Donald
Trump responded to criticism from Pope Francis today, and said the pontiff will
wish Trump was president "if and when" the Vatican is attacked by
ISIS. Though I think what he meant to say was, "That’s a nice Vatican you
got there. It would be a shame if somethin' was to happen to it." –Seth
Meyers
The
University of Texas has decided to allow students to carry guns in the
classroom. The school says it’s a guaranteed way to prevent the possibility of
a pop quiz. –Seth Meyers
A
Delta flight on Monday had to stay in the air for 30 hours due to weather
delays on the East Coast. Even worse, when one customer got off the plane, no
one had texted her. –Seth Meyers
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