Jeb can't go home because his father and brother will laugh at him

Recently released documents show that former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer donated $50,000 to Martin O’Malley’s presidential campaign. It’s not the first time Spitzer spent that much on something that only lasted an hour. -- Seth Meyers

According to a new report, Americans spent more money last year on legal marijuana than they did on Doritos and Cheetos combined. Or as pot smokers call that, “a salad.” -- Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush finished sixth behind Rand Paul who dropped out, but Jeb Bush is still running. He doesn't know what to do — if he loses he can't go home because his father and brother will laugh at him. –Jimmy Kimmel