"A new season of
'Survivor' debuted tonight featuring the controversial idea of separating the
tribes by race. The Asian tribe is called Puka Puka, the African-American tribe
is called Manihiki, and the Caucasian tribe is called the Republicans."
--Conan O'Brien
"On 'Dancing with the
Stars' the other night, conservative pundit Tucker Carlson is gone. He got the
least number of votes. A Republican stopped by a lack of votes -- when does
that ever happen?" --Jay Leno
"In this week's
election in Delaware, a Republican candidate for the state House named Ulysses
S. Grant won the primary. He said he thinks having a famous name helped him
win. Although it didn't do anything for his opponent, Fred bin Laden."
--Jay Leno
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