I don’t even like to say Billy Bush! (The four morons of the apocalypse)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

The third movie in the “Thor” series is going to be called “Thor: Ragnarok.” Mainly because calling it “Thor Three” would give everyone a speech impediment. "Theriously?" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NHL: Florida Panthers vs Edmonton Oilers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

They were charged with theft and I assume possession of weed (Eh, it's been done)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Two people in Arkansas were arrested for stealing $5,000 worth of Little Debbie snack cakes. They were charged with theft and I assume possession of weed. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t even like to say Billy Bush! (Stop?)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I want to tell you, occasions don't get more rare than that, ladies and gentlemen (The smart money is on Tim Tebow)

"Big news coming out of the Vatican. Pope Benedict resigned. And they're busy looking for replacements. The smart money is on Tim Tebow." –David Letterman

"Talking about presidents who smoked. You remember George W. Bush? Remember him? He's saying while he was president he would enjoy the occasional cigar. On a rare occasion, he would have a cigar because he said it helped him think. I want to tell you, occasions don't get more rare than that, ladies and gentlemen." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

On the bright side, Tim Tebow scored 12 touchdowns (11 of them were made by Dick Cheney)

A youth football team in Rhode Island was kicked out of its league after they snuck an adult man into their starting lineup. On the bright side, Tim Tebow scored 12 touchdowns. –Conan O’Brien

A new report in Indiana has found that thousands of dead people are still registered to vote. Which explains why today, Donald Trump held four rallies and three séances. –Conan O’Brien

"Former President Bush is writing his memoirs and he says they will focus on 12 major decisions he made in his life. The weird thing is, 11 of them were made by Dick Cheney." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush! (Stop?)

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Barack Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Please wait patiently for the failure of the system (You’re beautiful when you sleep)

“The Federal Communications Commission’s approved of Amazon devices that remotely monitor your sleep with radar. Right now, Amazon’s like, ‘Yeah … now we’ll start watching you sleep.’ It’s going to be creepy when Alexa’s like, ‘You’re beautiful when you sleep.’ —Jimmy Fallon

Thousands of people across the country went skinny dipping this weekend in an attempt to break the 2009 world record of 13,648 skinny dippers. Then the sharks said, “Cool, they already took the wrappers off these.” –Jimmy Fallon

Former quarterback Tim Tebow is scheduled to speak at next week's Republican Convention. Trump was even going to have Tebow throw his signature hats into the crowd, but he wasn't sure they'd make it. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don't Do It, Man (Eh, it's been done)

We want to send our best to Melania Trump, who’s doing well after having kidney surgery. When the doctor said she could go home in a few days, she was like, “Let’s not rush it.” --Jimmy Fallon

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Jay Z is working on a new album to tell his side of the story in response to Beyoncé’s "Lemonade." But before that, his friends are going to release their own song called "Don't Do It, Man." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The pope believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat (The smart money is on Tim Tebow)

"Big news coming out of the Vatican. Pope Benedict resigned. And they're busy looking for replacements. The smart money is on Tim Tebow." –David Letterman

"Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat." –David Letterman

"People are still talking about the Super Bowl. It was the most watched TV program of all time. The second most-watched event was the episode of 'Dallas' where J.R. gets shot in the face by Dick Cheney." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” (I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’)

Tyler Perry announced that he bought an army base in Atlanta and plans to turn it into a movie studio. And when they heard Madea was taking over an army base, ISIS immediately surrendered. –Jimmy Fallon

In a new MTV documentary with Macklemore, Obama says that when he was a teen he drank and did drugs, adding, “I pretty much tried whatever was out there.” When asked what made him stop, Obama said, “Stop?” –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well, now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump was even going to have Tebow throw his signature hats into the crowd, but he wasn't sure they'd make it (Ours too!)

"Rush Limbaugh just sold his penthouse in New York for $11 million. The apartment is amazing. It has a 24-hour doorman and a 24-hour pharmacy." –Jimmy Fallon

"Conservative rock star Ted Nugent says that he is thinking about running for president in 2016. Nugent said it's always been his dream. Then Democrats said, 'Ours too!'" –Jimmy Fallon

Former quarterback Tim Tebow is scheduled to speak at next week's Republican Convention. Trump was even going to have Tebow throw his signature hats into the crowd, but he wasn't sure they'd make it. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber (Eh, it's been done)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 87 percent of high school seniors are less than proficient in U.S. history. Not me. In fact, when I was a senior, I did a 10-page paper on my favorite president, George Jefferson." –Jimmy Fallon

Some male celebrities, like Kanye West and Justin Bieber, are wearing ripped jeans that cost up to $900. Or as dads with only one old pair of jeans put it, "Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Remember, we're counting on you to keep us rich (Eh, it's been done)

