Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good (On the bus)

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May, is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as "The Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as porridge," "extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said Hillary Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good." –Seth Meyers

A new survey shows 30 percent of Americans believe legalizing marijuana will make driving less safe. Though marijuana users believe that legalization will make driving less likely. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good (without stopping to have sex once)

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May,

is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as "The

Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as porridge,"

"extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said Hillary

Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good." –Seth Meyers

A man completed a 180 mile unicycle ride yesterday, across the

state of Maine, unbelievably without stopping to have sex once.

--Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They've got you right where they want you (To infinity … and the bus!)

Jeb Bush said last night that he wants to see Margaret Thatcher on the $10 bill. While Donald Trump said, “They make a $10 bill?” –Seth Meyers

A “Toy Story" fan in England changed his name to Buzz Lightyear and was then refused a driver's license until he changed his name back. Said the man, “To infinity … and the bus!” –Seth Meyers

Kellogg’s announced today that it will be spending 450 million dollars in an effort to expand its food distribution to Africa. Though sadly, it was reported today that Tony the Tiger was gunned down by a Minnesota dentist. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Though it seems like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on (I would kill for reviews that good)

Dunkin' Donuts is partnering with Harpoon Brewery to release

a coffee-infused beer. Not to be outdone, Four Loko is now

partnering with heroin. --Seth Meyers

China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from

social media over the weekend, after users compared the character

to their president. Though it seems like it would just be easier to

just get their president to put some pants on. –Seth Meyers

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May,

is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as

"The Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as

porridge," "extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said

Hillary Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good."

–Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security (Was it Paul Revere again?)

"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno

"There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? 'Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security.'" –Jay Leno

"Tomorrow is April Fool's Day or as a lot of people are calling it President Bush’s Day." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

And then out of habit, several players fell down and pretended they had been shot (YOU are on the menu)

A Silicon Valley start-up called Ambrosia is looking into opening a clinic in Manhattan where people over the age of 35 could be injected with the blood of younger people to help increase their vitality. Said one customer, [photo of Rudy Giuliani] "Can I get a to-go cup? Because I'm on the move a lot and I also love blood." --Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush said last night that he wants to see Margaret Thatcher on the $10 bill. While Donald Trump said, “They make a $10 bill?” –Seth Meyers

A referee in a professional soccer match in Brazil pulled a gun out during a game last week because he was tired of being treated poorly by players and coaches. And then out of habit, several players fell down and pretended they had been shot. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good (I don't read it for the articles)

Last week Donald Trump vowed to protect Article 12 of the Constitution despite the fact that the Constitution only has seven articles. Said Trump, "I don't know. I don't read it for the articles." –Seth Meyers

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May, is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as "The Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as porridge," "extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said Hillary Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good." –Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush yesterday said in an interview that Donald Trump is a master at understanding how the media works. Whereas Jeb did the entire interview with the lens cap on. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Here's my question: Is 28% still technically an approval rating? (Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security)

"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno

"There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? 'Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security.'" –Jay Leno

"President Bush's approval rating has dropped to an all-time low of 28%. Here's my question: Is 28% still technically an approval rating?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It would have made a great episode of The X Files (I’ll just crash near a hospital)

September 2021

“Last year the Canadians came in and won it all, Schitt’s Creek’s swept all of the 2020 comedy awards, this year it was the English. It was a Brits-krieg this year, as half of the Emmys went non – dare I even say un-Americans. Even Ted Lasso had to move to London to win an Emmy this year.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Even more telling, he added, was a dopey American interviewer in London who asked Gillian Anderson, who won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a drama for playing Margaret Thatcher on The Crown, if she talked to the former prime minister about the role. Anderson answered, politely, that she had not. The reason that she hasn’t is because Margaret Thatcher died in 2013. But it would have made a great episode of The X Files if she had spoken to her somehow.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In other news, farm stores have not started to restrict sales of the livestock dewormer ivermectin, used by some hardcore anti-vaxxers as a Covid treatment despite debunking from health experts, to confirmed horse owners. For those who cannot get their hands on the horse-y sauce, the anti-vaxx crowd has been turning to monoclonal antibody treatment, an IV-hookup used to reduce symptoms of Covid. Pretty incredible people who don’t trust vaccines do trust being pumped full of lab-created antibodies. This is like sky-diving and instead of using the parachute you’re given, you’re like ‘yeah, I’ll just crash near a hospital.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So now we have Cox versus Weiner. This just doesn't stop! (Get Off My Property)

June 2011

"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno

"There's now a picture going around the internet of Weiner's naked penis. You can tell it's him, because it looks just like him." –Jay Leno

"The Chairman of the Republican Party Ed Cox said that he would use the incriminating pictures from Anthony Weiner to defeat him. So now we have Cox versus Weiner. This just doesn't stop!" –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's their nickname because they always choke (You want to ride my broomstick?)

