I don’t even like to say Billy Bush! (The four morons of the apocalypse)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

The third movie in the “Thor” series is going to be called “Thor: Ragnarok.” Mainly because calling it “Thor Three” would give everyone a speech impediment. "Theriously?" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t even like to say Billy Bush! (Stop?)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Two proxy wars at the same time, Jack (Wait, what's consent?)

In that tweet, Trump insinuates that the New York Times set up Bob Corker by recording him, but the transcript actually shows that they had Corker's full consent. When Trump heard that, he said, “Wait, what's consent?” –James Corden

Yesterday Donald Trump’s devoted wife Melania gave an interview to Anderson Cooper where she defended Donald, saying that Billy Bush basically manipulated her husband into saying those things. Because if there’s one thing we know about Donald Trump, he usually does exactly what people tell him to do. –James Corden

But then late Sunday morning, Bob Corker gave an interview and he said it concerned him that Trump runs the White House “like he’s doing ‘The Apprentice.’” Again, not entirely accurate. On “The Apprentice” only one person got fired per week. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush! (Stop?)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Barack Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” (I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’)

Tyler Perry announced that he bought an army base in Atlanta and plans to turn it into a movie studio. And when they heard Madea was taking over an army base, ISIS immediately surrendered. –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well, now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But when you start stealing bits from “Weekend Update” anchors — it is ON!

In that interview, President Trump responded to questions about unsubstantiated claims he recently made, by saying, quote, “I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m president and you’re not.” OK, I didn’t mind when you talked dirty with Billy Bush, or told Russia to hack Hillary’s emails. [shows photo of Chevy Chase on ‘SNL’] But when you start stealing bits from “Weekend Update” anchors — it is ON! –Seth Meyers

Press secretary Sean Spicer said today that the White House was optimistic about the chances of the Republican healthcare bill, but, quote, “At the end of the day, we can’t make people vote.” [shows photo of Hillary] “Tell me about it,” said one woman. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

analysts say a Trump presidency could cripple the future of legalized marijuana

A man is suing Donald Trump for $1 billion, claiming the campaign caused him “emotional distress.” That man’s name is Billy Bush. –Conan O’Brien

Some analysts say a Donald Trump presidency could cripple the future of legalized marijuana. And to make matters worse, once it’s crippled, Trump will make fun of it. –Conan O’Brien

Today, Donald Trump headed to Washington to meet with President Barack Obama at the White House. As his plane took off from New York, the fire department gave him a presidential sendoff by shooting water into the air. Now, apparently this is a tradition. I’m not really sure why they do this — all this did was remind us that we all needed to take a shower after this election. –James Corden

when people yell “speech, speech,” she charges them $250,000

We would be remiss if we didn’t start off by wishing Hillary Clinton a happy birthday. It must be tough being a close friend of Hillary. I mean, no matter what you get Hillary Clinton for her birthday, it will never be as good as the gift Billy Bush gave her. –James Corden

Hillary’s birthday party is just like any other birthday party except when people yell “speech, speech,” she charges them $250,000. –James Corden

Last night was game one of the World Series, the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Cubs, and it was a shutout. The Cubs never even scored. They should change their name to the James Cordens in High School. –James Corden

Any more leaks, and we’re going to need WikiDepends (one arm’s length)

Every day, we get another revelation about Clinton from WikiLeaks. Any more, and we’re going to need WikiDepends. –Stephen Colbert

The latest is a list of the vice presidents Hillary Clinton was considering. It includes political superstars like Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, and Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack. Also in this WikiLeaks-released list are business leaders like Apple CEO Tim Cook and Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. Apparently, Hillary decided against Schultz because the race already had one pumpkin-spiced candidate. –Stephen Colbert

It’s been 11 days since we heard Donald Trump on the Grope-Town Express, and a lot of people have distanced themselves from Donald Trump — at least one arm’s length. –Stephen Colbert

Last night, Melania explained who she really blames for Donald Trump’s behavior. Yes, it was all Billy Bush’s fault. Now I know why they were on a bus — it’s easier to throw Billy underneath it. –Stephen Colbert

Please rescue me, my life is a prison (the incredible shrinking president)

Yesterday Trump’s devoted wife Melania gave an interview to Anderson Cooper where she defended Donald, saying that Billy Bush basically manipulated her husband into saying those things. Because if there’s one thing we know about Donald Trump, he usually does exactly what people tell him to do. –James Corden

Melania was standing by her husband. Well, actually she stands behind him. Otherwise he’ll try to grab her you-know-where. –James Corden

Responding to accusations of harassment, Melania said that she’s seen many women try to slip Trump their phone numbers. Much like how Melania tried slipping Anderson Cooper a piece of paper that said “Please rescue me, my life is a prison.” –James Corden

When they go low, we get high (but more cartoonish...)

