Have you met a straight guy in this shape?

The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety, it's a real condition that primarily affects people with no actual problems. –James Corden

Trump won a primary last night. He got 76 percent. John Kasich got 9.8 percent. Somehow Kasich is doing better since he dropped out. –Jimmy Kimmel

There's a movement online, a hashtag, called #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. They want Marvel Comics to make Captain America gay. I wouldn't be surprised if he already is. Have you met a straight guy in this shape? –Jimmy Kimmel