Hillary raised over $27 million in the last quarter -- much of it legally

Chevy Chase on Saturday Night Live: "While campaigning in New Hampshire, Rudy Giuliani insisted that his core support is from the evangelical voters because they know where he stands on the issues. While he can appeal to Mormons because he's had a few wives, Catholics will be drawn to him because his son hates him. He personally finds abortion morally repugnant, but feels that women should have the right to choose to divorce him. 

Meanwhile, Republican Mitt Romney, who is polling ever so close in the polls, admitted that his given name is Rubber Mittens, and that he does indeed comb his hair with olive oil and a fork. Hillary Clinton's campaign announced Monday that it raised over $27 million in the last quarter -- much of it legally." 

"In fact, Republicans are so mad about Larry Craig staying, they may ask  Cheney to take him out back and shoot him." --Jay Leno

"Beautiful day here in New York City. So beautiful today,  President Bush said, 'Maybe I won't do anything about global warming.'" --David Letterman