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Sunday, May 22, 2016

Are you the Shiite head?/nutcrackers/All bibles





"This year the White House Christmas decorations include a 10-foot-tall nutcracker. Experts say this is the biggest nutcracker at the White House since Hillary Clinton." --Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, President Bush met with the head of one of Iraq's Shiite political parties. However, there was an awkward moment when Bush asked him, 'Are you the Shiite head?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Conservative columnist Dennis Prager this week blasted Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, for his decision to take the oath of office with his hand on a Koran instead of a Bible. Like this guy did [on screen: Tom DeLay]. Or this guy [on screen: Mark Foley]. Or this guy [on screen: Richard Nixon]. All bibles." --Seth Myers

"This is the time of the year everybody's getting ready for the holidays. Earlier today, Dick Cheney brought home a Christmas tree that he shot." --David Letterman



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