Watch Tucker's reaction when his guest revealed what happened behind the scenes!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

Tucker Carlson with Jimmy Dore: Trump’s MSG Rally, WaPo Refusing to Endorse Kamala, & Why Trump Winning Is Essential

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Tucker Carlson CALLS OUT Bari Weiss to Joe Rogan: 'Neocon, Liar'

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Tucker Carlson SOUNDS OFF On Ben Shapiro, Israel, Free Speech And UFOs

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I mean, does he have a collection of paintings that weren’t by Hitler? (Poe Dancing)

April 2023

“Whenever something really big happens that involves Fox News, the last people to hear about it are usually the people who watch Fox News. The network tends to hide news about itself from its own viewers. Last night there were probably a bunch of 80-year-olds watching substitute host Brian Kilmeade, saying, ‘Tucker looks different now.’” —Seth Meyers

“Man, when Fox cuts ties with someone, they cut ties. That’s the Fox News version of rolling up someone in a carpet and throwing them in the East River.” —Seth Meyers

“But what could they have on Tucker Carlson that would embarrass him? Did he once try to buy a fuel-efficient car? I mean, does he have a collection of paintings that weren’t by Hitler?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“This week also saw news that Donald Trump might skip the presidential debates as he doesn’t want to subject himself to Maga-hating anchors. I bet this is gonna be like WrestleMania when he says he’s not gonna be there then in the middle of the debate he runs out on stage and hits Ron DeSantis over the head with a folding chair.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal? (fun sized)

April 2023

“Joe Biden is so old his face could be on money while he is still in office.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I wonder what Tucker Carlson did on his first morning without his prime-time show. Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump has a new book, which includes letters from various celebrities, many of them thanking him for campaign donations in the past. It’s like he just showed up at a publisher’s office and dumped a bunch of envelopes on their desk. In an interview with Newsmax, Trump claimed the book, which is being sold for $99.99 each, includes ‘beautiful’ letters from such figures as Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton and others. ‘I think people are going to learn a lot from this book’, he said. Right, it will probably be taught in Florida schools.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“President Biden announced today that he will run for a second term and said, ‘Let’s finish the job.’ Yeah, good idea. It would be nice to have a country where a guy could safely retire before he’s 86.” —Seth Meyers

“Can you imagine if it’s Biden versus Trump again? That’s like going into a diner, and the only things on the menu are 2-day-old egg salad and Donald Trump. I guess I’ll take my chances with the egg salad.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He could just find a never-ending supply of quarters behind your ear (fancy cups)

April 2023

“On Tuesday, President Biden announced he will run for re-election, he isn’t exactly running — he is more accurately stair lifting for re-election.” —Desi Lydic

“If Joe Biden does win, he would be 86 years old when he reaches the end of his second term, hopefully, which is one reason why 70 percent of Americans don’t think he should run again. And to be fair, 86 is old — not just for president, but for any job. If my Lyft driver rolled up and was 86 years old, I’d be like, ‘Do you need help getting home?’” —Desi Lydic

“But I don’t know, maybe it would be good to have an old man president. If the economy collapses, he could just find a never-ending supply of quarters behind your ear.” —Desi Lydic

“Looking deeper into Fox News’s shock firing of Tucker Carlson. The network reportedly informed the anchor of his exit only 10 minutes before they announced it publicly, which is so cold. I mean, that’s barely enough time to pack up all his Nazi memorabilia. Not to mention, he was Fox’s most popular anchor, and they still fired him. That’d be like if MSNBC fired … well … imagine there was a show people watched on MSNBC. It would be like firing them!” —Desi Lydic

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Russell Brand: Tucker Carlson - WHAT THE F*CK JUST HAPPENED?!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off (selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead)

April 2023

“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” —Jimmy Kimmel on Fox’s $800 Million Dominion settlement

“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” —James Corden

“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” —James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Harsh, accurate words (Do I get a sash?)

