President Trump said even the Indians want the name the Redskins back. He followed up by saying it's just a matter of if, when, or how. —Greg Gutfeld
Elizabeth Warren fell down on the Senate floor yesterday and to everyone's surprise, didn't even yell Geronimo. —Greg Gutfeld
Abercrombie and Fitch launched a new jeans commercial with plus-sized women, which raised concerns among viewers who panicked that someone had eaten Sydney Sweeney. —Greg Gutfeld
President Trump is bringing back the presidential fitness test for public schools. Teachers are excited because itmeans students will have much better stamina during sex. —Greg Gutfeld
"A woman got a DUI while driving a car that belongs to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. So, I'm starting to think maybe it's the car that has the problem." –Jimmy Fallon
A new poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren't bothered by the controversial name of the Washington Redskins. It turns out the name Native Americans dislike the most is still the Cowboys. –Jimmy Fallon
There was a crazy story out of Venezuela. A 25-year-old woman was arrested after attempting to break her boyfriend out of prison by smuggling him in a suitcase. The warden said it was an “open-and-can’t-quite-get-it-shut case.” –James Corden
Isn’t the Super Bowl already patriotic enough? The game is between the Eagles and the Patriots. The only way it could be more American is if they forced the Redskins out of their stadium and played it there. --James Corden
A new poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren't bothered by the controversial name of the Washington Redskins. It turns out the name Native Americans dislike the most is still the Cowboys. –Jimmy Fallon
Italian chefs recently set a new world record after making a mile-long pizza that took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who ordered the pizza was like, "Ooh, I said no pepperoni." –Jimmy Fallon
"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, 'We've been expecting you.'" –Jimmy Fallon
“Trump claimed on Fox that upon hearing his answers, doctors remarked: ‘That’s amazing, how did you do that?’ But I’m skeptical. I’m gonna guess the doctors did not say that, noting that this test does not assess intelligence. A perfect score merely indicates, to quote the Washington Post, that the test-taker ‘probably does not have a cognitive impairment’. I’m gonna need something stronger than ‘probably’ for the person who has the nuclear codes.” —Stephen Colbert
“See, he’s been harping for weeks now about this cognitive test he took, and just to remind you, it’s not a hard test. It includes questions like ‘Name these animals.’ [Imitating Trump] ‘Well, that’s easy. I’ll call the first one Corey. The second one I will call Lance. And the last one — Corey Two.’” —Stephen Colbert
“Today is a historic day for D.C. football fans because, after getting rid of the team’s previous name, Washington’s N.F.L. team will go by the name ‘The Washington Football Team’ until a new name can be chosen. The Washington Football Team? Sounds like they can only afford the store brand version of team names. It’s like when my mom couldn’t buy us Cheerios so she brought Oat Circles.” —Trevor Noah
“Trump’s latest ‘speech’ – more of a political ramble – in the White House Rose Garden earlier this week was strange. The coronavirus pandemic – you know, the ongoing crisis that has left the country in ruins, – barely came up. He basically ignored it. That’s like the fire department showing up to a burning house just to sell you their new calendar.” —Seth Meyers
“Given the onslaught of ominous news – 28 million Americans face eviction, unemployment twice as high as the worst of the recession, schools potentially not reopening in the fall – it is impossible to watch what is unfolding right now under this administration and avoid the conclusion that America is in freefall. There’s also the risk of regular flu season dovetailing with another wave of coronavirus in the fall and winter. Think about all of these simultaneous crises colliding at once, and how much preventable misery that would release on the country. The only way 2020 could get any worse is if Washington’s football team changed their name to the Jeffrey Epsteins.” —Seth Meyers
“That’s right, Washington’s N.F.L. team will officially retire the name and logo, but did not announce a replacement. Well, if I may, how about the Jets? Nobody’s using it.” — Seth Meyers
“Yes, after decades of resisting, the Washington Redskins have finally decided to change their name. And, look, this is a step in the right direction, but it almost feels like dismantling structural racism is so difficult that instead America is just crossing off the easier items on its racism to-do list: ‘OK, next item, we’ve got to create an equal and just society. Hm, all right, let’s skip that one. Um, what about changing the name of a football team and canceling Aunt Jemima? Yeah? That should hold us over for a year.’” — Trevor Noah
“Never a great sign when your social wokeness is a month behind a pancake company.” — Stephen Colbert
“Today, the team released a statement saying that they’re working to ‘develop a new name and design approach that will enhance the standing of our proud, tradition-rich franchise,’ a commitment to progress that would’ve hit a little harder had the statement not used the team’s name seven times and included their logo. Wow, they’re almost as good at P.R. as they are at football.” — Stephen Colbert
I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to choose. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.
On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders, Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton
LT Paul McCartney, musician The Beatles
LT Nelson Mandela, South African leader
LG Jesus Christ, some folks Lord and Savior
LG Ringo Starr, musician The Beatles
C Charles Bukowski, poet
C Muddy Waters, musician
RG God
RG Winston Churchill, English Prime Minister
RT John Lennon, musician The Beatles
RT George Harrison, musician The Beatles
TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy wonder
WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster, wonder boy
DT Army, Jack Renforth (RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP), HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J. Purkey, Navy, T.F., Marines, David Wood, Marines, Ian Betts, Navy
More Colts players include Martin Luther King, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, as well as characters from Star Trek…
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf, Cmdr Data, James Kirk, Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer, Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge, Ben Sisko, etc.
