Police are describing him as medium height, medium build, and extremely circumcised (Batman actually was a billionaire)

At a hardware store in California, a man was caught on camera attempting to steal a chainsaw, but stuffing it down his pants. Honestly, let him keep hit. He earned that chainsaw more than anyone who ever paid for it. The suspect got away and police are describing him as medium height, medium build, and extremely circumcised. --James Corden

A campaign film for Donald Trump compares him to Batman. Donald Trump isn’t anything like Batman. Batman actually was a billionaire. --James Corden

Police in Oregon recently responded to a potential burglary in progress after a woman reported seeing shadows of someone in her house. Police arrived only to find the suspect was actually a Roomba that was trapped in her bathroom. Now listen, when you legalize weed in your state you’re going to get a few Roomba-burglar incidents, you know? It is quite an endorsement for Roomba. It’s so quiet you don’t notice it until you think it’s robbing your house. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

but instead of gold everything he touches turns to crimes (you're gonna want someone reasonable within tackling distance)

It is no secret that the Trump administration has like a lot going on right now. First of all everything Trump has ever been involved in is being investigated. His company, his charity, his presidential campaign, his inauguration. His presidency is like he has the Midas touch, but instead of gold everything he touches turns to crimes. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

The chief of staff job search frustrated Trump so much he just decided he'd hire whoever came through the door next. And I'm just saying we should be grateful that Mick Mulvaney got the job and not the White House Roomba. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

I know that seems weird but at least we know that Mick Mulvaney's normal. So when Trump goes for that nuclear football you're gonna want someone reasonable within tackling distance. That's all I'm saying. --Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Which might explain why your Roomba won't come out from under the couch (having nobody as president would be better)

North Korea has announced plans to change time zones to line up with South Korea. Which means that North Koreans will have to set their clocks ahead — 100 years. --Seth Meyers

A new study found that one in four Americans said they would have sex with a robot at least once just to try it. Which might explain why your Roomba won't come out from under the couch. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I just wish it would follow me into the bathroom and stare at me while I shower (Nature taking its course)

According to a new report, Amazon is working on a robot that follows its owner around the house. It's basically an Alexa on wheels. This is going to be a hot item. Here's how you get one: You leave your Alexa and your Roomba alone in a bedroom and let nature take its course. --James Corden

I mean, did we need this? Is this something we asked for? Did anybody really ask for this? A robot that follows you around all day? Nobody was saying, "You know, I like my Alexa, I just wish it would follow me into the bathroom and stare at me while I shower." --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's young enough to be our president's ex-wife (President Roomba)

French President Emmanuel Macron said in a new interview that artificial intelligence could totally jeopardize democracy if left unchecked. But at this point, I'd be willing to try President Roomba. --Seth Meyers

According to a new report, despite his recent attacks on Amazon, President Trump's campaign spent more than $150,000 on the site. But you just can't beat the prices and service on Amazon Crime. --Seth Meyers

Costa Rica elected a 38-year-old as president this weekend who will become the country's youngest leader in history. Wow, 38. That's young enough to be our president's ex-wife. --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

If immorality is sweeping the land (It’s expected to be the No. 1 movie with a colon in the title)

Meanwhile, Roy Moore, you know Roy Moore — the leather-vested loser in the race for Senate in Alabama? Still hasn’t conceded the election. Even though he lost. Not only has he not conceded, he released a YouTube video bemoaning the fact that immorality is sweeping the land. If immorality is sweeping the land, you, my friend, are a Roomba. –Jimmy Kimmel

The new Star Wars movie has finally arrived. “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” opened in theaters tonight. I feel we need more time between the Star Wars movies. As soon as you come out of the theater you have to get in line for the next one. It’s expected to be the No. 1 movie with a colon in the title at the box office this weekend. –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

More Violence, You Wimp! (coming off his worst week)

You know those little robot vacuums called Roombas? The company that makes them says that Roombas have the capability to map out your home while they clean it, and it’s planning to sell that information to Amazon and Google. We all thought that the Roomba was just vacuuming; turns out it was casing the joint. The other night I could have sworn I heard Roomba and Alexa talking about how much they could get for my flat screen. –James Corden

President Trump is coming off his worst week since ... his last worst week, which I think was the week before last week. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans