You would not believe the tater tots I have access to (I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie)

Apparently — this is being reported in the Washington Post — Trump was showing off for his guests telling the Russians: “I get great Intel. I have people brief me on great Intel every day.” Well, yeah. You’re the president. It’s the job. It’s like the guy working the fry station saying, “You would not believe the tater tots I have access to.” –Stephen Colbert

A wild raccoon has moved into a German zoo and the zookeepers can’t expel it. Zookeepers say the raccoon “can expect free board and lodgings for life, because European Union rules forbid him from being released back into the wild.” But “He’ll have to be castrated.” And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Proving once again he should stop listening to Hunter (the raccoon now holds a position on the board of Burisma)

In an interview yesterday President Biden commented on leaving the race claiming he didn't think it would have mattered if he had pulled out sooner. Proving once again he should stop listening to Hunter. —Greg Gutfeld 

An Ohio woman was arrested after her pet raccoon was found holding her meth pipe. The woman is being held on drug charges but the raccoon now holds a position on the board of Burisma. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that, too. And make me clean it up (The loser keeps Hasselhoff)

"The CEO of BP Tony Hayward didn't take any questions after his White House meeting today. Probably a good thing. He's great at destroying ecosystems, but not so great at talking. Hayward has said: 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that, too. And make me clean it up." –Craig Ferguson

Huge white flags were placed on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. And late this afternoon, word came from the FBI that the New York Mets have surrendered.—Craig Ferguson

"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie (six of which Ozzy remembers)

A wild raccoon has moved into a German zoo and the zookeepers can’t expel it. Zookeepers say the raccoon “can expect free board and lodgings for life, because European Union rules forbid him from being released back into the wild.” But “He’ll have to be castrated.” And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie. --Stephen Colbert

This weekend, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said that they're getting a divorce. Ozzy announced the separation by biting the head off their lawyer. It's sad news. They were married for 33 years, six of which Ozzy remembers. –Stephen Colbert

In Norway, a whale watcher dropped their cell phone in the ocean. Then a Beluga whale retrieved it for them. That’s amazing. Now all we need to keep our cell phones safe is a Beluga whale in every toilet. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yahoo announced it is now run by a family of raccoons (the invisibility of poverty)

January 2023

Senator Rick Scott seen here learning that Harry Potter has fallen into his trap, announced that he is running for re-election promising to finish the Border Wall and name it after Donald Trump. Even though most things named after Donald Trump, like Donald Trump, Jr., are complete failures. —Colin Jost

Google announced that it is cutting 12,000 jobs while Yahoo announced it is now run by a family of raccoons. —Colin Jost

Disneyworld is closing Splash Mountain to turn it into Tiana’s Bayou Adventure after complaints that its Song of the South theme was racist. Okay, but where is the outrage about Disney forcing a mentally challenged dwarf to mine blood diamonds. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is this your cat? (Jazz hands)

April 2022

“After a clip was released yesterday of former President Trump storming out of an interview with journalist Piers Morgan, a spokesman for Trump called the preview a, quote, ‘pathetic attempt to revive the career of a failed television host.’ Buddy, you’re going to have to be more specific.” —Seth Meyers

“And the fallout from the Oscars slap is still rippling through show business, as producers of the Tony awards sent a letter to prospective audience members announcing a ‘strict no violence policy’. In the event of an incident, the letter continued, ‘the perpetrator will be removed from the event immediately’. I think this is good, because I’m going to tell you something: I know we laugh but the only thing worse than getting slapped is getting slapped with jazz hands.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How many times do I have to say it? I don't know things (they just rolled with it)

President Trump tweeted today, quote, "Because of the Democrats' intransigence on border security -- "Wait, wait, I'm sorry. There is no way Trump typed the word "intransigence." Either someone wrote that tweet for him, or that's autocorrected from "ice cream cake." --Seth Meyers

President Trump today denied knowing that his former campaign chair Paul Manafort shared polling data in 2016 with a Russian-linked associate. Said Trump, "How many times do I have to say it? I don't know things." --Seth Meyers

A McDonald's in California has re-opened three days after a man brought in a dead raccoon and placed it on one of the tables. Meanwhile at Taco Bell, they just rolled with it. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it is important to follow the money no matter how many porn stars it leads to (warehouse teeming with raccoons)

Yet another day of March Madness for the president: According to the “failing” New York Times, special prosecutor Robert Mueller has subpoenaed the Trump Organization, the president’s company, demanding that they hand over any documents related to business they may have done in Russia. In an investigation like this, it is important to follow the money no matter how many porn stars it leads to. --Jimmy Kimmel

I’ll always remember Toys R Us as the store where my children had a complete and total meltdown each and every time we went there. I guess people don’t enjoy that anymore. They buy toys on Amazon. Amazon will not rest until every other store is an abandoned warehouse teeming with raccoons. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html