“Last night, the former sat down with Tucker Carlson who, thanks to revelations from the Dominion lawsuit, we now know hates the president passionately, privately texting that he’s ‘a demonic force.’ Harsh, accurate words.” — Stephen Colbert

“A judge sanctioned Fox News on Wednesday for withholding evidence relevant to Dominion Voting Systems’ lawsuit. He said he would probably appoint a ‘special master’ — an outside lawyer — to investigate whether the network had misled the court. So the job is to figure out whether Fox News lies? Hold on, hold on — am I a special master? Do I get a sash?” —Stephen Colbert

“Over in Fox News today they began jury selection in Dominion’s $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox, and this trial’s gonna be juicy. For instance, the judge has ruled that Dominion can compel testimony from Fox News personalities Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Jeanine Pirro. And to make sure Jeanine Pirro tells the truth, they’re swearing her in on a box of wine.” —Stephen Colbert

“So the judge is furious because Fox withheld the tapes. Although to be fair to Fox, they might not have known which embarrassing Rudy Giuliani tape they were being asked for. The one where the oil was leaking from his head or the one where he’s farting in court? The one where he’s unbuttoning his pants for Borat’s daughter? Or could it be the one where he held a press conference outside a dildo shop? How are they supposed to keep track of them all?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It must have been when they made slavery illegal in Mississippi all the way back in ... four weeks ago (Delusions)

A few years ago Tucker Carlson was a regular guest on a radio show called Bubba the Love Sponge. One of the many things that Carlson said that have people upset, is that he called women “Primitive.” Sure, women are primitive. Right now, many of them want to throw Tucker Carlson into a volcano. --Stephen Colbert

This week, it came out that one of Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago buddies wrote him a policy pitch for the Department of Veterans Affairs, to which Trump responded, “Affairs? I’m In. In fact, I’m a veteran.” --Stephen Colbert

"I must have missed the moment when racism ended. I wonder when it was? The time Ross dated Aisha Tyler on 'Friends?' Or when Keebler added a black elf? Oh, I know. It must have been when they made slavery illegal in Mississippi all the way back in ... four weeks ago." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore with Anya Parampil: “Kremlin Intermediary” TELLS ALL About NSA Spying On Tucker Carlson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Russell Brand: “I’M ASHAMED” Tucker Carlson Just admitted THIS

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

if you’re comfortable filming yourself eating in the shower, I would argue you don’t have enough anxiety (it’s a short film about being a step mom)

March 2023

This weekend bitter rivals who have been desperately pandering for votes and trying to force their politics on America will finally face off in person. I’m, of course, talking about tomorrow’s Oscars. —Colin Jost

Tucker Carlson seen here laughing at a dog locked in a hot car, released security footage from the January 6th attacks with the violence edited out and said it proves that it was a peaceful gathering. Which is like editing all the sex out of a porn video and saying it’s a short film about being a step mom. —Colin Jost

After Walgreens announced they will stop selling abortion pills in 21 states, CVS has remained silent on the issue. While over at Rite Aid, you can just grab a pill from the Take Abortion Leave Abortion tray. —Colin Jost

There is a trend on TikTok of people eating oranges in showers claiming that it reduces and anxiety. But if you’re comfortable filming yourself eating in the shower, I would argue you don’t have enough anxiety. —Colin Jost

A new study finds that long distance running does not cause wear and tear on marathoners’ knees, but it does sand their nipples clean off. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is why I always order mine well done (staying out of re-education camps)

March 2023

A new study finds some New York City rats carry the virus that causes Covid, which is why I always order mine well done. —Michael Che

President Biden’s proposed budget included $400 Million to counter Chinese disinformation. It will target the number one source of Chinese disinformation. Fortune cookies. —Michael Che

New documents from the Dominion lawsuit revealed texts from Tucker Carlson in which he says he hates Donald Trump passionately and can’t wait until he’s able to ignore him. That must suck to go on TV and put on a smile and make friends with some psychotic bigot just because it’s good for the show. Anyway, back to you, Colin. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They’re basically overpaid wedding DJs (America Needs Unions)

March 2023

“There has been a nonstop avalanche of embarrassing revelations in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News, including particularly damning texts from host Tucker Carlson. Carlson, an ardent on-air election denier and Trump supporter, wrote in private shortly after the 2020 election: ‘We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on. There isn’t really an upside to Trump.’ 

Look, I know he was never going to say that on camera, but it would’ve been so fun to see Tucker after the election being honest on TV like a shellshocked basketball coach giving a post-game press conference after losing by 50 points. It’s such a stunning admission that undercuts the entire premise of the Trump presidency and the devil’s bargain the conservative movement has made with him. It exposes their entire project as a sham and a fraud. 

