So leave a duffel bag full of Krugerrands by the front door (the greatest scenario)

“Trump’s attorneys were said to be ‘baffled’ by Mulvaney’s statement. One of his lawyers put out a statement. He wrote: ‘The legal team was not involved in the acting chief of staff’s press briefing.’ Of course not. They already have one idiot shooting his mouth off. They certainly didn’t authorize two.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“And then, with all this talk of the Bidens inappropriately profiting from public office, the White House today announced that the United States will host the next G-7 summit at the Trump Doral golf resort in Miami. For real. The president is generously renting his golf club out to all the leaders of the world. Because of course he is. He doesn’t care anymore. He’s just like, ‘Yeah, you know what, we’re hosting it at my golf resort. And guess what? A round of golf’s a million bucks — that doesn’t include cart, and we’re tripling the room rates! So leave a duffel bag full of Krugerrands by the front door.’” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Although the G-7 summit happens in June — there’s a good chance he might not be president anymore by then. By the way, wouldn’t that be — this would be the greatest scenario: Trump has to watch President Pence chatting it up with the world leaders while he guzzles Diet Cokes in the clubhouse.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

What's your secret? I mean, your other secret (at least the trains will seem fast)

President Trump announced plans this week to help people who leave prison find jobs, as opposed to his current program where he gives people jobs, and then they go to prison. --Seth Meyers

O.J. Simpson joined Twitter this weekend. And I know -- I know this is the wrong take, but he looks terrific. I mean the dude's 71. What's your secret? I mean, your other secret. --Seth Meyers

Lawmakers in New York State have reportedly resumed negotiations on a stalled bill to legalize recreational use of marijuana. I guess if everybody's high, at least the trains will seem fast. --Seth Meyers

During an interview yesterday, President Trump asked his chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, to leave the room, after Mulvaney coughed while he was speaking. Which is weird, but at least it explains why Melania started smoking unfiltered Pall Malls. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Why are you doing this to yourself? (Husband From Hell)

President Trump yesterday tweeted a picture of a signed check that he wrote donating $100,000 of his annual salary to the Department of Homeland Security. Of course, if you want to give part of your salary to the government, you can just pay your taxes. --Seth Meyers

According to Politico, the White House is expected to drop the word "acting" from acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney's title, and they'll replace it with "soon to be quitting." --Seth Meyers

After George Conway published negative thing about him, Donald Trump called Conway, who happens to be married White House insider Kellyanne Conway, the “husband from hell.” I'm sorry, but you are the last person who should call anyone else the husband from hell. You've been divorced twice, you paid hush money to a porn star, your affairs were all over the tabloids, and you misspelled your wife's name. If anything, "Husband From Hell" sounds like the name of a Lifetime movie about you. --Seth Meyers

In fairness to Trump, he probably thinks Google is biased against him because if you search his name, all the results are bad. In fact, if you type "Donald Trump" into Google, you just get an error message that says, "Why are you doing this to yourself?" --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And then he's going to be sued by every guy that's ever danced at a wedding (her hips don't lie)

Some entertainment news. I heard that the former "Fresh Prince" star Alfonso Ribeiro is suing the makers of "Fortnite" by using his famous Carlton dance in their game. And then he's going to be sued by every guy that's ever danced at a wedding. --Jimmy Fallon

Time to put the news to bed. Good night, Mick Mulvaney, Trump's new Chief of Staff. I'll be surprised if you last a week and a half. Good night, woman who gave birth at Taco Bell. That baby's first words will be, "hard or soft shell?" Good night Kellogg's, using corn flakes to make beer. Or as that cartoon rooster put it, "Look, it's been a rough year." Good night, Shakira's tax evasion, which she denies. I for one believe her because her hips don't lie. And finally, good night Steven Miller with hair sprayed on your head, or as Trump put it, That's why I comb over instead. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

but instead of gold everything he touches turns to crimes (you're gonna want someone reasonable within tackling distance)

It is no secret that the Trump administration has like a lot going on right now. First of all everything Trump has ever been involved in is being investigated. His company, his charity, his presidential campaign, his inauguration. His presidency is like he has the Midas touch, but instead of gold everything he touches turns to crimes. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

The chief of staff job search frustrated Trump so much he just decided he'd hire whoever came through the door next. And I'm just saying we should be grateful that Mick Mulvaney got the job and not the White House Roomba. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

I know that seems weird but at least we know that Mick Mulvaney's normal. So when Trump goes for that nuclear football you're gonna want someone reasonable within tackling distance. That's all I'm saying. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's like being fired from The Rockettes for kicking (Will I abandon all my values to work for him?)

Mick Mulvaney has accepted the position as Trump’s chief of staff. So he needs for Trump to trust him if he’s going to be chief of staff because all relationships are about trust. Maybe Mulvaney should have thought of that before he said this in 2016. Mulvaney said, “Do I like Donald Trump? No! Is he a role model for my sons? Absolutely not! I think he’s a terrible human being.” Colbert as Mulvaney, “Will I abandon all my values to work for him? You Bet!” --Stephen Colbert

Getting fired for ethics violations in the Trump administration is like being fired from The Rockettes for kicking. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'll take the job, but I'm out (high-kicking Rockettes)

Guys, Christmas is just eight days away, and even President Trump is in the holiday spirit. Yep. Today, he asked if he could replace the border wall with a line of high-kicking Rockettes. --Jimmy Fallon

Actually, the big story is that Trump might shut down the government if he doesn't get $5 billion for his border wall. And he wants $5 billion more to hire Aquaman to guard the ocean between Miami and Cuba. --Jimmy Fallon

You guys hear about this? Mick Mulvaney has agreed to become Trump's Acting Chief of Staff, but says that he only wants to do the job for six months. You can tell working for Trump is tough because people are quitting before they even start. It's like, "Yeah, I'm going to quit, so...I'll take the job, but I'm out. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If you can’t spell it, you can’t have it (a middle-aged Harry Potter impersonator)

As you know President Trump has been having a hard time finding a replacement for John Kelly, his former chief of staff. Well, he’s just found a temporary one. Donald Trump has announced that his acting chief of staff will be Mick Mulvaney. I’m sure most of you are unfamiliar with Mick Mulvaney. Here’s a picture of him. That’s Trump’s new chief of staff. There’s no word yet as to whether he’ll be keeping his weekend job as a middle-aged Harry Potter impersonator. --James Corden

Donald Trump tweeted about his precious border wall this evening, and while his opinions on the border wall haven’t changed, his spelling apparently has. Because he spelled the word border with an extra ‘A’, spelling it Boarder. How’s this for an idea: If you can’t spell it, you can’t have it. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He really puts the a** in compassion, doesn’t he? (good in bed)

President Trump is headed to Las Vegas tomorrow. If it goes anything like his trip to Puerto Rico, I'm sure it will be great. Trump has said some not-so-nice things about Puerto Rico over the past week including a tweet that the Puerto Ricans "want everything to be done for them" — says the guy who has never carried a piece of luggage in his entire life. –Jimmy Kimmel

At a news conference this morning, he regaled those who don't have power yet with hilarity like this: "Mick Mulvaney is here, and he is in charge of a thing called budget. Now, I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you've thrown our budget a little out of whack. We spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico and that's fine." Oh, yeah. Next time you allow a storm to ravage your island, please think about, we're not made out of money; think about the cost. He really puts the a** in compassion, doesn’t he? –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans