Cruz locks himself in a transgender bathroom and vows never come out

The Indiana primary was today and we’re this much closer to having a president who starts Twitter fights with Cher. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump had a big win. Indiana is a basketball state. He’s worried that if he spent too much time there, people might try to grab his orange head and try to dribble it. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump now leads Ted Cruz by 42 points, which is too many points. Is anybody else starting to feel bad for Ted Cruz? Poor guy probably wants to lock himself up in a transgender bathroom and never come out. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump is trying to spread the tabloid story that Ted Cruz’s dad is somehow involved in the assassination of JFK. While I’m pretty sure Rafael Cruz didn’t have anything to do with the assassination of JFK, he does look like a James Bond villain from the Sean Connery era. –Jimmy Kimmel