"Forbes
Magazine just released their
list of the top earning dead celebrities. Elvis is number one. Number two dead
celebrity, John Lennon. Number three, surprisingly, Larry King" --Jay Leno
"Last
night during the Democratic presidential debate, Senator
Barack Obama
accused Hillary Clinton of frequently changing positions. After hearing
this, Bill Clinton said, 'I wish.'" --Conan O'Brien
"There
was another presidential debate last night. The Democrats got together in
Philadelphia. It may be time to start voting some of these guys off already.
One candidate, who I think we can assume won't get the nomination, is Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Kucinich yesterday told the Philadelphia
Inquirer that we should
seriously start asking questions about President Bush's mental health. As if we
haven't been doing that here every night." --Jimmy Kimmel
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