You know, you just don't flush a career like that down the toilet

"Senator Larry Craig, the man of the peep hole. I'm sorry, man of the people. As you know, Larry Craig said he was going to resign. He has now vowed to stay in the Senate and finish his term. You know, you just don't flush a career like that down the toilet." --Jay Leno

"They were celebrating Columbus Day down in Washington, DC, and  President Bush was apparently a little confused. Earlier today, he pardoned a lasagna." --David Letterman

"President Bush on Wednesday vetoed a bipartisan bill that would have dramatically expanded children’s health insurance. Explained the president, 'I hate kids.'" --Seth Meyers

"In a preview of a looming 2008 election battle over stem cell research and global warming,  Hillary Clinton, Thursday, accused  President George W. Bush of waging a war on science. Of course, based on his previous wars, this will probably just end up creating more scientists." --Seth Meyers