gang signs (pulled out a little too late)

Elon Musk announced that he will step back from his role with DOGE. But as always, Elon pulled out a little too late. —Michael Che

It was reported that the Homeland Security Department has created a method to assess tattoos and determine if they are gang signs. The way it works is they check to see if the tattoo is on brown skin. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie (six of which Ozzy remembers)

A wild raccoon has moved into a German zoo and the zookeepers can’t expel it. Zookeepers say the raccoon “can expect free board and lodgings for life, because European Union rules forbid him from being released back into the wild.” But “He’ll have to be castrated.” And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie. --Stephen Colbert

This weekend, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said that they're getting a divorce. Ozzy announced the separation by biting the head off their lawyer. It's sad news. They were married for 33 years, six of which Ozzy remembers. –Stephen Colbert

In Norway, a whale watcher dropped their cell phone in the ocean. Then a Beluga whale retrieved it for them. That’s amazing. Now all we need to keep our cell phones safe is a Beluga whale in every toilet. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But at this point, I'd be willing to try President Roomba (Just Drive)

“During President Trump’s press briefing yesterday about the pandemic, he invited the founder of MyPillow to speak, at which point I used my pillow to scream into.” — Seth Meyers

“That’s right, the founder of MyPillow spoke at a coronavirus press briefing yesterday and encouraged Americans to use the time they’re self-isolating to read their Bibles. Oh, I don’t know — between the plague and the false idol next to you, I think the Bible is going to feel redundant.” — Seth Meyers

French President Emmanuel Macron said in a new interview that artificial intelligence could totally jeopardize democracy if left unchecked. But at this point, I'd be willing to try President Roomba. --Seth Meyers

A man in Australia reportedly returned to his car over the weekend to find a koala bear sitting in his back seat. Even weirder, when he got in, the bear said, "Just drive." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”