Even Dick Cheney won't go hunting with her (and more proof that God is a woman)

"Tampa could be hit by Hurricane Isaac, and they might have to cancel or postpone the Republican National Convention. A hurricane headed directly for the Republicans – and more proof that God is a woman." –David Letterman

"President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound." --David Letterman

"Congress has been agonizing over health care for months now. Squabbling, fighting, the town hall meetings going crazy. Meanwhile, while they're arguing about health care, we're stuck in two wars that were rubber-stamped in about 10 minutes. What? How does that make any sense when you think about it?" --David Letterman

"Squeaky Fromme has been in prison since the '70s for trying to shoot President Gerald Ford. Out of prison now. But she's described as an unstable gun nut. Here's how unstable and nutty she is. Even Dick Cheney won't go hunting with her." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses (What a genius, he'll be missed)

Dr. James Watts a neurosurgeon who performed the first frontal lobotomy died this week in Washington. If you recall, a lobotomy involves drilling holes in the skull and then inserting and rotating a knife to destroy brain cells. What a genius, he'll be missed. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan reports that her husband has been relaxing at their ranch riding horses and chopping wood. Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

In North Dakota this week a hunter narrowly escaped death when a pocketknife in his breast pocket deflected a bullet shot by another hunter. Man, you know we have too many weapons in this country when people are getting shot in the knife. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In 1672, a mob of angry Dutch killed and ate their Prime Minister (Options. Just sayin')

"Mitt Romney has been telling people he's a 'lifelong hunter,' but the truth is that he went hunting once when he was 15 years old and once last year, so by 'lifelong' he means he went twice. I think it's important to add, both of the times he went hunting, he shot an old man in the face ... so he's at least vice presidential material." --Conan O'Brien

"Romney was saying he is a 'lifelong hunter.' Turns out he's hunted exactly twice in his whole life. Dick Cheney has hunted lawyers more times!" --Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney stunned everybody by raising $23 million all in small donations. Apparently, he got one dollar from every Osmond." --Jay Leno

"Rudy Giuliani said he wants to make it clear he is not in favor of gay marriage. He believes marriage should be between a man and a woman, no matter how many times it takes them to get it right." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

'For God's sake, will you go hunting and shoot somebody in the face?' (Troops responded to the news, saying, 'I'm gay.')

"The Bush administration on Wednesday extended the tours of Army troops in Iraq by three months, increasing their stay to a total of 15 months. Troops responded to the news, saying, 'I'm gay.'" --Amy Poehler

"Are you aware that it's Friday the 13th? Down in Washington, D.C., a confused President Bush lit a menorah." --David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is running for president. He was talking to the press a couple of weeks ago, and he said he likes to hunt. Turns out he's only been hunting twice in his life. His aides are panicked. They're saying, 'For God's sake, will you go hunting and shoot somebody in the face?'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

before Cheney shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave (Gee, what's that like?)

"We thought this day would never come, but guess what, ladies and gentlemen, he's at it again.  Vice President Dick Cheney is pheasant hunting in Upstate New York today. The hunt went pretty well. Dick drove back to the hotel with a hunting buddy tied to his fender."  --David Letterman

"You know, we've made a lot of jokes about Dick Cheney and hunting and shooting his buddies in the face but he really is a great sportsman. I mean, before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

until you realize that means the woman would have to be having sex with Dick Cheney

"Another way the Oscars will be different this year normally, when a speech goes a little over the orchestra plays them off. This year they're going to have Dick Cheney take them out." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney will resign in the year 2007. That's what they're saying. In fact Cheney, himself, said today he's going to leave when shooting guys in the face just isn't fun anymore." --Jay Leno

"According to the internet Cheney was having an affair with the woman he was hunting with and that she fired the shot that hit the lawyer and Cheney took the blame to protect her, which sounds possible until you realize that means the woman would have to be having sex with Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

Unfortunately, once you get inside you can't find your way out (George W. Bush museum)

"It was announced today that George Bush's childhood home in Texas has been turned into a museum. Unfortunately, once you get inside you can't find your way out." --Jay Leno

"I don't know why  President Bush can't leak us information that we can actually use, like tell us when  Dick Cheney is going hunting again." --Jay Leno

"Did you see Cheney the other day? He threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home game. It was low and in the dirt -- kind of like his approval rating. Whose idea was it to use Cheney to throw out the first pitch? I mean, this guy's not known for his aim." --Jay Leno