May 2014

"Thursday is the deadline for Iran to meet a series of measures to delay its nuclear program. Then Iran said, 'Do you mean 'DEADLINE deadline' or 'Sign up for Obamacare deadline?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien

"In Colorado a man was accidentally released from prison 90 years too soon. In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When the food runs out, we'll still have each other (Last week in Pakistan, he shot two holes in one)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Barack Obama said that his Administration will not release the photographs of detainee abuse. Not because they don't want to, but because they can't get the password for Dick Cheney's camera phone." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama was just ranked 108th in a new list from Golf Digest of the top 150 golfers in the political world. But I hear he's improving. Last week in Pakistan, he shot two holes in one." –Jimmy Fallon

British researchers are warning that one-fifth of the world's plant species are at risk of extinction. Even worse, kale is expected to survive. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement (Three skaters have tested positive for 'fabulous.')

"Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat." –David Letterman

"People are still talking about the Super Bowl. It was the most watched TV program of all time. The second most-watched event was the episode of 'Dallas' where J.R. gets shot in the face by Dick Cheney." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney lost all three of the primaries. Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney loves Valentine's Day. Today he sent a dozen long-stemmed red roses to his money." –David Letterman

"There's a bit of a scandal in men's figure skating at the Olympics. Three skaters have tested positive for 'fabulous.'" –David Letterman

"Big news coming out of the Vatican. Pope Benedict resigned. And they're busy looking for replacements. The smart money is on Tim Tebow." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

To me it's just beating a dead horse (I could have done that)

February 2014

"On Saturday before the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning received the NFL's MVP award for the season. Yeah, unfortunately it was immediately intercepted by a Seahawk." –Conan O'Brien

"Let's talk about the big game yesterday. The Seahawks beat the Broncos 43-8. The Broncos are blaming it on a traffic study." –David Letterman

"The final score was 43-8. At least that's what people told me when I woke up." –David Letterman

"How about that Super Bowl? Some of you may expect me to make jokes about the Broncos. I won't do that. To me it's just beating a dead horse." –Craig Ferguson

"Well done, Seattle. I think they needed this to cement their reputation. Before last night, the meanest guy from Seattle was 'Frasier.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Poor Broncos. Experts said they haven't seen something crushed like that in New Jersey since Chris Christie's beanbag chair." –Craig Ferguson

"The Broncos looked so bad, even the L.A. Lakers said, 'This is kind of embarrassing to watch.' Peyton Manning had such a bad night that Tim Tebow said, 'I could have done that.'" –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

You have to be between the ages of 18 and 40 and insane (It's eight months if you leave from Newark)

May 2013

"The Senate is now taking a look at the immigration bill and will provide sweeping changes if, in fact, the bill is passed. Passed? Tim Tebow's got a better chance of passing." –David Letterman

"NASA is taking applications for people who want to live on Mars. Now here are the requirements: You have to be between the ages of 18 and 40 and insane." –David Letterman

"I know it sounds like a lot of fun. But the flight alone is six months to Mars. It's eight months if you leave from Newark." –David Letterman 

"Hooter's is letting mothers eat for free on Mother's Day. What better way to tell your mother that she raised a cheapskate and a perv?" –Conan O'Brien

"Senator John McCain will introduce a bill that lets cable customers pick which channels they want to pay for. For instance, HBO would cost you $10, AMC would cost you $5, and NBC would pay you $200." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The smart money is on Tim Tebow (Korean flamethrower squirrels)

February 2013

"Big news coming out of the Vatican. Pope Benedict resigned. And they're busy looking for replacements. The smart money is on Tim Tebow." –David Letterman

"Last night while the president was speaking, the Westminster Dog Show wrapped up. The dog show and the State of the Union address are very different, of course. One's a lot of yapping and prancing and sniffing. And the other is the dog show." –Craig Ferguson

"Last night's Best in Show was a little affenpinscher. It's a German dog. The affenpinscher's name is Banana Joe. Banana Joe's being treated like royalty today in New York. This afternoon, he went to a steakhouse. Then he gets to spend the rest of the week serving as Donald Trump's toupee." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know what I think we should be investigating? Candidate fraud. (disappointing us right now)

October 2012

"The presidential debates were earlier tonight, and I think most of the nation's all thinking the same thing – just one more day until Thursday Night Football." –Jay Leno

"Watching the debates is a lot like football, particularly the New York Jets. Tebow is like Romney – almost surely disappointing if he gets in. And Obama's like Sanchez, already in there and disappointing us right now." –Jay Leno

"There's been a lot of talk this year about voter fraud, election fraud. But we haven't seen many cases of it. You know what I think we should be investigating? Candidate fraud." –Jay Leno

"Unlike those Republican primary debates, there was no cheering or applause allowed from the audience tonight in Denver, which was fairly easy to control. They filled the crowd with Colorado Rockies fans." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”