Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings (Abstinence saved my marriage!)

According to a new article on Melania Trump, most evenings she

does not have dinner with President Trump. Melania said,

“Occasionally, I’ll join him during his third breakfast.” --Conan

O’Brien

"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw

it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This

is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted

by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien

Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she is unaware of hush money payments made by President Trump to other women. Then Sanders opened an envelope full of cash and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t talk anymore.” --Conan O’Brien

It’s come out that under President Trump, abstinence-only education is making a comeback. In fact, Melania Trump said, “Abstinence saved my marriage!” --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don't Do It, Man (Eh, it's been done)

We want to send our best to Melania Trump, who’s doing well after having kidney surgery. When the doctor said she could go home in a few days, she was like, “Let’s not rush it.” --Jimmy Fallon

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Jay Z is working on a new album to tell his side of the story in response to Beyoncé’s "Lemonade." But before that, his friends are going to release their own song called "Don't Do It, Man." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber (Eh, it's been done)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 87 percent of high school seniors are less than proficient in U.S. history. Not me. In fact, when I was a senior, I did a 10-page paper on my favorite president, George Jefferson." –Jimmy Fallon

Some male celebrities, like Kanye West and Justin Bieber, are wearing ripped jeans that cost up to $900. Or as dads with only one old pair of jeans put it, "Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Remember, we're counting on you to keep us rich (Eh, it's been done)

May 2014

"Thursday is the deadline for Iran to meet a series of measures to delay its nuclear program. Then Iran said, 'Do you mean 'DEADLINE deadline' or 'Sign up for Obamacare deadline?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien

"In Colorado a man was accidentally released from prison 90 years too soon. In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wait a minute, how can you can see me when I can't see you? (Don't Just Lay There)

President Bush addressed the crowd at the Republican Convention via satellite. The first ten minutes of Bush's speech consisted of him saying, 'Wait a minute, how can you can see me when I can't see you?'" --Conan O'Brien

 

"Bill Clinton is writing a book designed to encourage Americans to become more active in their communities. Clinton's book is called 'Don't Just Lay There.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien

"The Dalai Lama is in the news. The Dalai Lama is threatening to resign from his position as the spiritual leader of Tibet. When asked why, the Dalai Lama said, 'I promised myself I'd quit the moment it stopped being fun.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When the food runs out, we'll still have each other (Last week in Pakistan, he shot two holes in one)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Barack Obama said that his Administration will not release the photographs of detainee abuse. Not because they don't want to, but because they can't get the password for Dick Cheney's camera phone." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama was just ranked 108th in a new list from Golf Digest of the top 150 golfers in the political world. But I hear he's improving. Last week in Pakistan, he shot two holes in one." –Jimmy Fallon

British researchers are warning that one-fifth of the world's plant species are at risk of extinction. Even worse, kale is expected to survive. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high

"Some NFL players actually criticized Michael Sam for kissing his boyfriend after getting drafted. Apparently NFL players aren't supposed to be in a gay relationship until they're sent to prison. Then it's fine." –Conan O'Brien





"In Colorado a man was accidentally released from prison 90 years too soon. In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high." –Conan O'Brien


"Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years ago, spent three days in the hospital, and maybe she has brain damage. You know, I don’t recall the Republicans being this concerned with mental fitness during the years when Reagan was talking to house plants in the White House." –Bill Maher



This is what we have been training for, people!

"What must it be like to work at a rehab facility and you see Toronto Mayor Rob Ford walk through the door? I can imagine: red lights start flashing, a siren goes off, someone yells, 'This is what we have been training for, people! Let's go!'" –Jimmy Kimmel



"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien