I didn't say it. I declared it (panda steaks)

The University of Mississippi is hosting a panel on how the news media can regain trust featuring speaker Brian Stelter. This will be followed by a seminar titled How to Make Men Horny by Rosie O’Donnell. —Greg Gutfeld

A disaster was narrowly averted at New York airport when an Alaska Airlines flight narrowly missed, hitting a FedEx cargo plane. The crash could have killed hundreds and delayed RFK Jr.’s shipment of panda stakes. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The $17,000 Bet (pizza roll dipping dish)

A daredevil set himself on fire and dragged a car for 328 feet to set a new world record in what the Guinness Book of Records is calling the most dangerous automotive event not involving a female driver. —Greg Gutfeld

A passenger on a cruise ship jumped overboard to avoid a $16,000 gambling debt. But being smart, he just bet someone $17,000 that he would jump off a cruise ship. —Greg Gutfeld

French first lady Bridget Macron has agreed to provide scientific evidence that she is indeed a biological woman. If she's successful, Rosie O’Donnell may try and do the same thing? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Especially if you both want a divorce (Trump is still harboring a grudge)

A new study found being brutally honest with your partner can benefit both of you. Especially if you both want a divorce. —Greg Gutfeld

Elon Musk has apologized to Donald Trump tweeting that he regrets some of his posts and that they went too far. As a token of regret he's offering to impregnate a woman of Trump's choice. Trump is still harboring a grudge because his choice was Rosie O’Donnell. —Greg Gutfeld

A New York man may have earned a world record by playing golf for 36 hours straight. He credits this to hating his wife. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is from the Journal of Who Gives a Sh*t (Easter eggs/smiling)

Easter eggs are so expensive Americans are dying potatoes instead. Speaking of dying potatoes, Rosie O’Donnell is still in Ireland. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a new study monkeys are better yodelers than humans. This is from the Journal of Who Gives a Sh*t. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the voice of reason is a stroke victim who dresses like he steals from a laundromat (You can do this already with a Zip code)

Rosie O’Donnell has left the United States and moved to Ireland. Poor Ireland, suddenly that whole Potato Famine doesn't seem so bad. Soon the Irish will be praying to St Patrick to get rid of her and bring back snakes. —Greg Gutfeld

The Democrat party’s in free fall. From the lowest level man-child to the highest level politician. There's no reason, no optimism, just insanity piled on insanity. And it’s ready to topple like a human pyramid with Joy Behar on top. —Greg Gutfeld

This might be the future of the Democratic party but it doesn't have to be. There's Senator Fetterman, once a progressive darling who is now reviled by them for approaching normalcy. You know your party’s in trouble when the voice of reason is a stroke victim who dresses like he steals from a laundromat. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal? (fun sized)

April 2023

“Joe Biden is so old his face could be on money while he is still in office.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I wonder what Tucker Carlson did on his first morning without his prime-time show. Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump has a new book, which includes letters from various celebrities, many of them thanking him for campaign donations in the past. It’s like he just showed up at a publisher’s office and dumped a bunch of envelopes on their desk. In an interview with Newsmax, Trump claimed the book, which is being sold for $99.99 each, includes ‘beautiful’ letters from such figures as Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton and others. ‘I think people are going to learn a lot from this book’, he said. Right, it will probably be taught in Florida schools.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“President Biden announced today that he will run for a second term and said, ‘Let’s finish the job.’ Yeah, good idea. It would be nice to have a country where a guy could safely retire before he’s 86.” —Seth Meyers

“Can you imagine if it’s Biden versus Trump again? That’s like going into a diner, and the only things on the menu are 2-day-old egg salad and Donald Trump. I guess I’ll take my chances with the egg salad.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The duty of the comedian (Jail to the Chief)

March 2023

“Donald Trump boasted over the weekend that he would be arrested this week on charges stemming from a Manhattan prosecutor’s investigation into hush money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels during his 2016 presidential campaign. But those charges remained unconfirmed as of Tuesday evening. It’s a shame he wasn’t getting arrested today, because what better day for Trump to get arrested than on Rosie O’Donnell’s birthday. Trump is reported to be reveling being back in the news and the center of attention. Here’s a question: if Trump goes to prison, does the Secret Service go with him? It sounds like the premise for a Mark Wahlberg/Kevin Hart movie, right? Jail to the Chief.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Corleone is reportedly looking at his arrest as a fun experience, telling people he’s excited about potentially being handcuffed and paraded in front of cameras like it’s the red carpet at some kind of Guilty People’s Choice awards. He’s also saying he specifically wants to get handcuffed behind his back, which weirdly is the same request he had for Stormy Daniels when he got into this mess. Melania has been debating whether she should play Party in the USA or Celebration by Kool & the Gang.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The scenario “that has the Maga world all fired up right now, and that is if Trump refuses to leave Mar-a-Lago to surrender to authorities in New York or Georgia or one of the many places where he might wind up getting arrested, you know who would have to authorize the warrant? That would be Ron ‘Meatball Ron’ DeSantis, the governor of Florida and Trump’s main rival for the GOP presidential nomination. Matt Gaetz, the Florida GOP congressman previously investigated for sex trafficking, called on DeSantis to do everything in his power to prevent the arrest, lest ‘any Floridian’ be vulnerable to ‘false accusations’. Spoken like a truly innocent Florida man.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”