Well, at least we know Mitch McConnell is safe (Lab Rats)

RFK Jr. has cut government ties with a Kentucky medical group that removed organs from victims that were still alive. Still alive? Huh? Well, at least we know Mitch McConnell is safe. –Greg Gutfeld 

A Florida steakhouse is inviting their customers to dine in the nude, meaning you now have more options when it comes to hair in your food. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She looked like such a deer in the headlights (help Supergirl pay her rent)

During a CNN interview, Dana Bash got into a wild shouting match with RFK Jr. She looked like such a deer in the headlights, RFK tried to eat her. —Greg Gutfeld

Over the weekend, the new Spider-Man movie made $355 million. Meanwhile, a GoFundMe was started to help Supergirl pay her rent. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

His signature dish is pan seared squirrel I ran over in my Lexus (Nancy Pelosi bought stock in Galoshes)

RFK Jr. is launching a new cooking show where he will prepare meals using the new dietary guidelines. It's called Where's my pet? His signature dish is pan seared squirrel I ran over in my Lexus. —Greg Gutfeld 

The explosive diarrhea parasite has now been detected in 45 states. In a totally unrelated story, Nancy Pelosi bought stock in Galoshes. —Greg Gutfeld 

Surveillance footage shows a mother in Georgia using a gas pump to thwart a gunman trying to abduct her child. I don't know who was crazier, the gunman or the woman willing to waste $4 gas. —Greg Gutfeld 

And finally, NASA has a powerful new telescope that's ready to launch. They plan to use it to look at faraway galaxies once they're done pointing it at Sydney Sweeney's bedroom window. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

World Snake Day (Watch and Learn)

A man in Kansas City had to be rescued after falling into a porta potty while trying to retrieve a bottle of Mountain Dew. RFK Jr. commented on the story saying, "Mountain Dew is not a healthy choice.” —Tom Shillue

Yesterday was World Snake Day, so I hope everyone gives a special shout out to Adam Schiff. —Tom Shillue 

To lessen the strain on Vermont's power grid, customers are being asked to cut back on using air conditioners. Bernie Sanders agreed, although he thought they said hair conditioner. —Tom Shillue 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You Sure This Is Legal? Institute (keeping it and expanding it wherever possible)

This week, CIA Director John Ratcliffe traveled to Cuba, which has run out of oil and is experiencing massive blackouts. We sent the CIA director because the FBI guy is also experiencing massive blackouts. —Colin Jost

Health Secretary RFK Jr., said during an Oval Office event, that, in 1970, men had twice the sperm count as our teenagers do today. The teenage sperm counts were measured at the You Sure This Is Legal? Institute. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

since I flew to an island with my buddy Jeffrey Epstein (a careful study of socks)

RFK Jr. claims teenage boys in the 1970s had twice as much sperm as today’s teens. This after a careful study of socks. —Greg Gutfeld

Tiger Woods appeared earlier today in a Florida courtroom. He wasn't scheduled to appear. He just lost control of his SUV and crashed into the courthouse. —Greg Gutfeld

President Trump is traveling to China with Elon Musk, Tim Cook, and 15 billionaire CEOs. I haven't seen that many billionaires on a plane since I flew to an island with my buddy Jeffrey Epstein. —Greg Gutfeld. 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What can you say? The man loves to dance (it will assess how many Wendy’s tendies you can fit in your mouth)

“Originally President Trump said his ballroom would cost $200m, and it would be financed by private donors. Then the price tag doubled to $400m, which he said would still be paid for by private donors. Then yesterday, Republicans in the Senate pushed a bill that was allocate a billion dollars of taxpayer money to to go towards this project. According to the judiciary committee, the increased funds would be used to heighten security in the wake of the recent shooting at the White House correspondents’ dinner. A billion dollars for a ballroom. What can you say? The man loves to dance.” —Jimmy Kimmel

There is news that Trump will be bringing back the presidential fitness test, which had previously been nixed during the Obama administration. He wants kids to get in shape. Trump said, ‘If they don’t get in shape, they’ll never be able to marry a wealthy businessman.’ While the test used to judge fitness based on how many sit-ups you could do, now it will assess how many Wendy’s tendies you can fit in your mouth. Only Donald Trump would bring back a test that he has no chance of passing. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I didn't say it. I declared it (panda steaks)

The University of Mississippi is hosting a panel on how the news media can regain trust featuring speaker Brian Stelter. This will be followed by a seminar titled How to Make Men Horny by Rosie O’Donnell. —Greg Gutfeld

A disaster was narrowly averted at New York airport when an Alaska Airlines flight narrowly missed, hitting a FedEx cargo plane. The crash could have killed hundreds and delayed RFK Jr.’s shipment of panda stakes. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, well, well! Look who needs me now, said Tylenol (alive in some form)

President Trump said in an interview that he believes Iran's Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei is "damaged" but "probably alive in some form,” which is also a pretty great description of Trump. —Colin Jost

Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., seen here back from his mission to the sun...said he's recovering from rotator-cuff surgery on his shoulder. Well, well, well! Look who needs me now, said Tylenol. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well that makes one of us (to be continued...)