“And in yet another sign of just how much of a roller coaster Trump’s presidency has been, in that two-day span, he went from the low of his personal lawyer butt-dialing a reporter to the high of killing the world’s most wanted terrorist, and then that same day, back to the low of getting booed at the World Series.” --Seth Meyers
“Wow, move over, baseball — there’s a new national pastime.” --Seth Meyers
“Then Trump turned to Melania and was like, 'Wow, they really don’t like you.’” --Jimmy Fallon
“Usually to get booed that much at a sporting event in Washington, D.C., you have to play for the Redskins.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“You know he’s going to be throwing himself a big rally in Alabama after that to make him feel great again.” --Jimmy Kimmel
Yesterday Dallas head coach Bill Parcells apologized for making an insensitive remark about Japanese people. In his apology Parcells said I'm going to stop making insensitive racial slurs and start focusing on beating the Redskins. --Conan O’Brien 6/8/2004
Despite record gas prices more than 36 million people are expected to hit the roads over Memorial Day weekend. 36 million people. The scary part is one of them is Billy Joel. --Conan O’Brien 5/28/2004
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn
subjects such as world
history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes.
More on the paper as it is
fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight
Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LT Nelson Mandela,
South African leader
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
LG Ringo Starr,
musician The Beatles
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
C Muddy Waters,
musician
RG God
RG Winston Churchill,
English Prime Minister
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
RT George Harrison,
musician The Beatles
TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy
wonder
WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster,
wonder boy
DT Army, Jack Renforth
(RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP)
HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J.
Purkey, Navy
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen
Hawking, Albert Einstein
characters from Star Trek
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
and fictional characters
Jack Bauer, 24, played by
Keifer Sutherland
Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under,
played by Peter Krause
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in
peace.
Washington Redskins
Fantasy Roster
Offense
QB Sammy Baugh, NFL
QB Kirk Cousins, NFL
QB Colin Kaepernick,
NFL, civil rights activist
HB John Riggins, NFL
HB Robbinson Jeffers,
poet
HB John Coltrane,
musician
HB Stephen Davis, NFL
FB David Palmer, 24,
played by Dennis Haysbert
WR Charley Taylor, NFL
WR Tyrion Lannister,
Game of Thrones, played by Peter Dinklage
WR Art Monk, NFL
WR Pierre Garson, NFL
WR Gary Clark, NFL
WR T.S. Eliot, poet
TE Jim Thorpe, Native
American athlete
TE Jerry Smith, NFL
TE Malcolm Reed, Star
Trek, played by Dominic Keating
TE Vernon Davis, NFL
LT George Starke, NFL
LG Russ Grimm, NFL
C Jeff Bostic, NFL
RG Mark Schlereth, NFL
RG Bernie Sanders,
Independent Vermont senator
RT Joe Jacoby, NFL
RT John Shaft, Shaft,
played by Samuel L. Jackson
Defense
LE Charles Mann, NFL
LE Khan Noonien Singh,
Star Trek, played by Benedict Cumberbatch
LE Tarzan Cooper,
basketball, New York Renaissance
LE Dr. Dre, musician
RE Cmndr Worf, Star
Trek, played by Michael Dorn
RE Keyser Soze,
character in The Usual Suspects
RE Moses, religious
prophet
RE Sitting Bull, Native
American leader
DT Dexter Manley, NFL
DT Dave Butz, NFL
DT Pop Gates,
basketball, Harlem Renaissance
DT Robert Johnson,
musician
LB Stephen Moyer, True
Blood, played by Stephen Moyer
LB Ryan Kerrigan, NFL
LB Sam Huff, NFL
LB Martin Luther King,
civil rights leader
LB Tupac Shakur,
musician
LB Charles Mingus,
musician
LB Lando Calrissian,
Star Wars, played by Billie Dee Williams
LB Chris Hanburger, NFL
LB Perry Cox, Scrubs,
played by John C. McGinley
LB Homer Smith, Lilies
of the Field, played by Sidney Poitier
Some videos of racially
insensitive Halloween costumes went viral today. Then people realized they were
just watching footage of a Washington Redskins game. –Conan O’Brien
In Wisconsin, a child’s
trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did
manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes. –Conan O’Brien
What
a great time to be in Washington. The Nationals won yesterday. The Redskins won
yesterday. And the Orange-skin lost. –Seth Meyers
After
a video surfaced of Donald Trump and Billy Bush making lewd sexual comments
about women, NBC announced Bush would be suspended from the “Today” show
indefinitely. Bush could not be grabbed for comment. –Seth Meyers
Trump
campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said this morning that “Last night’s debate
was a good night for democracy.” But I think what she really meant was, “Good
night, democracy.” –Seth Meyers
Hillary
Clinton and Donald Trump are starting to really go at it. This week Hillary
criticized Trump's behavior, saying that when you run for president, the rest
of the world is watching. While the rest of the world was like, “Yeah, and
we're loving this!” –Jimmy Fallon
While
at a rally with Chris Christie in New Jersey yesterday, Donald Trump said, “If
you can make it in New Jersey, you can do just about anything you want in
life.” Then Trump looked at Christie and said, “Well, except be President.”
–Jimmy Fallon
A
new poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren't bothered by the
controversial name of the Washington Redskins. It turns out the name Native
Americans dislike the most is still the Cowboys. –Jimmy Fallon
"This weekend a Native American group gathered outside of
the Houston-Washington game to protest the Redskins' nickname. And a group of
Cowboys wide receivers gathered outside of the Dallas-San Francisco game
because that's where most of Tony Romo's passes were landing." –Seth
Meyers
"This week President Obama will announce his plans for
addressing the threat posed by ISIS extremists in Iraq. It's an incredibly
difficult situation. I think at this point he should just tell Liam Neeson that
they have his daughter." –Seth Meyers
