Or, as Native Americans call it, Illegal Immigration Day.

"The Chicago Cubs were swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks. Do you realize Arizona wasn't even a state the last time the Cubs won the World Series? To give you an idea of how long ago that was,  Fred Thompson was still married to his first wife." --Jay Leno

"Today is Columbus Day. Or, as Native Americans call it, 'Illegal Immigration Day.'" --Jay Leno

"The U.S. military is now targeting al Qaeda's Internet capabilities. Apparently, al Qaeda is always trying to recruit new members on the Internet. They hook up on something called JihadHarmony.com. You meet your terrorist soul mate." --Jay Leno

"Senator Larry Craig, the man of the peep hole. I'm sorry, man of the people. As you know, Larry Craig said he was going to resign. He has now vowed to stay in the Senate and finish his term. You know, you just don't flush a career like that down the toilet." --Jay Leno