"Until last week it said on her online profile that she attended Oxford University, which of course one of the most prestigious colleges on earth. Stephen Hawking teaches at Oxford, Rhodes scholars go there. She didn't go to Oxford, which is a shame, because Oxford's rugby team is called the Fighting Masturbators. That's their nickname because they always choke." –Craig Ferguson

"Christine O'Donnell didn't go to Oxford. It turns out she took a class from something called the Phoenix Institute, which happened to be renting a classroom at Oxford. That’s like saying you're a TV star, but really you're just on CBS during the middle of the damn night." –Craig Ferguson

"I understand why Christine would want people to think she went to Oxford. Oxford has produced some legendary politicians. Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair, Bill Clinton went to Oxford. I'm sure Bill would remember Christine if he saw her at Oxford. 'Hey baby, I hear you're a witch. You want to ride my broomstick? Because if you don't, I'll do it myself, and that would be wrong.'" –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

one of the top three wives he has had (four or five best known Americans)

     

"Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani is taking flack for statements he made last week in London. Giuliani gave a speech to a group of British conservatives, including Margaret Thatcher and told reporters, 'I'm probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world.' 

A line that always works in the Admirals Club. Now, Giuliani only made this statement to keep his audience from drifting away. You see, at the time, onlookers gathered in the lobby to gawk at actor Dustin Hoffman who was on a separate visit. 

Oh, what a coincidence, Dusty. Those two have been at each other ever since Hoffman beat out Giuliani for the role of Tootsie [on screen: Giuliani dressed in drag]. 

On his meeting with Margaret Thatcher, Giuliani said, 'I think she's one of three people who changed the map of Europe.' The other two, of course, are Napoleon and Hitler. 

One thing is clear about all this -- Rudy Giuliani loves lists. In fact, he often refers to his wife Judith as 'one of the top three wives he has had.'" --Stephen Colbert

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I would kill for reviews that good (capturing a really angry Jigglypuff)

A restaurant in China forces customers to solve complex math problems before they can order their meal. The restaurant has no plans to expand to the United States. –Conan O’Brien

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May, is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as "The Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as porridge," "extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said Hillary Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good." –Seth Meyers

Players of the popular Pokémon Go smartphone game are reporting problems in South Korea, where mapping apps are restricted. Meanwhile, players in North Korea are reporting problems capturing a really angry Jigglypuff. –Seth Meyers

It’s Never Too Early To Give Up (congratulations to Sporty Spice)

Earlier today, a bunch of grapes sold in Japan for over $10,000. In other words, they’ve opened a Whole Foods in Japan. –Conan O’Brien

A South Carolina elementary school’s lunch program has added a food truck that serves the kids buffalo wings, tacos, and mac-and-cheese. It’s all in keeping with the school’s motto: "It’s Never Too Early To Give Up." –Conan O’Brien

Great Britain is about to have its first female leader since Margaret Thatcher. So congratulations to Sporty Spice. –Conan O’Brien

To infinity … and the bus!

Jeb Bush said last night that he wants to see Margaret Thatcher on the $10 bill. While Donald Trump said, “They make a $10 bill?” –Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush admitted last night that he smoked marijuana in college. Not that shocking. But based on the speed he was talking, I’m pretty sure Ben Carson smoked marijuana at every commercial break. ?” –Seth Meyers

A “Toy Story" fan in England changed his name to Buzz Lightyear and was then refused a driver's license until he changed his name back. Said the man, “To infinity … and the bus!” –Seth Meyers

He said it's a total housekeeper magnet

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has not taken off his wedding ring. When asked why, he said it's a total housekeeper magnet." –Conan O'Brien 



"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno


"The Chairman of the Republican Party Ed Cox said that he would use the incriminating pictures from Anthony Weiner to defeat him. So now we have Cox versus Weiner. This just doesn't stop!" –Jay Leno


John Hulse photography