “I just realized I really hate kids.” –Conan O’Brien

According to a new study that just came out, older men who frequently use a sauna are less likely to develop dementia. Which is too bad, because if you’re spending that much time looking at old naked guys, there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out you have to do it before the election (Unlimited refills)

On Tuesday Robert Hur, the White House special counsel tasked with investigating Joe Biden’s handling of classified documents, found no evidence to charge the president with a crime. He did, however, attack Biden’s mental fitness in his report, calling him a “sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory”. That kind of assessment is sort of outside the normal job description of a special counsel. It’d be like your doctor saying, ‘Well, we ran some tests, Mr Johnson, and your cholesterol looks very good, but I am worried how ugly you are. I’m going to write you a prescription for bag over your head. Unlimited refills.’ —Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump and Joe Biden both traveled to Georgia this week to canvas for votes in the state’s primary. Of course, the last time Trump asked for votes in Georgia, he was indicted for it. Turns out you have to do it before the election. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The top theory so far being the guy yelling, AAAAAHHHHHHH! (Now, if he can only remember his ATM code)

Boeing announced that the head of their troubled 737 Max program is leaving the company after he was sucked out of an emergency exit. —Colin Jost

New York City police are trying to determine the owner of a human leg found abandoned on a Bronx subway track. The top theory so far being the guy yelling, AAAAAHHHHHHH! —Colin Jost

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos created through IVF are children and that black embryos can be tried as adults. —Colin Jost

It was reported that President Biden’s campaign ended its January fund-raising with $56 Million in the bank. Now, if he can only remember his ATM code. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which explains why this year’s most popular baby name is Funyuns (there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget)

Health officials say there’s a new trend of women using marijuana during their pregnancy. Which explains why this year’s most popular baby name is Funyuns. –Conan O’Brien

According to a new study that just came out, older men who frequently use a sauna are less likely to develop dementia. Which is too bad, because if you’re spending that much time looking at old naked guys, there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden is over the moon (for Gil) - poem by John Hulse

Biden is over the moon (for Gil)

The food I can afford

is barely keeping me alive

and Biden is over the moon

no baby formula on the shelves

and Biden is over the moon

The water in Flint still

tastes like hell

and Biden is over the moon

The air in the sky is

starting to smell

and Biden is over the moon

Nothing has fundamentally

changed

with Biden over the moon

Here’s 40 Billion more for Ukraine

and Biden is over the moon

no truth, no peace and no justice

and Biden is over the moon

The press pretends not to notice

that Biden is over the moon

Children in classrooms are being

gunned down

and Biden is over the moon

Nowhere to go but underground

while Biden is over the moon

The price of gas is going up,

corrupt politicians don’t give

a fuck,

and if all that shit wasn’t

enough

Biden is over the moon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”