They debased themselves for a guy they were personally disgusted by and at the end of it they admitted they had nothing to show for it. It was all a lie and they all knew it, and now it’s all coming out. One message from host Maria Bartiromo, who said ‘to be honest, our audience doesn’t want to hear about a peaceful transition’. That’s the key right there. That explains it all. Fox’s audience doesn’t want to hear the truth, so Fox chose not to tell them. Fox News doesn’t deliver the news, they take requests and do their best to fulfill them. They’re basically overpaid wedding DJs.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They’re like a creepy husband from a Lifetime movie (do what the crack dealers do: use a payphone!)

March 2023

“New court filings from Dominion Voting Systems’ defamation lawsuit against Fox News, a network which does something that virtually no other mainstream media outlet does: they tell their viewers that they can only trust Fox News and no one else. They’re like a creepy husband from a Lifetime movie.” —Seth Meyers

“We’ve been finding out what they really think about Donald Trump, and it’s hilarious. Tucker Carlson’s texts about Trump, in which he said he hated him and that ‘there is no upside to Trump’. That’s fighting words! White on white crime, let’s go. I know this looks bad, but their makeup sex is going to be so much hotter. This is so embarrassing for Fox News. If they want to keep their shit quiet, they should do what the crack dealers do: use a payphone! I am enjoying the reveals: I have never seen someone’s private texts that are so opposite from their public persona. This is like finding out Nikki Haley has a blaccent.” —Marlon Wayans

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they greeted each other like two action figures having sex (which I think is something Trump recommended as a cure for Covid)

Donald Trump visited East Palestine, the site of the recent train derailment. Several of the trains that derailed were carrying highly toxic vinyl chloride, which I think is something Trump recommended as a cure for Covid. —Colin Jost

Tucker Carlson, seen here at a White’s Only rave, has been granted access to over 40,000 hours of security footage from the January 6th riots. Watching all that will make you go insane, said psychiatrists about Tucker Carlson’s show. —Colin Jost

This week President Biden made a historic visit to Ukraine and met with Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky where they greeted each other like two action figures having sex. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole (Did I stab that fella?)

February 2023

“There was a stunning deposition by Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire owner of Fox News, in the defamation lawsuit against the network by Dominion Voting Systems. Murdoch admitted under oath that Fox hosts Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Lou Dobbs and Maria Bartiromo and others knowingly endorsed Donald Trump’s lie about the 2020 election and undermined Joe Biden’s victory. But when asked if Fox News endorsed Trump’s big election lies, Murdoch answered ‘Not Fox … No. Not Fox’. But if your most viewed hosts endorsed it, then your network endorsed it! I’d like to see this guy in a murder trial – ‘did I stab that fella? No. I mean, my hand did, but he’s an independent contractor.’” —Stephen Colbert

“We dug into the Murdoch deposition, though I wouldn’t call what we found out shocking. Fox knew the election wasn’t stolen but they said it anyway? That’s not shocking. If Brian Kilmeade ever completed a Wordle – that would be shocking.— Hasan Minhaj

“I’m not shocked, but I will say: I am very entertained, because of all the text messages between Fox News hosts revealed in discovery. There’s LinkedIn you. And then there’s iMessage you. That’s the deep, dark underbelly of who you really are. And boy oh boy were these iMessages good. For example, Tucker Carlson sent Laura Ingraham a text saying: ‘Sidney Powell is lying … it’s insane.’ Ingraham responded: ‘She is a complete nut.’ Carlson also called Trump a ‘demonic force’. Ingraham referred to Rudy Giuliani as an ‘idiot’, while Hannity texted that he ‘was acting like an insane person’. Oh my God, do you know what this means? These people are secretly sane. They also don’t respect anyone they have on their show. These guys are texting each other all day about how bullshit Fox News is. Their group chat is basically MSNBC. There was one text from Carlson that truly freaks me out. Carlson wrote: ‘Do the executives understand how much credibility and trust we’ve lost with our audience? We’re playing with fire … for real and alternative like Newsmax could be devastating to us.’ Think of it like this: Tucker Carlson is a moral vacuum. A hole, if you will, who glorifies election deniers. So, a glory hole. And his viewers expect him to please them with his mouth. And he’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole. And that’s why Tucker Carlson will never stop sucking.” — Hasan Minhaj

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore Brings ANTI-WAR Message To Fox News

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”