Secretary of Health and Human Services RFK Jr said the FDA will soon remove eight harmful dyes from the US food supply. They also plan to ban whatever the hell is in George Clooney’s hair. —Greg Gutfeld 

Morning Joe’s Joe Scarboro told Elon Musk quote "It's time to get back to your day job due to Tesla's stock dropping," adding "He's getting pounded." "Well that makes one of us," said Mika Brzezinski. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The hardest part was convincing both sides that he was still the president (Tropic Thunder)

President Biden said that the Israel-Hamas ceasefire talks were one of the toughest negotiations he had ever experienced. The hardest part was convincing both sides that he was still the president. —Colin Jost

Robert F Kennedy, Jr. Trump's nominee to lead the nation's health agencies will have his Senate confirmation hearing next week. RFK has been preparing for the hearings by setting his tanning bed to Tropic Thunder. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

MUS Poll: 2024 Presidential Election (October 23 - October 31, 2023)

 1,412                31.32%

1,287                28.54%

1,104                24.48%

705                15.63%

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So tell me more about this Robert Kennedy fella (Is he wearing ice skates in the parking lot?)

I saw that President Biden's approval rating among his fellow Democrats just dropped 11 points to a record low of 75%. Yikes. Even Jill is like, “So tell me more about this Robert Kennedy fella.” —Jimmy Fallon

I saw that President Biden's approval rating among his fellow Democrats just dropped 11 points to a record low of 75%. If Biden becomes any less popular, Republicans might elect him speaker of the House. —Jimmy Fallon

That's correct. Yeah, Biden's down to 75% approval among Democrats. On the bright side, he gets to tell people that he's in his mid 70s again. —Jimmy Fallon

When Biden asked how he could boost his numbers, his staff said, "Try walking from the car to the plane without making people think, "Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God!” It's like, "Is he walking -- Is he walking on skates? Is he wearing ice skates in the parking lot?” —Jimmy Fallon

Hey, did you guys see this? The magician David Copperfield just announced plans to make the Moon disappear. Yeah, it's an amazing trick he calls daytime. Yep. David Copperfield will make the Moon disappear. Yeah. Then for his next trick, he threatened to pull a rabbit out of Uranus. —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he was the only candidate who could say the words, 'George W. Bush think tank' with a straight face (the NFL suspended him for two games)

"Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because he was the only candidate who could say the words, 'George W. Bush think tank' with a straight face." --Conan O'Brien

"Reportedly the identity of Jack the Ripper, who killed five people in London, finally has been revealed. After hearing about it, the commissioner of the NFL suspended him for two games." –Conan O'Brien

"Some Republicans are saying they want Dick Cheney, that's right, Dick Cheney, to run for president in 2012. Of course, you have to remember that when they said this, Cheney was torturing them." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A revolution is coming... (a giant talking mouse is telling the president to be more realistic)

It's come out that the new Republican healthcare bill will hike premiums by 700 percent for the old and sick. It’s not a good sign that the title of the bill is “Walk It Off, Grandpa.” –Conan O’Brien

In protest of President Trump abandoning the Paris climate accord, the CEO of Disney has resigned from Trump’s business advisory council. It’s not a good sign when a company led by a giant talking mouse is telling the president to be more realistic. –Conan O’Brien

According to the Senate, President Trump’s budget is dead on arrival. In other words, Trump’s budget is covered by Trump’s healthcare plan. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The bad news is that he may be replaced by his idiot son Hosni W. Mubarak (it turned out to be a bag of cash dropped off by Jack Abramoff)

"Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie." --David Letterman

"The good news is that Hosni Mubarak may step down. The bad news is that he may be replaced by his idiot son Hosni W. Mubarak." –David Letterman

"In Washington, the Justice Department was evacuated because of a suspicious package. It was okay, it just turned out to be a bag of cash dropped off by Jack Abramoff." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Russell Brand: You've Gotta Be F**king KIDDING Me!!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Sabby Sabbs: Chris Hedges ANALYZES Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 2024 (Interview)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Almost HALF Of Dems Have Favorable View Of RFK Jr.!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

RFK Jr STUNS With Strong Poll After Announcement | Breaking Points

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”