Wednesday, February 24, 2016

he barely got 14 hours of sleep last night

We’re now a week away from the Super Tuesday primaries and Ben Carson’s so excited he barely got 14 hours of sleep last night. –Seth Meyers
At a rally in Las Vegas last night Donald Trump told supporters he’d like to punch protesters in the face. Though he looks more like the kind of guy who would stroke a white cat while somebody else punched you in the face. –Seth Meyers
Hillary Clinton recently visited the set of the hit ABC show “Scandal.” Is that really the show you should be visiting right now? Why not drop by the set of “I Did Nothing Wrong,” or maybe “There Was Nothing Illegal in Those Emails!” –Seth Meyers
Lego has announced that to “mirror the world we live in today” the company will be adding working mom, handicapped, and stay-at-home dad figurines. Just a side note, the handicapped Lego figurine became disabled after he stepped on a Lego barefoot. –Seth Meyers

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