Trump hadn’t made a payment to a pornstar in weeks. Weeks! (According to Stormy Daniels that’s two bonus minutes)

Nancy Pelosi said President Trump is involved in a coverup. It’s called Bronzer, Nancy and it’s not fooling anyone. --Stephen Colbert

If you remember a few weeks ago the democrats proposed a $1 Trillion infrastructure deal, and Trump said, “Why not $2 Trillion?” So they said Okay. Today was just supposed to be hammering out the details, but it didn’t work out that way. Trump walked in, didn’t shake anyone’s hand or take a seat, and left before anyone else could speak. All told, it was over in three minutes. According to Stormy Daniels that’s two bonus minutes. --Stephen Colbert

According to a new report from the New York Times, employees at Deutsche Bank flagged accounts belonging to Donald Trump in 2016 and 2017 for suspicious activities related to potential money laundering. But bank executives chose not to report it to the government. But, in their defense, I wouldn’t want people to know that I loaned money to Donald Trump either. Bank employees became suspicious when they noticed large sums of money being transferred to Russia. Also this is another red flag, Trump hadn’t made a payment to a pornstar in weeks. Weeks! --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It was the first time ever that Trump didn't want to hear himself talk (Seriously, CNN, what have I ever done to you guys?)

CNN released a recording of Trump and his lawyer talking about using hush money to cover up his affair with Playboy model Karen McDougal. In response, Trump was like, “Oh, no! Stormy Daniels might find out I cheated on her.” --Jimmy Fallon

The tape is from 2016 and you can hear Trump talking about paying off a Playboy model. It was the first time ever that Trump didn't want to hear himself talk. He was like, “Turn it off. Turn it off.” --Jimmy Fallon

It’s a big story and CNN was the first to release the tape. When he heard, Trump was like, "Seriously, CNN, what have I ever done to you guys?" --Jimmy Fallon

Before the Cohen tape was released, Trump warned people not to believe what they see or hear. Americans are like, “Trust us, we haven't believed anything we've seen or heard since Election Day. So we're good with that. You don't have to tell us.” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Newt says you can't compare the two affairs because his woman was really hot (But you die...)

"The mainstream media is having a conniption over the revelation that eight U.S. attorneys were fired by the Bush administration last year. Big whoop! I thought everyone in Washington wanted to spend more time with their families anyway." --Stephen Colbert

"Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has admitted that he was having an extramarital affair back in 1998, at the same time he was the leading critic of Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky. But Newt says you can't compare the two affairs because his woman was really hot." --Jay Leno

"Rudy Giuliani has defended Newt Gingrich, saying it's okay Newt had an affair and that no one is perfect. That's when you know the Republicans are in trouble -- when a guy with three marriages and an affair is defending the guy with three marriages and two affairs, so they can team up and beat a Clinton." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's like Trump University But you die (pandering to the voters)

"San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom in hot water again for simulating oral sex with a reporter's microphone, or as they call that in San Francisco, pandering to the voters." -Jay Leno

"A presidential candidate in France said his plan for birth control would be to encourage people to masturbate. Which explains why no one wants to go into the voting booth after he's done." -Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I didn't ruin Harry Potter for you (Iraq this, Iraq that)

   

"Nation, I've got to be honest with you. I'm bored. Every day it is the same thing. Iraq this, Iraq that. I don't want to talk about Iraq anymore. Besides, all this war analysis is just spoilers. Hey New York Times, I didn't ruin Harry Potter for you, don't ruin this war for me. Can't we all just wait until September when General Petraeus comes to Washington and tells us the ending?" --Stephen Colbert

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Single Payer NOW, Cowards/Neoliberalism 101/Fox News Poll

Health Insurance Company CEOs Total Compensation in 2014

"A globe of the world once owned by Adolph Hitler is going to be auctioned off. So, Hitler's globe if you're thinking about getting a Christmas gift for Ann Coulter." --Jay Leno

"Rudy Giuliani and John McCain have teamed up to attack Mitt Romney. See, you need two people to attack Romney -- one for each of his positions on the issue. Political experts are saying that Giuliani and McCain could be the Republican ticket. Or, a remake of 'Grumpy Old Men'" --Jay Leno

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

before Cheney shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave (Gee, what's that like?)

"We thought this day would never come, but guess what, ladies and gentlemen, he's at it again.  Vice President Dick Cheney is pheasant hunting in Upstate New York today. The hunt went pretty well. Dick drove back to the hotel with a hunting buddy tied to his fender."  --David Letterman

"You know, we've made a lot of jokes about Dick Cheney and hunting and shooting his buddies in the face but he really is a great sportsman. I mean, before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

And weirdly, I don’t feel tired from all the winning yet (open sewers)

Sean Spicer’s out, Reince Priebus is out, Trumpcare is dead, and Kim Jong Un has a missile that can reach New York. And weirdly, I don’t feel tired from all the winning yet. –Jimmy Kimmel

The president has been very busy repealing and replacing his staff, most notably Anthony Scaramucci, the Mooch, who 10 days ago was named the White House communications director. Today he’s out of a job. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

You ever hear the joke about the difference between a flower and a hockey mom?

"Now, you may have heard that the McCain camp has been limiting access to Sarah Palin. But that's not true. You just saw her sitting down there with Hamid Karzai talking about his son. Of course, no access make media angry [on screen: montage of media commentators saying they should have access to Palin and that she isn't a 'delicate flower']. She can kill a moose! With her bare hands! Rip its heart out and show it to the moose! She will rip its heart out and show it to the moose before eating it. You ever hear the joke about the difference between a flower and a hockey mom? One has both male and female reproductive organs, and the other one's a flower. Boom!" --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

How soon until I can start pointing fingers again? (White House panic room)

"No, actually, the real reason John McCain says he's postponing the debate is to concentrate on the economic crisis. In fact, President Bush spoke to the nation earlier tonight, addressing the financial crisis. He spoke live from the White House panic room." --Jay Leno

"Do you even understand this Bush economic plan? Do you understand how it works? See, here's how it works. When you screw up, you pay. When they screw up, you pay! Yeah, actually very simple." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Repeal and Replace Republicans (clown motel parking spot)

“Dancing With the Stars” is reportedly trying to get former White House press secretary Sean Spicer to be a contestant, marking the first “Dancing With the Stars” contestant who’s hit rock bottom before going on the show. –Jimmy Fallon

The owner of a clown motel in Nevada is looking to sell it. The clown motel is like any other motel, except it only has one parking spot. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

How could I be more clear?! (Skinny repeal)

President Trump today wrote an all caps tweet saying quote, “IN AMERICA WE DON'T WORSHIP GOVERNMENT - WE WORSHIP GOD.” Though I think most of us will happily worship whichever one gets you out of office first. –Seth Meyers

Yesterday we were talking about how the Senate Republicans celebrated narrowly voting to open debate on their Obamacare repeal bill. Well, that victory is on life support already, because last night, their plan to replace Obamacare lost by 43-57. But don't worry. They have a backup-backup-backup plan, the so-called "Skinny repeal," which I think is made with soy milk. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I stab from the front, underhand. Like a gentleman (backstabber, pt. 2)

Newly appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci said today that he’s not a backstabber, but “more of a front-stabbing person.” And it’s very telling about this administration that they think there’s a right way to stab somebody. “I stab from the front, underhand. Like a gentleman.” –Seth Meyers

At a rally in Ohio last night, President Trump said that Abraham Lincoln is the only president more presidential than him. And then, this is weird, Trump invited him to the White House. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

this is a very sensitive issue, so he made sure to choose his emoji's very carefully (Jamboree)

Some big political news. Today President Trump went on Twitter and announced that he is banning transgender people from serving in the military. Trump said he understands this is a very sensitive issue, so he made sure to choose his emoji's very carefully. –Jimmy Fallon

Actually, Trump says that he's banning transgender people from serving because of high medical costs. If he cares so much about high medical costs, maybe he should pass a healthcare bill. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

And if you thought Jeff Sessions was bad, you were right (eye rolling merit badge)

President Trump spoke yesterday at the Boy Scout Jamboree and bragged about his election victory over Hillary Clinton. And every Scout in attendance earned the merit badge for eye rolling. –Seth Meyers

According to The Washington Post, President Trump is considering Ted Cruz as a replacement for Attorney General Jeff Sessions. And if you thought Jeff Sessions was bad, you were right. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

You Get a Pardon! You Get a Pardon!You Get a Pardon! (Surprise me!)

Today, Senate Republicans voted to move forward in the process to repeal and replace Obamacare, even though they don't know what they're going to be voting on. That’s like going into a hospital and telling the surgeon, "Surprise me! Just go for it!” –Jimmy Fallon

That’s right, ahead of the healthcare vote, Senators were saying they had no clue what they’d be voting on. Then Americans said, "Hey — just like us during the election!" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans  

That's more Satan's area (General Tso, I love your chicken)

"She said at her church, Governor Palin, said she asked everyone to pray for a natural gas pipeline, which she said was God s will. And today, God said, "Hey lady, I don't deal with oil companies. That's more Satan's area.'" --Jay Leno

President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary. But they got together, the Chinese, and threw a big state dinner for President Bush in his honor. They served Peking lame duck. And President Bush, he doesn t know what he s doing over there. He turned to the president of China, and he said, 'General Tso, I love your chicken.'" --David Letterman

A new Earth-like planet has been discovered a few months before an election where Donald Trump could be president. If that's not perfect timing, I don't know what is. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

she shot and mounted that thing on Donald Trump's head (extra tight lids)

"But Sarah Palin is having a great time in New York City. Today, as a matter of fact, she shot and mounted that thing on Donald Trump's head." --David Letterman

"John McCain has been now endorsed by Donald Trump, and Sarah Palin has been endorsed by Lens Crafters." --David Letterman

"But you know what I hate during a presidential campaign? Dirty tricks. Are you like me and hate the dirty tricks? Well, some hackers hacked into Sarah Palin's email. Kind of the same thing happened to John McCain. Somebody broke in and stole his clapper." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

Though when it comes to President Trump, the third time's the charm (Ann Coulter's broomstick)

The Republican bill to repeal and replace Obamacare has officially fallen apart. But Republicans say they're just going to let Obamacare fail while they regroup and figure out a new plan. And Democrats said, "Hey, that's the same thing we're doing with Trump." –Jimmy Fallon

Republicans announced last night that the latest GOP healthcare plan will not be moving forward, making this the second draft of the bill to fail in the Senate. Though when it comes to President Trump, the third time's the charm. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020