Why doesn't anyone want to be a teacher? (And better yet, she was delicious)

The Guinness Book of World Records has declared a Texas chicken named Pearl as the oldest in the world at 14 years 69 days. And better yet, she was delicious. —Greg Gutfeld

In response to Trump's efforts to reign in crime in DC, Hakeem Jeffries says the real crime scene is in the White House, which makes sense since abusing a corpse for four years is a crime. —Greg Gutfeld

Judge Pirro announced there is a $5 million bounty on a Haitian gang member known as Barbecue. It's the most money spent on a barbecue since The View slow roasted that elephant. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He let everyone know via Amber alert (1.42 billion wings)

Former New York congressman and convicted sex offender Anthony Weiner is considering a run for city council. He let everyone know via Amber alert. —Greg Gutfeld

Michigan State Representative, Laurie Pohutsky said in order to protest Trump's victory that she sterilized herself so she can’t have kids. Also keeping her sterile, every man’s eyes. —Greg Gutfeld

According to to the National Chicken Council, Americans will eat 1.42 billion wings while watching the Super Bowl. 1.5 billion if you count JB Pritzker. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber (Eh, it's been done)

"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 87 percent of high school seniors are less than proficient in U.S. history. Not me. In fact, when I was a senior, I did a 10-page paper on my favorite president, George Jefferson." –Jimmy Fallon

Some male celebrities, like Kanye West and Justin Bieber, are wearing ripped jeans that cost up to $900. Or as dads with only one old pair of jeans put it, "Well, look who's just as cool as Kanye Bieber." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the job is so big they were actually thinking about bringing in O.J. (about a dollar a victim)

A a big settlement up there in Boston. The Boston the archdiocese is offering a ten million dollar settlement. The Catholic Church for those sexual abuse charges. Ten million dollars. That works out to about a dollar a victim. --David Letterman 9/6/2002

Have you folks heard about the trouble in Hong Kong. The Hong Kong flu it's killing people and as a result the government has to a slaughter over a million chickens. They’re slaughtering over a million chickens and the job is so big they were actually thinking about bringing in O.J. --David Letterman 12/30/1997

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It is a crack legal analysis from the law firm of No, S**t & Sherlock (Bawk, bawk, bawk)

According to sources at the White House, Donald Trump's lawyers are telling him to refuse an interview with Robert Mueller “because the president, who has a history of making false statements and contradicting himself, could be charged with lying to investigators.” It is a crack legal analysis from the law firm of No, S**t & Sherlock. --Stephen Colbert

I know President Trump watches this show — because it’s on TV — so right now, I've got a special message for him: “Mr. President, ignore your lawyers. You follow your instincts and you sit down with Robert Mueller. Otherwise, everyone's going to think you're scared, but we know you're not.” Oh! Your fried chicken has arrived [picks up KFC bucket]. Wait, it's empty. Where is — oh, I think I know where the chicken is [flaps elbows and clucks]. Bawk, bawk, bawk. Bawk, bawk, bawk. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html