Isn't that the fun of it? (last meal)

Former President Bill Clinton said the CIA abandoned a plan to kill Bin Laden before 9/11 over fears that innocent civilians could die. Hillary disagreed, saying, "Isn't that the fun of it?” —Greg Gutfeld 

For his last meal, Georgia death row inmate Stacy Humphrey requested brisket, ribs, a bacon cheeseburger, chicken wings, pizza, French fries, two kinds of ice cream, and two large sodas. After hearing the news, Chris Christie just slaughtered a family, turned himself in. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

beautifully maintained and beautifully taken care of (286 days at sea)

Here’s a quick recap of Donald Trump’s low-key actions in the should-be slow month of August: rolling back childhood vaccine requirements, attacking mail-in voting, threatening to demolish the Kennedy Center and suggesting he would bomb American allies such as Oman, as well as all of Iran. 

“God, it never ends with this dude Trump,” Stewart lamented. “I’ve never seen one person work so much and fix so little. It’s exhausting in a way that’s difficult to articulate,” which is why one of the stories from August stuck with Stewart. 

That would be the plight of the USS Abraham Lincoln, the huge aircraft carrier carrying more than 5,000 US sailors and marines, which recently docked in Thailand, rusted and corroded by the elements, after 286 days at sea. 

“This is what we look like as Americans inside after 18 months of this presidency,” Stewart joked next to a photo of the run-down ship. “I want you to think about the visible, tangible, actual, indisputable, factual signs of corrosion on this ship.” Trump, meanwhile, claimed the ship was “beautifully maintained and beautifully taken care of”. 

“It’s not!” Stewart exclaimed. “The actual Abraham Lincoln is in better shape than this ship! A ‘beautifully maintained, beautifully taken care of’ ship doesn’t look like the abandoned bridge near my high school where we used to smoke weed. 

“It’s this, the relentless denial of reality that is one of the elements eating away at the foundational load-bearing structures that hold this country together,” he added. 

The other corrosive element? The memes. “Please make it stop,” a deeply fatigued Stewart pleaded before playing the clip, posted to official government accounts, of Trump crossing out the name “Lake Ontario” and writing “Lake America” in Sharpie amid escalating trade tensions with Canada. “You can’t! That’s not how things work!” Stewart shouted. “You don’t settle complicated international agreements by writing just a new name on the map and expecting everyone to just follow along. 

“Why are we trolling them?” he wondered of the Trump administration’s needling of Canada. “Is that the plan? To troll them into submission?” —Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We're manipulated into directing our fear at everyone except those responsible (then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey)

"It's interesting to me that since they've been out of office, Dick Cheney has really got his nose out of joint. And now he is criticizing the Obama Administration for looking into the CIA torture policy. He says 'You shouldn't be looking into the CIA torturing policy.' He made that announcement, then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey." --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney accused Barack Obama of setting a 'terrible precedent.' That's what Cheney said, Obama is setting a 'terrible precedent,' not to be confused with George W. Bush, who was a terrible president. That's a different deal." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Do not get between governor Christie and the potato salad (the other way around)

"If you are attending this campaign cookout in Iowa, please, this is sort of like the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Do not get between governor Christie and the potato salad." –David Letterman

"How about that Harry Potter movie? Opened today as a matter of fact. In this one, Harry goes up against Dick Cheney and his secret CIA hit squad." --David Letterman

"Anybody here from Minnesota? Congratulations, you have a brand new senator, our old friend, Al Franken. Al is an interesting guy. Went from being a comedian to a politician. George Bush, the other way around." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Are you beginning to miss the days when we were ruled by a mad English king? (And by God, who could question Wall Street's judgment?)

"It's day nine of the government shutdown. Are you like me? Are you beginning to miss the days when we were ruled by a mad English king?" –David Letterman

"How about that Harry Potter movie? Opened today as a matter of fact. In this one, Harry goes up against Dick Cheney and his secret CIA hit squad." --David Letterman

"Wall Street says they prefer Mitt Romney for president. And by God, who could question Wall Street's judgment?" –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's been a rough month for Dr. Fauci (This is Gary Webb)

The commissioner of the WNBA said the league is having a meeting to review what a woman is. So far, they've disqualified anyone who can back out of the driveway without running into the mailbox. —Greg Gutfeld 

A team of divers recently discovered a 162 year old bottle of beer that experts claimed could be drinkable. Even more remarkable, they also discovered a box of wine that lasted 20 minutes in Kamala Harris's fridge. —Greg Gutfeld 

A Long Island stripper is suing a doctor who slapped her with a restraining order after she told his wife about their affair. Wow. It's been a rough month for Dr. Fauci. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

we must consider the possibility that I do weigh 239 pounds (I'm worried I will never be sober again)

Audience, I’m worried that once they make self-driving cars, I will

never be sober again. --Stephen Colbert

Today the president also pardoned Saudi Arabia. The CIA is

preparing a report that is expected to tie the brutal murder of

journalist Jamal Khashoggi to crown prince Mohammed bin

Salman, but the president got out in front of the CIA today and

released a statement on Khashoggi’s killing.

It starts out with a calm reassuring message: “The world is a very

dangerous place!” It is now! Apparently you can kill a Washington

Post journalist and the president don’t give a damn, because Trump’s

official presidential decision on who is a resolute, “I dunno.”

Trump wrote, “Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all

information, but it could very well be that the crown prince had

knowledge of this tragic event. Maybe he did, and maybe he didn’t!”

Did Donald Trump just knowingly provide cover for a murderous

autocrat? Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Someone wrote that

down. Someone actually typed that -- “Maybe he did. Maybe he

didn’t.”

That statement informs us in no way. A Magic Eight Ball would have

taken a firmer stance. Colbert as Trump, “Look things are not

knowable. We live in a quantum state of flux, where time and matter

coexist in interdimensional plasma in which all possible pasts and

futures simultaneously manifest on the space-time continuum. And

in that infinite multi-verse of non-congruent para-data, we must

consider the possibility that I do weigh 239 pounds.”

--Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it's an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business (My Bad)

"The title of Bush's memoir is 'Decision Points." It narrowly edged out his original title, which was 'My Bad.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"The identity of the Navy Seals that killed Osama bin Laden is being kept secret. It's for their own safety. It's to keep them from being high-fived to death." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Between the death of bin Laden and the royal wedding, it's an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You Sure This Is Legal? Institute (keeping it and expanding it wherever possible)

This week, CIA Director John Ratcliffe traveled to Cuba, which has run out of oil and is experiencing massive blackouts. We sent the CIA director because the FBI guy is also experiencing massive blackouts. —Colin Jost

Health Secretary RFK Jr., said during an Oval Office event, that, in 1970, men had twice the sperm count as our teenagers do today. The teenage sperm counts were measured at the You Sure This Is Legal? Institute. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

CIA Legend Robert Baer: Trump CLUELESS On Iran War

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was bitten by a radioactive douchebag (That unborn child is Luke Skywalker)

Republicans are blaming President Obama for creating Donald Trump. While others say he was created in a lab when a young real estate developer was bitten by a radioactive douchebag. –Conan O’Brien

"I'm upset that friend of the show Mike Huckabee criticized Natalie Portman for having a child out of wedlock. Listen, I'm no fan of unwed mothers either, but this is Natalie Portman we're talking about. That unborn child is Luke Skywalker." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he just asked Congress for a $10 million budget increase for the NCIS team (we can finally call it even)

There was an article over the weekend that revealed that Donald Trump spends between four and eight hours a day watching television . . . A day! Speaking as someone who hosts a television show, that is too much TV. I don't want to say Trump watches too much TV, but he just asked Congress for a $10 million budget increase for the NCIS team. –James Corden

The Dakota Access oil pipeline, which the Sioux tribe has been protesting for months, will no longer be routed through their land. It’s a big win for Native Americans — and if the next 9 billion things go their way, we can finally call it even. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

that is assuming I make it past tomorrow's death panel interview (enhanced quail hunting)

"But according to a newly released memo from the CIA, they used horrible torture techniques on prisoners. Dick Cheney claimed that it wasn't torture. Enhanced interrogation techniques, that's what he called it. And he didn't shoot that guy in the face. No, no, that was enhanced quail hunting." --David Letterman

"Ladies and gentlemen, I didn't even realize this until this morning, Sunday will be the 16th anniversary of Paul and myself doing the show here at CBS. Sixteen. And that is assuming I make it past tomorrow's death panel interview." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What a bunch of amateurs, said Hillary Clinton (The most destructive individual in my lifetime)

Florida is set to execute its record 11th person this year. Only 11. What a bunch of amateurs, said Hillary Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld

Gavin Newsom called Donald Trump simply the most destructive individual in my lifetime. Nancy Pelosi responded saying, “The most destructive individual in my lifetime was Genghis Khan.” —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

See kids, sometimes dreams do come true (Colbert's tears)

Yesterday, New York Governor Kathy Hochul declared a state of emergency in NYC due to severe flooding. Still not sure if it was caused by the rain or Stephen Colbert's tears. —Greg Gutfeld

Speaking of, last night Kamala Harris was on Colbert's show and told Stephen that quote, "Growing up, she never wanted to be the president." See kids, sometimes dreams do come true. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He’s getting more presidential every day (Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident)

President Trump is filing a lawsuit against Capital One Bank. Apparently, Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet. --James Corden

Earlier in his campaign, Trump was calling Carly Fiorina ugly. Now he’s saying he might pick her up if she falls down. Guys, that’s growth. He’s getting more presidential every day. –James Corden

A Fox News headline read “Bikini-clad bride weds groom in overalls, caps off Florida wedding with roll in the mud.” The honest headline should have read “Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident.” --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

followed by a lifetime of . . . the same (little keys)

"The CIA is going through the stuff they found in Osama bin Laden's compound, including a diary. I didn't know he had a diary. That is so sweet. They haven't read the diary yet because they can't find the little key to open it up." –Craig Ferguson

"The royal couple is finally heading to their honeymoon for two weeks of living in pampered luxury, followed by a lifetime of . . . the same." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Altar boys, on the other hand, are still waiting for their apology (then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey)

"There's a lot of tension in the world. Over the weekend, Pope Benedict apologized to the Muslims. Altar boys, on the other hand, are still waiting for their apology." --David Letterman

"It's interesting to me that since they've been out of office, Dick Cheney has really got his nose out of joint. And now he is criticizing the Obama Administration for looking into the CIA torture policy. He says 'You shouldn't be looking into the CIA torturing policy.' He made that announcement, then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out is was just Sean Hannity (Flabby, Grabby and Stabby)

Donald Trump also had his second physical examination as president. Close call, during the rectal exam, this is serious, doctors thought they found something serious up there. Turns out is was just Sean Hannity. --Bill Maher

Alan Dershowitz is one of the lawyers defending Trump at his impeachment trial. Dershowitz also defended Harvey Weinstein, O.J. Simpson and now Trump. Wow, think about that. Weinstein, O.J. and Trump. Flabby, Grabby and Stabby. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”