We are so screwed (metric system version)

"In 2008, Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City, may run for president. And if elected, he'll take a no-nonsense approach to Iraq. And the first thing he's going to do over there is get rid of the squeegee guys." --David Letterman

"President Bush met with the 10-member Iraqi study group to hear their assessment of Iraq. They are now preparing the report. We have an advanced copy here. It's called, 'We are so screwed.'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush is in Southeast Asia and because of the metric system over there, his approval rating is actually 62." --David Letterman

"Earlier today, President Bush met with the three big U.S. automakers at the White House. To give you an idea of how well things are going, the three big U.S. automakers are now Tonka, Matchbox and Hot Wheels." --Jay Leno