The election continues to be insane. Ever since the tape of the Billy Bush Locker Bus came out, Trump has been fending off attacks like a woman meeting Donald Trump. –Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump tweeted that the “election is absolutely rigged by the dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked Hillary — but also at many polling places. Sad!” Yes, even at polling places, the election is being rigged against Trump. I heard that on Nov. 8th, millions of “riggers” will be behind curtains in private booths, and with a secret ballot, collude to defeat Trump. –Stephen Colbert

And why? They’re doing it for the stickers. “I Rigged.” I think that’s what it says; I’m not entirely sure. –Stephen Colbert

Trump has tweeted multiple times about the media rigging the election, and he’s right. From day one, the media rigged this election — in favor of Donald Trump. You can’t turn on the TV without seeing Trump. He’s like the Geico gecko, but more cartoonish. –Stephen Colbert

On Saturday, Trump said that Hillary might be using drugs to help her performance in the debates. Remember what she said about her debate strategy: “When they go low, we get high.” –Stephen Colbert

that is a case of “he said” and “she said, she said, she said, she said, she said.”

Donald Trump, you really have to hand it to him, I don’t think I’ve been this interested in a show since the first season of “Lost.” Every week, a completely new twist. We’ve gone from Mexicans to Muslims, little hands to Lyin’ Ted, Megyn Kelly to Melania’s speech, Crooked Hillary’s health to Billy Bush’s bus. Now he’s saying the election is rigged, even though it hasn’t happened yet. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump spent the weekend campaigning and complaining. He’s been cam-plaining. –Jimmy Kimmel

As you know, Trump is being accused of sexual misconduct by a slew of women. Of course, that is a case of “he said” and “she said, she said, she said, she said, she said.” –Jimmy Kimmel

It’s for people who love the news but feel like it’s not being yelled at them loud enough

Donald Trump is telling his supporters the voter turnout will be manipulated by the Democrats on November 8th. Then again, this is coming from the guy who said, “Make sure you get out and vote November 28th.” –James Corden

No matter what happens on November 8th, or the 28th, or whenever the election is happening, Trump apparently has a contingency plan — because now it seems Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner is in talks to create a Trump media network. Could you imagine Trump being on your TV 24 hours a day? That would be like — well, it would be like right now. –James Corden

It means Billy Bush is going to be back on TV in no time. –James Corden

This will probably be a news network. Trump News: It’s for people who love the news but feel like it’s not being yelled at them loud enough. –James Corden

Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” (a small toy)

A new national poll found that Democrats now have a significant lead over Republicans in the congressional races. Republicans said, “And there’s only one man to blame for this,” and Donald Trump said, “Exactly: Billy Bush.” –Jimmy Fallon

Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

According to a new study, Americans are not eating anywhere near as much cereal. Everything else we’re eating a lot more of, but not cereal. I find this news kind of depressing. Although I’m not entirely sure why. The cereal was never really breakfast, so much as it was a large box for a small toy. –Jimmy Kimmel

The Redskins won yesterday. And the Orange-skin lost. (Good night, democracy)

What a great time to be in Washington. The Nationals won yesterday. The Redskins won yesterday. And the Orange-skin lost. –Seth Meyers

After a video surfaced of Donald Trump and Billy Bush making lewd sexual comments about women, NBC announced Bush would be suspended from the “Today” show indefinitely. Bush could not be grabbed for comment. –Seth Meyers

Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said this morning that “Last night’s debate was a good night for democracy.” But I think what she really meant was, “Good night, democracy.” –Seth Meyers

Befuddled, Clueless, and in the dark (Poor Jeb Bush)

The Washington Post on Friday leaked the behind-the-scenes 2005 video of Donald Trump chatting with Billy Bush on the “Access Hollywood” bus. Trump was caught on tape telling Billy about the time he tried to have sex with “Entertainment Tonight” reporter Nancy O’Dell. He says he took her furniture shopping. By the way, I want some follow-up, I want to know if that happened, and if it did, what did he buy her? A sizable item? A hutch or a dinette set? Are we talking ottoman? –Jimmy Kimmel

So, of course, people were outraged. Trump apologized, Billy Bush got suspended from his job. Poor Jeb Bush. Billy Bush is his cousin; he has to be thinking, “Why in the hell didn’t he release this tape a year ago?” –Jimmy Kimmel