Real Housewives of Beverly Hills just joined SEAL Team 6 (Torso Jones)

"Nine survivors of shark attacks recently went to Washington, D.C., to press the Senate to put new restrictions on shark fishing. The Senate met with the leader of the group, Torso Jones." --Conan O'Brien

 A new study just came out that found that breast implants can save your life if you’re shot in the chest. In a related story, the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” just joined SEAL Team 6. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security (Was it Paul Revere again?)

"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno

"There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? 'Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security.'" –Jay Leno

"Tomorrow is April Fool's Day or as a lot of people are calling it President Bush’s Day." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

In a related story, Siri is now asking to be addressed as Steve (Oh, hell, where did I leave that baby?)

A new study just came out that found that breast implants can save your life if you’re shot in the chest. In a related story, the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” just joined SEAL Team 6. –Conan O’Brien

iPhone users are reporting that Siri will correct them if they try to say Bruce Jenner instead of Caitlyn. In a related story, Siri is now asking to be addressed as Steve. —Conan O’Brien

According to a poll that just came out, Donald Trump is getting zero percent of the black vote in some states. Trump said, "Don’t worry, by the time the election comes around I will double that.” –Conan O’Brien

"This is weird. In a recent interview, Levi Johnston said that Sarah Palin could never handle the responsibility of being president. Then he said, 'Oh, hell, where did I leave that baby?'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Here's my question: Is 28% still technically an approval rating? (Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security)

"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno

"There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? 'Honey, I'm not looking at her breasts. I'm working for Homeland Security.'" –Jay Leno

"President Bush's approval rating has dropped to an all-time low of 28%. Here's my question: Is 28% still technically an approval rating?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Colonoscopy 2: 2 Blocked 2 Scope (Biden Inert)

“Yes, Trump’s first part of his physical is going to be such a hit that next year, they’re coming out with a sequel: ‘Colonoscopy 2: 2 Blocked 2 Scope.’” --Stephen Colbert

“I just had one. My doctor never said, ‘O.K., uh, drop your pants, uh, bend over, try to relax — I’ll be back in six months.’” --Stephen Colbert

“Phase 1 was this weekend, Phase 2 is next — was this a physical or a kitchen remodel?” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Phase 1 of a physical? That sounded strange so we did some digging and discovered that his annual physical has five phases, so let’s take a look now at the five phases of Donald Trump’s annual physical. Phase 1: Measure his official height and negotiate his official weight. Phase 2: A complete strip, spackle, priming and repainting. Phase 3: His annual battery of paternity tests. Phase 4: Surgically remove his hand from a Nutella jar. And finally, Phase 5: Ask about getting breast implants — not the procedure, he just wants to play around with them.” --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cheney turkey torture/Greetings, hoes/Hooters stock

"Tomorrow at the White House, President Bush will pardon the turkey and today, Dick Cheney spent all day torturing it" --David Letterman

"President Bush's very busy. Yesterday, he went to Ho Chi Minh City. Unfortunately, when Bush addressed the crowd he said, 'Greetings, hoes.' Actually, this is the first time President Bush has visited Vietnam. Afterwards, the President said, 'It's nice here. I don't know what John McCain's talking about." --Conan O'Brien

"According to our latest intelligence, Osama bin Laden is losing his influence and power. I didn't know he was a Republican." --Jay Leno

"The FDA lifted the ban on silicon breast implants. One thing about those Democrats, they don't waste any time. They promised us change for the better, hey, we got it. Sounds like a return to the Clinton era. Hooters' stock went up six dollars a share." --Jay Leno